Ex moving new partner in whilst we live together

thelem

Being a PITA could easily turn a civil disagreement following an amicable split into a shouting match.

Lance

It won't be nice but this will probably make her realize if she wants to live with a partner she needs to get one with a house / flat or get the cash off you to rent a flat with the great catch she has fallen for.

Trigger123

19lottie82 wrote: »

T123, I'm a little confused as to why she won't let you buy her out, if you say things are amicable, and she wants to get together a deposit to buy a new place with her current partner?

I don't know why she is being so unreasonable. It's a win win situation for her as she gets the money from the house enabling her to buy somewhere else and she can move quickly if they find a nice house.

I wouldn't wish this situation on anyone and have lost count of the number of nights sleep I have lost through it!

Just feel like I'm in a corner with no way out and am trying to grasp onto the little shreds of hope I have that I have some control ie hopefully I can say no to the partner moving in

Mojisola

Trigger123 wrote: »

To my shock my ex has turned around and asked if the new partner can move in with us until they can afford to save up a house deposit.

I can afford to buy my ex out but she wont let me.

She cant afford to buy me out at the moment so we are stuck.

She asked you - your answer is "No!" A very loud, firm no.

If she wants to live with her partner, she can let you buy her out of the house.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

thelem wrote: »

Being a PITA could easily turn a civil disagreement following an amicable split into a shouting match.

And you think moving the new boyfriend in will turn an amicable split into what, exactly?

RAS

Trigger123 wrote: »

I don't know why she is being so unreasonable. It's a win win situation for her as she gets the money from the house enabling her to buy somewhere else and she can move quickly if they find a nice house.

She is being unreasonable because for some reason she wants to hurt you. You may know why, or it may just be that she finds that living with you is difficult now you have split up.

It sounds from your other comments like she is a bit of a bully. Unless you stand up for yourself, she will back you in a corner. Which is why you need to get yourself out there in the centre of the room.

thelem

Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »

And you think moving the new boyfriend in will turn an amicable split into what, exactly?

You can say "no, I'm not letting you move your new partner in" without doing things designed just to annoy the ex.

AlexMac

I assume that as over 24 hours have passed since you posted this enquiry, you will, by now have taken legal advice, or at least found a source of cheap or free advice - from Shelter, a law centre, Relate, or the lawyer who you used to do the original conveyance (maybe on the suggestion that if they give you a few free words of advice now, you'll be inclined to hire them for the inevitable sale).

One caution; if someone moves in as an unofficial 'tenant' (and what other status will they have, as presumably, they'll be contributing to rent, mortgage or other costs?) then they can claim some rights and screw up the eventual sale. A standard buyers solicitor's enquiry is 'anyone else living at the property', and they get jittery if there is. When my OH and I sold up, her 20-year-old son, by a previous marriage, had to sign away any rights to the house which he was still living in, so as not to muddy the sale!

And on the same tack- not knowing about the rental element of shared ownership, but assuming it's in effect part owned/part tenancy (?), what does your lender say about lodgers? Or your lender?

But as many people above say- the human side of this must be awful, so best wishes; it will get better. And as a mate of mine said when I went through the mangle- 'conduct yourself as you will wish to be judged and remembered by others who observe you'

AlexMac

In para 3, above, I meant 'landlord (not 'lender ' x 2). good luck

Funky_Bold_Ribena

thelem wrote: »

You can say "no, I'm not letting you move your new partner in" without doing things designed just to annoy the ex.

And she says 'tough' and moves him in...and then what?