How long did you wait to tell people about your pregnacy?

snozberry

I told my OH about thirty seconds after I took a test. I then told a few close work colleagues when I was about six weeks as I felt truly dreadful. I told a few more later as we had a measles scare and I panicked. Family were told the evening of my 12 week scan.

notanewuser

We told parents and siblings after a (private) early scan at 8 weeks. Until then the pregnancy wasn't real to me and I didn't want to have lots of people to tell if it went wrong somewhere down the line.

My best friend guessed the following weekend.

I told my boss after the 12 week scan.

Grandparents and aunties/uncles etc found out after the (private) nuchal scan at 16 weeks.

Although my bump was enormous and everyone at work knew, I didn't inform formally until week 25. I found all the H&S stuff very invasive.

My cousin's partner announced their pregnancy at 3 weeks on Facebook. They are now (fortunately) at 12 weeks.

claire16c

notanewuser wrote: »

We told parents and siblings after a (private) early scan at 8 weeks. Until then the pregnancy wasn't real to me and I didn't want to have lots of people to tell if it went wrong somewhere down the line.

My best friend guessed the following weekend.

I told my boss after the 12 week scan.

Grandparents and aunties/uncles etc found out after the (private) nuchal scan at 16 weeks.

Although my bump was enormous and everyone at work knew, I didn't inform formally until week 25. I found all the H&S stuff very invasive.

My cousin's partner announced their pregnancy at 3 weeks on Facebook. They are now (fortunately) at 12 weeks.

Do you think they were actually 5 weeks as not sure how you would know at 7 days after ovulation? Ive known a couple of people to announce it on facebook too when its been quite early although generally it seems to be with a photo at 12 weeks.


DH was with me when I did the test at 4 weeks then I told my parents and my sister.

Then between 6-9 weeks I told a few people at work and a few friends, then a couple more friends at 11 weeks.

Then just under 12 weeks we had the scan and it was a mmc. We then ended up telling pretty much everyone. And it made it worse that some of them didnt know I was pregnant so I had to tell them both things in the same conversation which wasnt nice.

So next time I will probably tell everyone from around 6 weeks.

nottslass_2

I told DP 8 days post embryo Transfer when I got a BFP after IVF, My Mum,2 days later and everyone else who knew we'd had treatment as soon as we saw them.

I really don't understand the whole wait 12 weeks thing,"just in case something goes wrong." A MC is not some dirty little secret that should be hidden,meaning the poor parents have to go grieve alone & without support just because they upset or embarrass somebody.

Kayalana99

Its each to thier own. If I was to MC I would just want to hide away - if I told everyone I was pregnat only to miscarry I would want to put it to back of my mind and get on with things & not talk about it. Just my way of dealing with things...cant stand everyone asking if I am ok as just brings painful memories back again that said I would rather them not know even now if I had an MC.

notanewuser

nottslass wrote: »

I told DP 8 days post embryo Transfer when I got a BFP after IVF, My Mum,2 days later and everyone else who knew we'd had treatment as soon as we saw them.

I really don't understand the whole wait 12 weeks thing,"just in case something goes wrong." A MC is not some dirty little secret that should be hidden,meaning the poor parents have to go grieve alone & without support just because they upset or embarrass somebody.

For me I couldn't have told my parents and sister without DH being able to tell his parents and siblings. His family is bigger, so just that would have been 8 people told on his side to my 4.

Of course miscarriage isn't shameful, but I would not have wanted 8 of DH's family wanting to know how I was and offering sympathy. I would have wanted that pain to be private, but I understand that others wouldn't.

notanewuser

A dear friend "miscarried" at 25 weeks last year. It's unlikely we'll have another child but if we do, I don't think I'd tell anybody until I'd given birth!!

dizziblonde

I never wanted the "oh I was pregnant but miscarried it" conversation. I'd always rather have the conversations split in two.

First successful pregnancy my mother actually texted me on a bad day and asked how I was to get the reply "well I WAS pregnant but I'm bleeding again so think I've lost another one" - wasn't the planned way of announcing that one and things turned out OK-ish in the end (via NICU and the hospital stay from hell).

Second time we did decide to tell families from the outset for the reason I've mentioned before - parents are coming toward the end of a heavy year of public engagements and we needed them to prime their deputies that they might need to step up and fill in for some of them if we needed them at short notice - so did as much warning as possible - even though we'd broken the news with a "not sure if it's viable yet - but I'm pregnant again" type line.

I guess I could be slightly more confident in a way as because of the prior losses (including missed miscarriages which are a really crappy trick nature has in their repertoire) I get scanned from very early on throughout the first trimester every week, so we'd had confirmed heartbeats and the like from as early as possible.

I'd quite like to have not told hubby's family as soon - but in the interests of fairness this wasn't really an option.

pigpen

nottslass wrote: »

I told DP 8 days post embryo Transfer when I got a BFP after IVF, My Mum,2 days later and everyone else who knew we'd had treatment as soon as we saw them.

I really don't understand the whole wait 12 weeks thing,"just in case something goes wrong." A MC is not some dirty little secret that should be hidden,meaning the poor parents have to go grieve alone & without support just because they upset or embarrass somebody.

Because you encounter people in life (like my mother) who say oh shut up is wasn't anything it was only a miscarriage grow up and get a grip.. then next time being screamed at down the phone the afternoon I got home from the hospital havig had an ERPC because I said I didn't feel up to collecting my sisters from school.

MC is a fairly taboo subject and if anyone even thought about saying 'oh well it was probably for the best' to me I would rip off their limbs and beat them to death with them. There isn't any sympathy or kindness it is an 'oh sorry to hear that' if you are lucky then you are expected to get on as normal. It is pretty hard telling people you have mc'd because you are upset and angry and don't want to talk about it or keep going over and over with numerous people.

Sometimes fellow humans disgust me.. so I keep MY business to myself.

dundeediva

I told OH within 10 seconds of the BFP, had this lovely romantic idea all thought through of buying him little babygro and giving it to him but in the end i screamed and he came running and I blurted it out lol!

Told my mum (who then told my bro and sis) within an hour of BFP (very close to my mum).

Told MIL and FIL the day after, very good friends after 5 weeks, grandparents at 8 weeks. everyone else got told after scan at 12 weeks.

I think its a very personal thing. I would have wanted my nearest and dearest to support us if i did have a MC so we made the decision to tell some people early. I am so glad I did, and luckily I am now 34 weeks with my first

Congrats btw x