Someone else's twins.

Spacker

Thanks for the links will chase this up now.

As for the father, well, it was a, err, small run in with him this morning when I caught him eating the kids ice cream that prompted this post and action.

RuthnJasper wrote: »

What an amazing thing you have done for these precious children. Their "parents" may have physically created them - but you have given them lives and a future.

Have you thought about applying to adopt them? It doesn't take a genius to ponder what might happen if these kids are ever returned to their biological "parents"?

Have a look on here: http://www.adoption.org.uk/information/adoption_law.html, here:
http://www.baaf.org.uk/res/law,
or - especially - here:
https://www.gov.uk/child-adoption/overview

This would give you - and the children - more security, stability and peace of mind. You are a more loving parent to them than anyone else they will have known. You may also then be able to exercise control over what their ne'er-do-well father does - it can't be helpful to have him coming and going as he pleases.

Very best wishes to you and the children - I hope all turns out well. x

RuthnJasper

Spacker wrote: »

Never thought of this. Thank you, will give a call today and see if they have any view on it.

By the way, one of the few little bits of trivia I know is where the term 'Sweet FA' comes from! Shocking history if you don't know!

I live just down the road from where the poor "sweet FA" passed her short life and have a local history book about it. Very interesting, but shocking as you say - and terribly tragic. x

MentalMinnie

Firstly, well done on doing something so amazing for these children!

So, do you have a residency order, something from the courts to say you have a legal right to have the children? Get on to this NOW! Once you've sorted this, you then need to contact the benefits people and report the mother for fraudulent claims. Then apply for the benefits yourself.

It's imperitive that you get legal assistance on this!

19lottie82

A hurdle I can see you encountering is that the mother will prob be unwilling to sign the kids over, if it means losing her benefits.....

Spacker

To my knowledge social services have never been to our house to check up on the kids. I suspect, since we're not asking for money to look after them they don't want to rock the boat.

I'd thought of a diary, made a few entries but kept forgetting it. Thanks for the reminder and reinforcing the idea.


Edit- apologies - two different ladies arrived to check things out. We showed them the kids rooms, had a small chat and they left. That was about 2yrs ago.

balletshoes wrote: »

Are social work still involved with both of these children? That would be my first port of call, to see what they think of the idea of you or your parents adopting the twins.

Also, if you haven't already, start a diary, logging each time each of the parents come to visit, how long they stay, what they actually do as far as interacting with the children. If either of them make plans to visit and then don't, log that too.

It sounds clinical, but its necessary, for the continued welfare of the twins. You need to think about whats best for them, and so do all the other adults involved in this situation.

Spacker

That's one of the main worries

19lottie82 wrote: »

A hurdle I can see you encountering is that the mother will prob be unwilling to sign the kids over, if it means losing her benefits.....

Spacker

Nope, no residency order. Never heard of one!! Thank you!

MentalMinnie wrote: »

Firstly, well done on doing something so amazing for these children!

So, do you have a residency order, something from the courts to say you have a legal right to have the children? Get on to this NOW! Once you've sorted this, you then need to contact the benefits people and report the mother for fraudulent claims. Then apply for the benefits yourself.

It's imperitive that you get legal assistance on this!

Joons

Just reiterate what has been said and congratulations for being such a fantastic human being!

rpc

Social services should have sorted this when they asked you/parents to look after the children IMHO. You may want to find Mooloo and her threads - she is guardian for one of her grandchildren (not sure the exact legal arrangement, but it did finally get formalised I think).

Personally, I would go for the fostering/adoption/whatever first and then benefits after. You are entitled to the benefits, but I would avoid stirring that nest until you have some legal security.

Call NSPCC, then I would go to social services. These children are probably still on the Child Protection register so they still have responsibilities.

Gizmo111 might be a useful person to get in touch with too, if they are still on here.

marisco_2

Spacker wrote: »

In late 2007 a step uncle's very casual 'girlfriend' gave birth to twins. He is a drug user, no real home etc.

The father, the alcoholic drug user used to turn up once a week or so to sleep in a spare room when he'd run out of his weeks money. He does nothing for his kids, doesn't take them anywhere, play with them or buy them presents or food.

My problem is that the we have no legal custody of the children. We let the father come and go as he wants for the kids sake, he's threatened to take them away more than once and that would not be in their best interest. What do I do?

Read the above again and ask yourself if social services would allow such an individual to take the children out of your care and to be placed with him. It sounds as if he can barely look after himself, let alone be responsible for two young children. They are thriving and settled where they are. Your family and yourself are doing an incredible job and those children are extremely lucky to be with you. Any move away from your family would have to be seen to be in the best interests of the children. Which anyone can see would not be the case if the father took them on. He shows an incredible level of arrogance to not accept that fact and to be effectively trying to manipulate and worry you by suggesting this.

You know the father, I use that term extremely loosely when describing this man, best of course and if you feel threatened by his suggestions then contact social services and see what they say. I would be surprised if they didn't tell you to ignore his threats and then helped you establish much more structured access to the children. For him to float in and out of their lives as it suits him, normally when he is on his uppers, is not good for their wellbeing.