Putting baby to sleep on tummy

Elle00

carolwat wrote: »

ignore those who have nothing better to do than to critisise when really they have no idea what its like to be in our position.

Carol

PMSL! Nooo, I was ill all through my pregnancy, my baby was a little over a month premature, I had an emergency elective caesarean which left me with back pain, I had an allergic reaction to the drugs they gave me after the surgery, I lost a litre of blood during the surgery, I had a sick baby who repeatedly vomitted until 7wks old when he was finally diagnosed with milk intolerance, I contracted pneumonia just 3wks after the birth and to top it off I'd just moved to a strange town where I knew not one person 4 days before giving birth. I have NO idea do I!

I too needed sleep, but I got it in a SAFE way. Have you even read my original post properly? I didn't say sleep is not important, I said it is not something that should be gained at the risk of a child's life. And I explained a way to get that sleep safely based on my own experience.

Elle00

Elle83 wrote: »

I thought hard about this when my son was born and also noted he slept much better on his tummy; but I wonder if this is half the problem? If they go into a deep, restful sleep with the mattress under their nose then it's obviously going to be much more likely to cause cot death, especially in the early weeks before they learn to breath out of their mouths (hence why snuffly newborns can't feed properly!).

I don't want to worry anyone but it's important I'm honest about something so serious. When you sleep them on their backs, there's no chance of them smothering themselves plus they often jerk themselves awake every so often so it's obvious that this is the safest position for them to sleep in and has saved hundreds of baby's lives since the advice came into practice.

I second the posters recommending the Angelcare monitor as this is what I ended up using. No sleeping on the belly till you get one though! With this monitor, although there is still the same risk that your baby could stop breathing - you would be immediately alerted to the situation and able to sort your baby out. My monitor only went off a few times while I used it (I used it up until 6m) and for all I know, it could have been he rolled off the pad or it could have been he really did stop breathing and the monitor alerted us to save him in time.

If you can't afford a pricey under mattress sensor, then maybe you should consider swaddling your DD and laying her on her front but at an angle so her airways are clear off the mattress?

I know it's hard but you have to look for a good balance here. Yes you do need your sleep, all new Mums do, but do try to strike a balance between convenience and safety. You'd never forgive yourself if anything happened.

Finally, congratulations on your new addition!!! Here's hoping you're both happy and healthy

Please actually read the original post. It is NOT a criticism, it does NOT say new Mums do not need their sleep and I cannot see how on earth anyone can think this is "sanctimonious".

Bun

Hi Becles,

I sincerely hope my post has not upset you - you have been through a very tough time. My post was meant more in reply to those who have been saying 'well we didn't do it when we were young and we're ok'. This is just another worry on top of everything else that you don't need - you clearly are taking it seriously or you wouldn't have posted, so I agree that dismissing your concerns really isn't going to help. And sleep deprivation isn't used as a method of torture for nothing, you need some to function. Personally whilst I agree in theory the rooming in practise with newborn babies, it gives you no rest at all to recover to come home - I had 1 3/4 hours sleep in 48 with ds and was a zombie.

I could never sleep during the day with him , what we did so I wouldn't go insane was I would breastfeed at about 9.30-10pm, then DH would have him for the next few hours, so I could at least get at least 2-3 hours deepish sleep. This was an absolute lifesaver - would your husband be able to give this a go for you? Also my midwife showed us a way to co-sleep when he just would not be put down, where he was in the crook of my arm on top of the duvet, so he didn't overheat, and couldn't fall out. DH was in the other room so no danger of rolling. YOu obviously aren't able to use a monitor this way though. I hope you feel a bit better soon. Let us know how you get on.

carolwat

Elle 83 please point out to me where I or anyone else has said YOUR post is sanctimonious. Please also point out where I said YOU have no idea. I wasnt referring to you in my post and nowhere does it suggest I am. I for one am all for the monitors you mention but I also think they can cause worry too. I had one provided by the special care unit and as my son moved about a lot the alarm was always triggering and setting us of in a huge panic. The day we pulled the plug on it was hard but it was a relief too.

Reread MY post and show me where I had a go at you.

Carol

Justie

let's calm it down - everyone is entitled to their opinion and I'm sure everyone has Becles best interests at heart just in text things are without context so it's easy to take comments more personally than they may have been intended.

There are a lot of guidelines out there and lots of dos and don'ts and it's up to every family to work out what risks they choose to take but it's in all our interested to point out those risks as none of us would want anything to happen to Becles little baby. Personally I think there is enough evidence that sleeping on the tummy is risky that I wouldn't let my little one when he arrives do it. But that's my choice based on my risk assessment. IF it seemed the only option then it would only be done with a monitor.

I can understand that Becles is tired and at the end of her tether so can we please phrase our responses to take that into account.

Becles sending you lots of sleep vibes and hugs :grouphug: and suggest you speak to the midwife and see what she suggests and if there are practical ways you can get some sleep during the day such as going to your parents then everything will seem less bad than it does now with so little sleep. YOU will do what it best for YOUR child and you're the only one who can decide what that is.

Becles

Spendless wrote: »

Becles, could you go to your parents house after the older ones have gone to school. Could you get some rest there whilst your neighbours have building work going on?

I can't drive at the moment. My feet and ankles are still so swollen that I struggle to walk, never mind flexing them to use the pedals. Public transport here is rubbish and it would take 3 buses to get there.

My Mam isn't around much this week as she agreed to do some extra hours at work. Baby picked the worst week to arrive - lol.

Charlotte has gone to sleep in her bouncy chair now, and it's raining so the builders have gone. Hopefully they've packed up for the day, and I'll get some sleep once I've eaten my lunch!

I'm not keen on co-sleeping as I'm a heavy sleeper, and I'd be paranoid in case I rolled on her and squashed her.

Hubby is doing as much as he can to help, but he's working Fri and Sat nights, so I don't want to wear him out too much!

Thanks again everyone for the messages. Much appreciated

Bun

Hi Becles,

For the time being have you thought about her sleeping in her bouncy chair at night? At least she sleeps and will give you a break, and it need only be temporary.

Hope you get a bit of sleep later!

Bun

Carmina_Piranha_3

i know people whose babies slept in a bouncy chair or car seat when they were very tiny because they hated being laid flat. some people also use the chair or pram when baby has a bad cold. it's not recommended but as long as it wasn't all the time every day it would probably be okay.

if little charlotte wants warm skin under her tummy she might have a bit of colic and that clears up quite quickly for most babies, fingers crossed for you.

the first few weeks with roo were so confusing before we got his milk problems sorted out. i ended up holding him constantly, only eating and drinking when my husband came back from work. the bouncy chair was a sanity-saver, especially the vibrating bit - he had a few small naps in there each day while i ate, drank, cleaned up etc.

i hope things get better soon, sorry your SPD is still bad.

wifeforlife

Becles wrote: »

Such sanctamonious responses are upsetting rather than being helpful.

Thank you so much to everyone else for the supportive responses. It's much appreciated.

I dont think Elle83 was being sanctimonious, she offered an opinion just like everyone else, IMHO it was a fairly nice post just reiterating what others before her said and your post is a tad ott considering.

Also Carolwat I dont think your justified in berating Elle83, she hasnt said anything at all which is rubish or criticising the original poster, she just offered an opinion as did everyone else, which in fact the op asked for, she simply stated to do as she felt was best for her and her baby.

Cate

Becles

cathy2702 wrote: »

and your post is a tad ott considering.

Please can everyone leave me alone now, unless they have constructive things to say. Things are difficult enough at home, without people criticising me on here too