Ex moving new partner in whilst we live together

Trigger123

Bit of a odd situation but here goes..

I bought a house under a shared equity scheme with our local authority a few years ago with my then partner. Things started well for a couple of years but we drifted apart and ended up splitting up.

As my ex couldnt afford to buy me out or live elsewhere and we where amicable we have lived together as housemates. Everything has gone smoothly and we get on well however she has now met someone else.

This is where the problems start. This new partner of hers has some big influence on my ex now. Basically the new partner currently rents a room with friends and my ex and the new partner are wanting to move in together.

To my shock my ex has turned around and asked if the new partner can move in with us until they can afford to save up a house deposit. I can afford to buy my ex out but she wont let me. She cant afford to buy me out at the moment so we are stuck.

Im completely against this new partner moving in as the new partner makes me feel uncomfortable as it is let alone living with us. Problem is i feel like im over a barrell and dont have any choice.

Ive tried to get around the situation by offering to buy my ex out and letting them live there for a year paying minimal rent so i coukld ask the new partner to leave if it didnt work, but she wasnt happy with that.

I was wondering what my legal standing is. Can she move the new partner in against my wishes? We both jointly own the house so im not sure if she can or not. Is there any other options i could consider?

Appreciate people may want to comment on the mistakes that have already been made ie still living together after split etc but the situation is already hard enough without those sort of comments.

Thanks in advance.

Better_Days

Sounds like an awful situation, I feel for you.

You may wish to post on the relationships board http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.php?f=24
as people there may have some experience of this.

mildredalien

Wow that's terrible, has she no thought for how it will impact on you??

I'm not sure of the legal implications, I'd seek advice from Shelter or a solicitor. If you are joint tenants, surely you have some say over who lives in your home? Would this new partner pay rent or be a lodger?

Why can't your partner afford to live elsewhere? Would her and her new partner be able to afford rent together somewhere? How do they afford to live now?

mysterywoman10

A very difficult situation but I think you have a right to say who lives in your house whether jointly owned or not. Is there anything in the mortgage/shared equity scheme that prevents "others" from taking up residency?

I honestly think the best solution if she is unwilling to let you buy her out is to insist on a sale and split 50/50 and move on and start again. Being firm about this may make her realise that to take a buy out might be a better and quicker alternative for her? Surely by getting 50% of whatever equity there is would help on the way to her deposit?

I would't move out though or let them live there, until you get something sorted legally and that is to your satisfaction.

ValHaller

As I see it, you have absolute say on whether the ex's new bf can take up residence. I am with you here, as this will make for an extremely uncomfortable and possibly dangerous situation for you.

Ex could move new partner in against your wishes - but I don't see that this would be legal and I think that you would need a legal solution such as a restraining order preventing the partner entering the property.

Worth engaging a solicitor for advice on your rights and possible remedies if you feel that it could happen behind your back.

Probably a good idea now to write a letter stating you do not want new partner in residence (not 'would prefer that X did not move in' more 'I do not accept X moving in'). Keep a copy off premises

Remember that ex could force you to sell unless you buy her out.

BigAunty

I agree with the other posters that you must seek legal advice on this with a solicitor to find out your rights.

While it's the case that with joint owners, both of them have the right to take up occupancy, I don't know the position on whether or not they have the right to impose a guest.

How does she feel about selling the property on the open market? I suspect that her proposal to move her partner in is a way of applying pressure on you to sell up. Clearly, she doesn't want you to have the property even though you can afford it and she can't. You say its amicable and she wants to move on but since the easiest and quickest solution would be for you to buy her out, then surely she does have an issue with the relationship breakdown.

You've even offered an interim solution that would help her save money and give her privacy but she's rejected this. So is this a ploy to force you to sell up and take her off the financial commitment of being a joint owner?

Is there much equity in the property and have you offered her a fair share (such as 50% or whatever percent of the equity and her share of the property she contributed, less half the legal fees?) or does she dispute the valuation and equity payout proposed?

Even if there is only a little equity in the property, it is a fact that she would struggle to buy a second property while jointly owning another property - perhaps the sale of it on the open market and punishing you by forcing you out is her primary goal and this is why she has come up with this humiliating scheme to move in her new partner and the excuse that there is an economic imperative that forces her to do this.

Annisele

I'm not a lawyer - and I agree you should get legal advice - but I think the legal position is that she has the right to invite anybody she likes to live in the house. You have the right to ask any guest to leave at any time.

So - she can ask him in, you can chuck him out, then she can ask him in again ... and you could go around that roundabout five times in as many minutes if you were both so inclined.

I assume there's a reason you haven't already sold the place? Selling seems like the best option all around, unless the reason you haven't is a stupendously good one.

missile

I would ask partner to wait until you have seen a solicitor. I would do that asap with view to forcing a sale.

Many people buy a house together before marraige, but it is a huge risk if you do not agree in advance an exit strategy in the event of separation.

ValHaller

Annisele wrote: »

I'm not a lawyer - and I agree you should get legal advice - but I think the legal position is that she has the right to invite anybody she likes to live in the house. You have the right to ask any guest to leave at any time.

So - she can ask him in, you can chuck him out, then she can ask him in again ... and you could go around that roundabout five times in as many minutes if you were both so inclined.

I assume there's a reason you haven't already sold the place? Selling seems like the best option all around, unless the reason you haven't is a stupendously good one.

I can see that for a day guest. I cannot see it for taking up residence.

rpc

I'd be talking to a solicitor with a view to first explaining to ex that a sale can be forced and then later on getting a court order for sale. Solicitor could also explain the rights that the three of you have (I think you could chuck him out whenever you wish).

No court in the land will force someone to retain ownership of a property they want to sell. If you want to go down that route, you and your ex need to decide how much to waste on legal fees.

nomoneytoday

It sounds to me as though there is a still a one sided attachment to the old relationship, hence the emotions at someone new moving in.

Sell up and walk away.