DMP & Mutual Support Thread - Part 9

catandy

Still_skint wrote: »

Could you go down the IVA route ? That way all your debts would be paid after 5 years. If you have so little free income then they can only take what you have.

was told not to look at an IVA as I'm self employed and income very unpredictable hence went with the DMP for the informality of it all. I think I need to speak with StepChange again...

thankyou for the suggestion

Find_The_Real

Hello Catandy

Sorry to hear about your news and thinking of you. As you have mentioned your ex has moved out have you checked that you are now not entitled to more benefits. May be an idea to check out this website

http://www.turn2us.org.uk/benefits_search.aspx

Also if you are struggling but not wanting to go down the formal insolvency route, is there any chance of looking perhaps for something else part time elsewhere, or if your youngest leaving college soon can get something to help out. I know not it is not ideal as I've done the 2 jobs thing but it's just something maybe to look at if you are thinking to trying to boost your income instead. Another thought is although self-employed, are there any employed jobs out there which may pay more and have a more stable income?

Have a moan as much as you want as it sounds like you are going through a horrible time and I am sure we are all thinking of you. I am sure a solution will be found in the near future.

antonic

Checked my Payplan account this morning , and in the creditors section where once there were 4, there are now .... NONE !!.

However, I am still not going to call myself DF until they confirm it !

keepingcalm

antonic wrote: »

Checked my Payplan account this morning , and in the creditors section where once there were 4, there are now .... NONE !!.

However, I am still not going to call myself DF until they confirm it !

Well done:j.

dmb_2

antonic wrote: »

Checked my Payplan account this morning , and in the creditors section where once there were 4, there are now .... NONE !!.

However, I am still not going to call myself DF until they confirm it !

Congratulations! what a wonderful sight for sore eyes. Enjoy your debt free future:)

Hopelessly_Hopeful

antonic wrote: »

Checked my Payplan account this morning , and in the creditors section where once there were 4, there are now .... NONE !!.

However, I am still not going to call myself DF until they confirm it !

Well done Antonic. You will have to start accepting this at some point!!! :j:j:j

HHx

Still_skint

antonic wrote: »

Checked my Payplan account this morning , and in the creditors section where once there were 4, there are now .... NONE !!.

However, I am still not going to call myself DF until they confirm it !

Must be a great feeling. Well done ! Do you have any advice for those who are just starting out ?

csan

Hi, am new to the site but relieved that it exists as none of my friends or family know of my situation so it is good to be able to share in a place where nobody judges and were I can get advice based on experiences of others.

I left my partner in 2010 and relocated with my young twins back to where my family lives. Whilst establishing the children in school I reluctantly drew benefits and had to continue doing so when I then became a full time carer for my mum who was terminally ill and was therefore not able to get a job.

Relocating left me with debt of £16,000 (incl £5000 studnt loan which have never earnt enough to pay off) as I took nothing from my partner in terms of house, furniture etc so had to start again.

Since my mum died last year my debts have increased to £24,000 as I readily admit that I have tried to fill the empty space she left behind with 'stuff' and retail therapy..Momentary lift then guilty and depressed!

I had a lightbulb moment last Christmas and did the whole balance transfer, 0 percent, budgeting, utilities- new deals, low rate loan the whole shabang but now it is all spiralling and causing me huge anxiety as it didn't curb my spending. I relied on credit to help fill the shortfall and now my monthly repayments leave me even shorter and in a constant state of panic.

My expartner who contributes monthly to his kids has been made redundant so this has made me even more nervous that if I lose his money that I will no longer be able to keep the wolves from the door.

I work three days a week and am studying so that I can increase my hours to full time eventually but I am also a carer now for my dad as well as looking after the kids and feel run ragged as it is - just feel mentally and emotionally exhausted!!

Stepchange have suggested a DMP so I would love to know what people think about these. To date I have always managed to pay creditors and not been pursued for payment so I feel nervous that it may be taken out of my hands and I be pursued but then better that be under a DMP than because I can no longer make the payments right?

After my mum died my dad discovered she'd had debts and not told him and although they were resolved i.e I sent letters off and they wrote the debt off - my dad was so judgemental and critical of her/nasty which upset me hugely because she only ever spent the money on her family and trying to do her best for us.

My dad has enough savings to easily cover my debt yet having seen his reaction to my mum I would rather take the DMP course as I cant bare living with his disapproval and disappointment and he'd never let me forget if I told him and he bailed me out!
It makes me so sad that my mum - the one person who would have understood and not judged me is no longer here to confide in and that she too could not confide in me - I know her loneliness now.

My expartner and I always fought over money and our different priorities - he would take me out for massively expensive lunches yet in the next breath have a go at me for re-heating my coffee in the microwave and how extravagant and wasteful this was.

I am desperate to create financial stability and freedom for myself and my children but also want to be rid of this feeling that I am a bad person - somehow tainted... feel like who would want to be with me when I have this debt? - this dirty secret?- because that is what it feels like . I cannot think of a new relationship as how could I tell them about my debts and them not run a mile?

Anyway hopefully Stepchange will help me and I will get fulltime work soon and some energy from somewhere.

All advice and relaying of experience would be gratefully appreicated.!!

x

2spicy

First of all, DO NOT PANIC !!.

Rule .1 Your entitled to have enough money to live, so for the moment forget all your creditors.
Rule.2 You can only pay back what you can afford AFTER you have deducted your cost of living.

Ok, lets focus on you for starters.

Your not a bad person for falling into debt, in fact far from it as you have identified you have a problem and are looking for a way to resolve it.
A lot of us have debts we keep from families / friends etc so your not alone.

Right. Debts

Ok, where do I start ??
If you have worked out a SOA (Statement of Affairs) with StepChange, you know your current income / expenditure and should have an idea of how long it will take to repay your debts at your current level of income. - This is good!.

We were skeptical about starting a DMP and like many others, found solace here. There is a huge resource of knowledge and good advice just waiting to be tapped and were not judgemental. Some of us are in it for the long haul, others for a lot less time, but our goal at the end of the day is "debt freedom".

So... if the figures stack up, and a DMP has been recommended to you, I would say "GO FOR IT"! its a long hard slog, but you will see your debts reduce month on month.
Most creditors will either reduce interest or stop interest. some may issue a default (this isnt a bad thing, and the sooner you have defaults issued, then the sooner they are cleared from your credit file, and the sooner the interest is stopped)

Personally, going on a DMP was the best thing we have done. No credit cards, no worrying about money, its all in black and white and as long as you stick to the figures, youll be on your way to a better life.

Maybe once your established on a DMP, it might be time to speak to your father, show him you made a mistake, and show him your learning and taking steps to get out of debt.

Lastly, dont be a stranger, any questions, feel free to post.. feeling down, post up, there will always be someone that can give you advice.

Well done for being here.

2spicy

One last thing, when you do work out your SOA, remember, even if you donot have pets / weekly haircuts etc, allocate money to them. That way you can use that to either build up a little reserve, or a "slush fund" to remind yourself your still human with the odd bottle of wine / or icecream for the kids.