Someone else's twins.

Faith177

Spacker as many others have said what an amazing thing you and your parents have done for those children!

It sounds like you have done/are doing an amazing job with them.

I would certainly start keeping a diary of when the parents show up.

Have you though about contacting BAAF British Association of Adoption & Fostering http://www.baaf.org.uk/about. I don't know if they could help but might be able to point you in the right direction they have a section on Kinship care

looby75

You might want to look into something called special guardianship. A friend of mine has special guardianship of 3 of her grandchildren, the mother isn't fit to look after them due to mental health problems and one by one they have all ended up living with my friend.

From what I understand it as close to adoption you can get without the parents giving consent but without the long drawn out legal process of the courts deciding the children are to but put up for adoption.

I think you are going to have to get legal advice on the situation, you may be able to get help with legal aid to do this though if you are on a low income.

Spacker

Have just read the Special Guardianship process from the link Faith177 posted - thanks guys, sounds like a great start to getting these kids some stability and protection from their idiot parents, well that father at least.

Thanks to everyone who replied, very much appreciated!

jillie1974

so, are your parents the foster carers? and the children have lived there for 5 years?
and SS or any other organisation have never been to check on the children?
does the mother see the children at all?

Spacker

My parents are the home owners and took the kids in, I do all the school runs, etc. Nothing official has ever been signed that we care for them. The boy we took home from the hospital and his sister came to us shortly before her third birthday (effectively due to neglect).

Social came twice about two years ago to check out the house and see where they were living but we've had no other contact with them at all.

The mother tries to visit once a week, when she does come she sits around watching them play but almost no interaction whatsoever. The kids have grown apart from their natural parents, my mum they call 'mama'

jillie1974 wrote: »

so, are your parents the foster carers? and the children have lived there for 5 years?
and SS or any other organisation have never been to check on the children?
does the mother see the children at all?

lolly_896

I also would like to reiterate what everybody else has said! Well done for giving the children a home.

Im completely shocked that you have had no SS support, financial support etc.

Do you have Parental Consent? - how did you give the children their inoculations etc without that? what about schooling and trips and things? Passports and Birth Certificates? Are the children on the At risk register?

http://www.childrenneedfamilies.co.uk/ They seem to have a telephone helpline
xxx

sparrer

I really have nothing to add, all the advice given here so far has been covered well and sensibly. I would just like to thank you for all you and your parents have done for the twins, it's people like you who restore my faith in humanity. Good luck in securing the legal rights of their residency, and in obtaining the financial help you deserve and are rightly entitled to

mrsj28

marisco wrote: »

Read the above again and ask yourself if social services would allow such an individual to take the children out of your care and to be placed with him. It sounds as if he can barely look after himself, let alone be responsible for two young children. They are thriving and settled where they are. Your family and yourself are doing an incredible job and those children are extremely lucky to be with you. Any move away from your family would have to be seen to be in the best interests of the children. Which anyone can see would not be the case if the father took them on. He shows an incredible level of arrogance to not accept that fact and to be effectively trying to manipulate and worry you by suggesting this.

You know the father, I use that term extremely loosely when describing this man, best of course and if you feel threatened by his suggestions then contact social services and see what they say. I would be surprised if they didn't tell you to ignore his threats and then helped you establish much more structured access to the children. For him to float in and out of their lives as it suits him, normally when he is on his uppers, is not good for their wellbeing.

I agree with the above, but just re: the bit in bold. It's really important to get some kind of legal structure in place (I'm not the right person to advise on it, but there are lots of good suggestions already on the thread). At the moment, whilst the children's birth father is clearly not the right person for them to be with, there is nothing legally in place to stop him from taking them into his care (although I imagine you and your parents would put up a pretty good fight!) This would undoubtedly raise alarm bells with social services, and I'd hope they would be removed pretty quick and placed back with your parents, but there would be processes to get through to make sure this happened, and it would be very distressing for all concerned. Once a proper legal structure is in place, be that residency, special guardianship, fostering, adoption, etc... you have something to fall back on in case the father does try to follow through with the threat of taking them away.

As others have said, your family have done a wonderful thing for these kids

Angel777

Hi, I dont really know anything about the laws on this but i just wanted to say ...If only there were more people like you out there.

I truly hope that you manage to get some kind of legal rights for these children. It obviously didnt work out for you in Egypt for this reason

Spacker

Thanks to the leads in here, which has also been a great place to vent my spleen about this we're going to the special guardianship route with view to adoption. Whilst we're in a positon to afford to pay for the kids needs any financial income from the government for the kids will go into a trust account for them to use later in life - I suspect it will come in handy!

marisco - I agree, social won't release them to him but I don't believe there is anything to stop him from taking them away even for short periods. He has threatened and we have called his bluff on it, although if he called our bluff on calling his bluff, well I'm not sure what would have happened!!

To everyone who has commented like

Angel777 - 'If only there were more people like you out there.' -

And mrsj28 - 'your family have done a wonderful thing for these kids'

Thank you but it's dismaying to think that what we are doing is not the norm - it really should be because it is, at least what I regard, the normal reaction to this sort of situation

Thanks again everyone. From someone very naive about this sort of thing the info is very much appreciated.