Catriona's Credit Card Countdown

catriona79

Good morning

So, it's another Monday! Can you believe it? The weekend went by really fast, but on the plus side: it's 9 days till pay day. Wednesday next week!! That's when I am in London too. So very timely.

No studying done at the weekend, and I do have to either start doing an hour each day of the week at night or set aside either Saturday or Sunday.

Have a lovely day everyone x

AspiringButAnxious

Hit those books! Lol! Hope you have a fabulous week

bellevie

catriona79 wrote: »

I am used to the kind of relationship my husband and I had, ano one way or another still expect what I was getting in my marriage.

You seem to me to be very positive and your relationship with your daughter is fab. What do you mean by you had the shock of your life? Life's twists and turns, eh?

You could have hit the nail on the head there. Two very different men, two very different lives. Not to mention that everything else has shaped you along the way.
I guess its how much you are able to compromise and let go over your head without it grinding you down. Sometimes we need to pick our battles - my dd has taught me that, I just haven't the energy!

Re my ex, exactly a twist I just didn't see coming, and when it did it well, I just could never go through that again.
I think as a scorpion AND INFJ, I'm happier alone anyway

I have a few male friends, all of the ones still single my age are exactly that, indecisive!

I don't necessarily agree that we are all meant to be with someone eternally anyway, and I was a true Cinderella dreamer once upon a time!
I believe we are destined to cross some paths, some last and some are just to learn life's lessons and move on. Some lessons needless to say are nicer than others

Rebecca01

Hi Catriona.

I have just read your diary. I just wanted to say well done on how far you have come. You have given me hope as I have been divorced, left with nothing just debt and I am restarting. You have showed this is possible.

I am only a year younger than you but you seem to have achieved quite quickly. So Thank you for your diary I have loved reading about your adventures and ideas.


You should be proud what you have achieved with your house.

catriona79

AspiringButAnxious wrote: »

Hit those books! Lol! Hope you have a fabulous week

Hello, INFP:)

My best friend is INFP and an aspiring writer too! I'm going to see her in London next week. she's a lovely personality.

I know, I know, need to hit the books!!! :eek::mad::A:T

Hehe!!

You too, have a great week x

catriona79

Rebecca01 wrote: »

Hi Catriona.

I have just read your diary. I just wanted to say well done on how far you have come. You have given me hope as I have been divorced, left with nothing just debt and I am restarting. You have showed this is possible.

I am only a year younger than you but you seem to have achieved quite quickly. So Thank you for your diary I have loved reading about your adventures and ideas.


You should be proud what you have achieved with your house.

Hello Rebecca, thankyou for your lovely message. I'll reply properly tomorrow, just wanted to say hi and hang in there x

catriona79

Good morning my dears.

Writing this from my bed, as it's a Wednesday! Whoop whoop!

Nati0nwide texted yesterday to say they have issued a firm mortgage offer. Whoop whoop. That's payments down by £135 a month. I can always op that, but really, I will be saving it, that's the best way.

Situation at work still a bit unknown but my ex called me yesterday and we had a good chat and he offered to help me write up something interesting to submit to my boss. I really appreciated the chat and felt a million times better immediately. The ex had a superhero day yesterday, definitely.

Money wise, my lodger has half-paid up, and was supposed to give me the other half yesterday, but didn't. Bit annoying, as I really wanted to use it to pay off my CC, and what she's given me isn't enough. What can you do. Lesson is, don't use the credit card, then you won't worry!!! Which I must remember for this month. To be fair, I used it for uni fees and for flights home for Xmas, so that's not the worst.

This time next week I'll have been paid!!! Excellent stuff! I really can't wait this month. It wouldn't be so bad if my lodger had paid on 14th Oct, as per contract. But I need to organise myself better, and bring my expenses down.

catriona79

Orange_Ena wrote: »

It's coming........brace yourself! :rotfl: :beer:

Haha I'm very much wishing this week away now, although I shouldn't cause I'm only working 2.5 days

You can do it, no overdraft shall be used. Keep saying it

Have a good week too petal x

Ena, all I'm saying to you is: 5 days!!!!!!
:money::money::money::D
Afternoon off today? Enjoy!

And yes, no overdraft shall be used! No overdraft shall be used!!!

:T :beer:

catriona79

bellevie wrote: »

You could have hit the nail on the head there. Two very different men, two very different lives. Not to mention that everything else has shaped you along the way.
I guess its how much you are able to compromise and let go over your head without it grinding you down. Sometimes we need to pick our battles - my dd has taught me that, I just haven't the energy!

Re my ex, exactly a twist I just didn't see coming, and when it did it well, I just could never go through that again.
I think as a scorpion AND INFJ, I'm happier alone anyway

I have a few male friends, all of the ones still single my age are exactly that, indecisive!

I don't necessarily agree that we are all meant to be with someone eternally anyway, and I was a true Cinderella dreamer once upon a time!
I believe we are destined to cross some paths, some last and some are just to learn life's lessons and move on. Some lessons needless to say are nicer than others

Hello Bellevie,

It sounds like you have had a few set backs and curve balls, including the ex, but I'm in awe of how well you took targeted action, so that now you are in a situation where you have a fantastic relationship with your daughter, you have a career that is fulfilling and the earning potential of yourself pre-baby and you're getting ready to get your own house. These are all big deals, and the things that matter. And I'm sure it wasn't easy, day to day, to get yourself in this place. Well done! :T

I read this article and thought it was interesting, not sure if you've seen it:

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/oct/10/what-being-a-single-parent-is-really-like-sophie-heawood

Re men, it's interesting what you wrote about your male friends' indecisiveness. I'm beginning to see it now.

I remember my grandma telling me that if I had a good man, I should stick with him (and I did have one, and I didn't stick with him!) - now I see what she means. I guess we are all messed up in our own ways, and maybe the older you get the more protective you are of your heart. And also of your possessions! Especially where you've had to work like mad to get to where you are.
I find that the men who are left over (the ones that I've been meeting, and I do hope that there are others), are either:

1. The easy going but grandiose type

So relaxed they can never get their act together to achieve anything, and want to be provided for. This type is also proud of how easy going they are, stresses it all the time, and also makes ridiculous claims about their own achievements. I had one of them tell me recently that they are a very interesting person because they had three different careers. I asked what careers, they said first one was genetic research. So I asked - oh, so did you get a PhD? (Thinking that below that it's not research, my husband was an academic/scientist turned doctor) and the response was - "no I stopped at research assistant". It's a bit grandiose. There's nothing wrong with being a lab assistant, but why call it a career in genetic research?

The same way my ex was always telling me what a great financial position he was in. (That's not the ex I've been in contact with recently). We went out for 6 months, we spent all the time at mine, I had to fund everything, he didn't contribute to bills at all, even when he stayed for 2.5 weeks at Xmas, and when we went shopping (lidl, total damage £20.02) he couldn't even pay the bill, but stood there and asked me: "what do you want to do?". When he was staying with me and we ran out of say mouth wash, he had no problem going into the cupboard and just opening a new one I'd bought, didn't even tell me, like it was the most natural thing on earth. But he never troubled to bring a bag of shopping with him.
He was always telling me how he had aimed not to get married before turning 30 and that he had made it; that he was teaching his little nephew exactly the same, and thought that having a stable girlfriend and proposing in his early/mid 20s is too rash. What a mindset. So selfish.
He'd lived with his mum most of his life, the youngest of 5, and the older four were much older than him, so he grew up as an only child really. That's a 36 year old we are talking about.
On top of that he was always telling me what a "great situation he was in" financially. He had bankrupted himself two years previous, after a divorce, and was living with his mum and dad, and had about £15k savings. No home. No ability to get a mortgage. And he calls that a great situation.
Again, neither of the above is the end of the world, but I wouldn't quite pronounce it a great financial position, especially in your mid to late 30s when house prices are sky high and your girlfriend wants to have a baby. He was also in a job that was earning him ok money (35k ish) but was never going to earn him any more.

I just really don't get it, how some men spin these tales.

The genetic researcher I only met online and after that unfortunate bit of bragging by him, I haven't wanted to be in touch with him. I find all that unsubstantiated bragging annoying.

2. The bossy and heavy and selfish type.

The other group of men are men who are very demanding and stuck in their ways. Very strong Js in MBTI terms. Want everything on their terms, all the decisions made by them, have got somewhere in life perhaps (or often just achieved a mid level of comfort) and think that they are too good for most women. To them women are "crazy". They are really heavy company too.

So, I have to admit That I've been dating mostly the first type so far. And that I don't know, which type I'd choose, which is the lesser evil. I know I'd clash with type 2, and type 1 is usually to effeminate for me.

I think all the high achieving and intelligent, but secure and happy in themselves men have already been snapped up.

So I think in the mean time, I will date, and perhaps have a baby by myself in a couple of years, and see if I can find a really good man later on in life. I know that the girl who's now with my ex husband is a very lucky woman indeed.

catriona79

Rebecca01 wrote: »

Hi Catriona.

I have just read your diary. I just wanted to say well done on how far you have come. You have given me hope as I have been divorced, left with nothing just debt and I am restarting. You have showed this is possible.

I am only a year younger than you but you seem to have achieved quite quickly. So Thank you for your diary I have loved reading about your adventures and ideas.


You should be proud what you have achieved with your house.

Dear Rebecca,

Thank you for such a sweet message. I'm not sure that I deserve such praise though! I think it's harder now than when I was starting out, because house prices have gone up. But it can all be done, just doesn't happen overnight.

I broke up from my ex husband in Nov 2009, went on to live with a friend for 18 months while saving furiously. My ex gave me 16k out of our old house and I used that and my savings plus a some gifts from parents (small sums) to buy and restore a house. I bought at a time when you could take your time to think about your options. I didn't pay the full asking price , got an £8k discount. Then I redecorated it and had a hell of a time. Character building empowering too!

My husband was very sensible with money (I was always the bigger risk taker) and was in no debt, my debt is all of my own making. House mostly, but also treating myself.

So, as you can see, I've made some bad decisions and some better ones. It's taken me 6 years to go from nothing to where I am now (and that's still a precarious place) and I believe will take me another year before I am secure. And I'll bet life will throw me a few lemons too, so who knows!

All I had is a plan and determination. Even that faltered regularly, but on the better days I picked myself up. We are all only human and things happen to us, or people that we are close to, and those things have impact on our lives. But you don't have to be a superwoman to do it, just be kind to yourself and give yourself some time to do it in.

Sending hugs x