Who's the breadwinner in your household?

halight

In our House there has been stages were I have had more money coming In than my wife, And There has been times when My wife has had more money coming in than me.

It's never bothered us really. As long as there has been enough to pay the bills and put food on the table.

We have a joint savings account. But our bank accounts are ours.

But we class all money that comes Into the House as "Joint" Money. No matter what account its in.
A bill turns up. One of us pays it. If one of us needs any cash then the other will give the cash.

Strange set up, And there might well be an easier way to work it all out.
But it has worked for us. We don't really fall out with each other over money.

ninadam

it varies with us. i work full time stock control for a cake factory, my wage is steady and ok money. bf is a self employed plasterer. he has weeks where theres little or no work.... but when he is working he earns about £400 a month more than me. he is sensible and saves for the weeks when theres no work so we dont really notice or worry too much when things are slow. i pay all the bills out of my bank and he gives me money each week, its kinda like him paying board like when he lived with his mum really but it works for us.

caeler

I am female and I'm the main breadwinner, I'm single now but when I wasn't I was still the higher earner. I didn't realise it at the time but it put a big strain on our relationship. I think regardless of gender being the main breadwinner does create pressure, the buck stops with you and I'm always thinking about money. Such as: is there enough to pay the mortgage and bills, can I save some money, will I be able to over pay the mortgage, etc etc.

carrielovesfanta

I have always earned more than my OH apart from when we very first met and I was unemployed.

At the moment I am the only earner in the household apart from OH's student loan money which I leave him to spend as he needs to. His course requires a lot of consumables (guitar strings etc)

When we both earned, we split the bills 50/50 (I only earned very slightly more than him). Now I pay all of the bills.

I think he does find it hard sometimes to be a "kept man" as it were. We do argue a bit about bills and I think it's because I pay them and so I'm more aware of the cost of things. He would think nothing of running a huge bath every evening (and topping it up with hot water for over 2 hours...). However, he gets very upset if he has no money to spend or a large bill comes in. He gets all depressed, talks about selling some of his guitars but then the next day he's back in he bath, or buying junk food. He's very governed by how he feels in the here and now.

GFN123

I am (female). We both work full time but I earn significantly more than my OH and am likely to continue to do so.

This suits us as I am more driven than him and enjoy the challenge of a busy, pressured career. OH is very laid back and deliberately left a well paying job (before he met me) to take a much lower paid one in an industry he actually enjoys. I truly admire him for this and would never want him to do a job he was unhappy with just for the sake of money.

Our joint goal is for my career to progress to the point we can afford for him to leave work, so he can renovate houses for us

We never argue about money. Bills are split proportionally to our salaries, and we share everything else. No joint account as I want each of us to be free to spend our spare money as we wish, though that may well come in time. Not opposed to it, we just have no need of one at present.

This completely mirrors my parents set up. My mum was very successful (and I hope to be!), and my dad ended up taking early retirement to look after me and the house etc. OH's parents had the 'traditional' relationship though, where his mum gave up work as soon as the first child was born.

I don't think it really matters in the end, as long as both are happy and working as team

onlyroz

When we met I was a PhD student and so hubby was the higher earner. I earn a bit more than him at the moment although with my student loan repayments there's not much in it.

balletshoes

sterl1ng wrote: »

Seems more and more women are taking this title and so I wonder if any posters here are and how you manage?

We're both the breadwinners in our household, I've always worked, and my OH has mostly worked, during our marriage. He's had very short periods of not working in between jobs, but when he does work, he earns more than I do.

abailey54

I used to earn about 50% more than DH until I went to a 4-day week, now it's almost equal

I don't think it makes any difference to us, dh doesn't harbour thoughts that he's not a real man for not earning big bucks. It all goes into the same pot and I'm responsible for updates on where the finances sit. I think what we each bring to the relationship is a lot more than money and are things that money can't buy

Ladyhawk

I am... But am also the only bread eater as I am single.

This issue is causing major issues for a friend of mine though. He's been out of work and is suffering from depression because he feels emasculated by his wife earning more. It's got to a stage now that she is considering leaving him as a result.

lushlifesaver

It was bf until last month when I started my new job; I now earn a shade under double his income. That could all change again in the next two months though as he may go fully funded and be a pro-athlete full time!

Either way I pay half the rent, all of the council tax and for all groceries plus my personal outgoings (mobile contract, gym, loan repayment and a couple of others) and he pays half the rent, electric, Sky, phone/internet (which all together work out to the same as me paying council tax and groceries!) and his personal stuff which is mostly diesel, mobile contract and any costs related to his training.

He works 4 hours a day, 5days a week (Tues &Sun off) and then trains full time whilst I work 8 hours a day, 5 days a week (mon-fri). At home we have very traditional roles - I don't mind really even though people say I should as I enjoy the domestic stuff :P plus he looks after me and takes me fun places haha