oh my life...... Light Bulb moment.

foxgloves

Hi Mimi,
Oh my days, you are sounding so determined! Brilliant stuff! Loved that you put those things back in the shop. That 'smug git feeling', you will get used to that. You will find lots more little incidences of it as you go forward with your money makeover. I experienced one this morning when we parked on the outskirts of town & walked in, which saved £2-60 in parking fees & meant that I have exceeded my steps target on my fitbit today too. Small things add up.
Re the pusses. We only have 1 (2 adults & 1 cat household) but we do include all the food in our £200 to £250 a month grocery budget. Swapping to Wilko's for boxes of meat helps (as previously discussed - so you have a fussy little jelly-licker too....grrr!) but we are at an advantage in that we don't need to buy cat litter. Our cat comes & goes via his cat flap day & night, so goes outside for ablutions (we have a large garden) & we would only buy cat litter in a vet emergency sort of situation if he needed to be kept indoors. I can imagine that having to buy it regularly can mount up in cost.
Now.....skin care. Oh, that is a weakness of mine. I fully admit this & think it's the chink in my frugal armour. Years back before the LBM, I practically lived at a certain brand's counter (think of the one that sounds like 'clinic' but pronounced with a French accent). I have kep a journal for lots of my adult life & reading back over some of the entries during my Spendy Decades, there are lots that go something like this...."Really worried about my money. Need a massively tight month to try & claw things back or am worried my cards will be stopped". There would then follow 2 days of entries where I'd be doing sums, making inventories of the freezer & pantry & refusing invites to go out.......then the next day's entry would detail a city centre trip where I'd been tempted by a skincare offer & come home with a right old haul of goodies I didn't really need & definitely couldn't afford! So I have down-branded. I still love skincare. My skin is pretty good for a child of '64 & I don't intend to become a wrinkly old prune anytime yet. So I tried lots of different things in cheaper price ranges & am currently in love with the Body Shop's 'Oils of life' range. At £26 for a pot of moisturiser, this is not something i can buy lightly. I sometimes ask for skincare box sets for my birthday or Christmas (often better value than buying each product individually) & my goodness, I eek that stuff out like it's a precious elixir. Luckily Body Shop do a loyalty card, so when I get vouchers from that, I use it to reduce price of my skincare. I've reduced everything else right down. Instead of foundation from my pre-LBM brand of choice' I've discovered an Avon one that I like just as much. That's often on offer at half price (£6.50) so I only buy it then. Make-up (which I wear virtually every day) is now from Barry M or Rimmel as I quite like that I am buying British brands. I would describe nice skincare as my most luxury treat, really, but I have defo cut down on other toiletries......am currently using Superdrug's own label intensive vitamin E body moisturiser......large tub, cheap price, often on offer & it's lasting absolutely ages. I don't think I'll go back to more expensive brands of that unless for a treat or a gift (or our income miraculously alters!)
So I suppose what I'm saying in a chatty roundabout way is that for me, it's been worth reducing my spend on beauty products I use regularly but am not so bothered about to help maintain being able to buy a skincare range I really love. I should add that if our financial situation worsened, I would reduce my skincare down to something cheaper. I wince when I read my old journals & see how much money I used to waste.
Anyway, enough of my woffle, Do keep up the good work. Our debt was around £30 k at its worst, but our financial attitude was kind of worse than the debt itself, really, so irresponsible. When I was also working, our combined income back then was over £56 k, but we never had any money because we wasted so much. I try not to dwell on how much we could have saved if we'd have had the LBM earlier, but it's fairly pointless fretting about past behaviour I can't change. I hope I will never go back to that way of thinking. I think I have well & truly re-fashioned my spending habits (with the odd blip now & again, we're only human!) which proves it can be done.
But do nurture that 'smug git' feeling. We did our final grocery shop of September's budget this morning & shared a little bit of an SG moment when we came in at 37p under budget for the month, as our grocery spend had been creeping up a little recently. Have put more time into meal planning this month & compiled my shopping lists much more carefully, so it must have paid off.
You can do this!
Best wishes,
F x

EssexHebridean

Ah I wondered with that water cost whether you were in the South west - that makes sense then!

On the makeup/skincare front - question a little whether it is you saying it's "not optional" or society's decree - I'm mid 40's and try to work on the basis of "less is more" - I love Olay's 7 Signs moisturiser with a touch of foundation for example - and it actually suits my skin a lot better than the Clinique stuff I used in a previous life! I do still use Clinique powder - but always request it as a christmas or birthday present. Maybelline Great Lash mascara is fab and only £4.99 a tube. Look for a "brand drop" on everything you use is a good starting point on this one.

Foxgloves you made me laugh - we used to have a mostly outdoors cat who would invariably come inside to use the little tray, then happily leave again! :rotfl:

MiMi66

:rotfl:Oh heavens Foxgloves - I know that journal feeling - I am decluttering as you know, and have just come across the journals detailing my life through marriage breakdown, divorce. trying to date in the early years and then giving up and DEBT growth, freakouts and stuff it under the rug behaviour. I have put the said journals aside and I am going to light the fire tonight and read a little and burn a lot. They are full of woe. I'll try to take some good lessons from the bits I read but I don't think it is any good keeping this stuff - if I were to die I don't think my children would have happier lives or be consoled by my miserable entries. The debt stuff is classic 'how to grow your debt in denial' 101.

Makeup and face care - years ago I used to be a front of the department store beauty buyer, but over the years I have become more natural and organic and now vegan - it is an added complication but not insurmountable as many small producers make vegan products - it just means a bit of a hunt for best value etc. My weakness has been subscriptions boxes - 4 of them - all cancelled now. I think I will be able to buy in a more planned fashion, just the basic of skin care and a little bit of makeup - as I mentioned I am not a full war paint woman. But definitely my area of vulnerability.... I have no need to get anything for months :-)

Being a 'plant based diet' person has been good for me - I wouldn't say I am the full on vegan of vegans but near enough - no milk or dairy, no eggs and no meat of fish. Honey some time creeps into prepared food like a snack bar but there are many options now around. My daughter and mother are both vegan as well but my son is not. He is the most unhealthiest of us all - hysterical really when you see the flack vegans get on social media. Love him dearly though, as my little carnivore, and am happy to feed him what ever he wants to eat. We do manage to work our meals quite well and fortunately he likes Japanese food - tonight we are having fried tofu in a mirin sauce with vegetables. Tofu and things like that are generally cheaper than a meat option. Other nights I will do something to a chicken breast for him (!) while I will have a meal that I will have made to last several days vege lasagna or such. Other days - pasta days - we are on the same page with pesto and vegetables. He'll have a bacon sandwich sometimes and I will have (like today) a muffin toasted and spread with dairy free cream 'cheese', and a fig sliced thinly over the top - delicious :-)

Back to work this week and out with the lunch box for me - humus and vegetable wraps and nuts and seeds, and my son has sandwiches by and large, ham and salad.


I sold a sat nav today - got bartered down for a Garmin to £12.50 but I thought better to sell it that not and sending off an old iPhone 5 to music magpie for £67.70 - I wonder if they will honour their quote.


I am just going to get some flea and worm meds for the cats - all prepaid for on my cover for them - and if time later I will list those Balance Transfers and expiry dates.

Oh and cat food - I got whisk** yesterday for my traitorous downwardly mobile slumming cats - at £3 a box - they are happy - McDona**'s for cats. I am not going to even share how much I have spent in the past on cat food - great healthy contents for them, but they have adapted well tot his change that my son instigated while I was in hospital - needless to say they love him for it.

Its pouring with rain here - Essex Hebridean - and water water everywhere and SW Water still will charge like a wounded bull - its the beaches they tell us and sewage costs - hmmmmm - do people in the south west make more 'sewage' than people in other parts of the country?? Don't answer that! And one of my cats definitely comes back inside to go to the litter tray - and bless her - uses the toilet itself sometimes - that's a Burmese for you - bright but daft all at once.

Back to work here.....

sourcrates

Absolutely nothing at all wrong with been a carnivore...........he says munching on his bacon sandwich !!!!!:drool:

HairyHandofDartmoor

The water bills in the SW infuriate me too, not fair at all especially when we get such a lot of rain :mad:.

Great news about selling the sat nav and hope you get the right money for the phone. It all helps. Good that the cats have tolerated a food downgrade, animals can be just as fussy as us humans .

Magpie100

Hello again, MiMi,

You really are making good progress! I think it is very interesting that although you are facing the short sharp shock of the reality of your situation you are using that to motivate yourself in to a plan. Antidepressants do of course have their place, but as you say, you need to be alert to your situation before you can deal with it.

It is fantastic to have raised the ££ you have in selling things – you need to keep going to get you through October which as you have noted will be very tight for you. But you can do it. I also like your budgeting app strategy – I use my Mondo account on my phone in a similar way – it stops me deluding myself in to thinking I have loads of money for my discretionary spends – I don’t. I am a nightmare for ‘forgetting’ about direct debits that in the back of my mind I KNOW still have to come out of my account. So for me moving my spending money over to an app and card which updates the second I spend anything really helps me.

So this week is payday for you which I hope will give you a psychological lift after the slog of the last few weeks.

I was going to say I was sorry to hear about your tears re your daughter and Occ. Health. I am sorry, of course, but also I think sometimes tears are therapeutic and sometimes you just have to embrace them. Being sad at your daughter going or feeling a bit emotional when you are discussing your health is NORMAL. Not if it goes on for weeks and months, of course, but just for now, it is.

As Foxgloves said it is great that you put the things back in the shop! A real sign of progress and I hope you can continue to keep an eye out for easy wins. Some days will really test you in that regard, but others will provide plenty of rich pickings.

I am DELIGHTED that you already consider yourself to be on a DMP. I think that is exactly the right mindset. This way you can take a few months to learn what does and doesn’t work in your budget – areas where you are always over or under spending. You are already working to improve your situation and to give yourself some more knowledge about what does and doesn’t work for you. After all, this is a Debt Management Plan, and who better to manage you than yourself?

I hope the return to work is ok and perhaps allows you to start thinking about things outside of money. You have had some excellent advice on make-up, cat food and household budgeting, I can see!

And yes, get on top of the HIVE situation as soon as you can. Think of the app as a money-saving device rather than a thermostat. That’s what I do.

Let us know what challenges await this week when you can.

M100

EssexHebridean

I was told that part of the issue with higher water bills in the south west is all the second homers and holidaymakers who shower in the morning, then again after swimming, then again before going out in the evening...Ggggrrrr!!!

Mimi good plan to burn those journals - as you say they're not adding value to your life now and definitely not something those left behind would need to see if anything happened to you.

MiMi66

Hi All, and Magpie - I was really curious about your app after what you wrote - I shall have a look at that! Mine doesn't update unless I specifically put the amount in....room for error.

I use my Mondo account on my phone in a similar way – it stops me deluding myself in to thinking I have loads of money for my discretionary spends – I don’t. I am a nightmare for ‘forgetting’ about direct debits that in the back of my mind I KNOW still have to come out of my account. So for me moving my spending money over to an app and card which updates the second I spend anything really helps me.


I am low in mood, but still finding that taking a action a day is helping - today I have sold a board game on Amazon - £2.98 profit after Amazon take their cut and postage paid for and a lady coming to pick up a cake box for £2 this afternoon - so it is all in the right direction. £4.98 I didn't have yesterday. And my phone is unlocked and has gone off to Music Magpie today - as mention before I so hope they keep to their end of the deal.

Budgeting is going pretty well - payday tomorrow - whew whew whew.... Out of my budget this week I have bought my nieces birthday gist and will post that tomorrow - overseas - I looked on line and saw the postage will be about £8.70 - I had some packing materials at home so that isn't an added cost. I bought her a little 2 piece outfit from Sainsburys - 25% off and it is sweet enough for an 11 year old to like I think.

So the blasted balance transfers....I am grateful for them and exasperated that I was given such a lot of credit access....anyway - no intention to ever increase them, but I do acknowledge I cannot pay of the balances by their expiry date so am in the move balance transfer cycle....

Balance transfers

Provider - Balance / Payment / Expiry date of 0%
M&S - 437 / 200 / 16/2/18
Halifax - 2764 / 120 / 03/09/18
Halifax - 1468 / / 04/04/18
M&S - 3807 / / 16/06/18
M&S - 2058 / / 16/07/18
Nationwide - 4979 / 75 / 03/11/18
Virgin - 7118 / 71 / 06/04/19
Halifax - 2987 / / 06/08/19
Halifax - 2266 / / 06/03/19


I've done the Halifax ones and M&S ones in order of repayment - which is based on age of the credit arrangement - oldest ones get paid first, rather than the in order of expiry date.

I guess my big question is - what do I move and when?

The Nationwide loan is being repaid at £255 per month and is going steadily down. To be honest I am good with loan and mortgage repayment - it has been the balance transfers and access to 'easish' credit that has done for me.... The loan has come down from £14950 to £9870 over the last 19 months or so.

I have two BT offers in right now - M&S 0% for 20 months and I have about £3000 that I can access to transfer into there until the 5th October
Tesco cc is offering me 0% on BT until Dec 2018 offer available until 6th October. I cannot remember my limit on this card - I think it is about £6 -7000 and there is no balance on it at the moment. This is the offer I am thinking of using - while it is less time, the card is currently on £0 balance, and I don't want to really increase my M&S overall balance at present - I understand I think from reading that the moment you go over using 50% of credit available on a card, that it starts to flag on the credit system - I need to keep the )% coming a long as I can to get the balances down so really don't want to jeopardise that.

I also have Halifax offering me 4.9% for 60 months - but that is no use with the Halifax balances to transfer and I only have about £1200 I could use there anyway. I think they have offered me the 4.9% due to the high balance I have there at present - a bit of a warning sign I think?

So what to do? I could move the two first Halifax ones to Tesco - but it is 7 months too early - the first 0% expiry date doesn't run out til April and the one that is being paid off first doesn't run out til next Sept 2018! Or do I leave it alone and trust I might get more 0% offers closer to April?

It seems really unfair the way they allocate the payments - surely more ethical to pay off by expiry order rather than arrangement of credit date.

I will face the same issue with the other two Halifax balances in 2019, though if I moved the first two to Tesco (approx £4200 plus fee of 3%) - made payment there of 2% I think of balance as a minimum (about £100 per months), then the payment of £120 to Halifax would come off the larger Halifax BT due in 2019.

Good news in that in November the first of the M&S BT's will be completely repaid (I shall find that extra £37 from somewhere).

I hope I have explained this well enough and laid it our clearly - I am so grateful for learning about the expiry date vs age of credit arrangement and it impact on repayment order - which came from someone else thread - MSE Forums are a bit of a life saver aren't they.

Thoroughly depressed right in this moment looking at this - trying to not be overwhelmed - am going to post this and then go and post my parcels of sold things and get a grip!

Many thanks to all for advice on this bit of complexity.

MiMi66

Oh one up side - no overdraft - never used one except for a tiny overspend maybe once or twice in 25 years - for some reason I have always seen overdrafts as 'DEBT' but CC's as a weirdly different thing in my psyche.....odd isn't it - debt is debt is debt. But still - no overdraft:T

MiMi66

Magpie100 wrote: »

Hello again, MiMi,

You really are making good progress! I think it is very interesting that although you are facing the short sharp shock of the reality of your situation you are using that to motivate yourself in to a plan. Antidepressants do of course have their place, but as you say, you need to be alert to your situation before you can deal with it.

It is fantastic to have raised the ££ you have in selling things – you need to keep going to get you through October which as you have noted will be very tight for you. But you can do it. I also like your budgeting app strategy – I use my Mondo account on my phone in a similar way – it stops me deluding myself in to thinking I have loads of money for my discretionary spends – I don’t. I am a nightmare for ‘forgetting’ about direct debits that in the back of my mind I KNOW still have to come out of my account. So for me moving my spending money over to an app and card which updates the second I spend anything really helps me.

So this week is payday for you which I hope will give you a psychological lift after the slog of the last few weeks.

I was going to say I was sorry to hear about your tears re your daughter and Occ. Health. I am sorry, of course, but also I think sometimes tears are therapeutic and sometimes you just have to embrace them. Being sad at your daughter going or feeling a bit emotional when you are discussing your health is NORMAL. Not if it goes on for weeks and months, of course, but just for now, it is.

As Foxgloves said it is great that you put the things back in the shop! A real sign of progress and I hope you can continue to keep an eye out for easy wins. Some days will really test you in that regard, but others will provide plenty of rich pickings.

I am DELIGHTED that you already consider yourself to be on a DMP. I think that is exactly the right mindset. This way you can take a few months to learn what does and doesn’t work in your budget – areas where you are always over or under spending. You are already working to improve your situation and to give yourself some more knowledge about what does and doesn’t work for you. After all, this is a Debt Management Plan, and who better to manage you than yourself?

I hope the return to work is ok and perhaps allows you to start thinking about things outside of money. You have had some excellent advice on make-up, cat food and household budgeting, I can see!

And yes, get on top of the HIVE situation as soon as you can. Think of the app as a money-saving device rather than a thermostat. That’s what I do.

Let us know what challenges await this week when you can.

M100

Hi Magpie! Is the app called Mondo or Monzo? I just found Monzo only when I looked and gave now downloaded the app and ordered the prepaid card. However they say the is 48000 people in front of me waiting for a card so not sure how long that will take?

And Everyone else too. Sitting in my couch contemplating my debt and return to work this evening. I'm getting a real sense that the lovely group of people who are commenting regularly back to me and giving advice are people who have all had significantly heavy debt issues too. I find that really inspiring and reassuring that people get through this and have self respect and head held high. That's the impression I am getting. Hopefully this will be 'character building' for me.

Health wise I am still in post operative pain but it's nerve damage I think. Won't be helped being off work longer. So hope it settles.

Pay day tomorrow. 55 will turn into 54 repayment months - the various DDs go out over the first week of the month but mentally it feels like pay day it the point of achievement. It is probably a slight cheat but as I never miss my payments due to being set up with standing orders and DDs it feels safe to count the repayments from payday.

No news on a lodger as yet. I contact another health trust today so hopefully I might get someone through that avenue. I haven't quite finished my daughter's pack up - small chunks as I found it too sad. But if I can get the right sort of lodger it will be ok. Short term and someone who might go home on their days off. I'll give it a few weeks but if no luck shall look at other avenues.

Yes - self imposed DMP seems to be working. I feel that I would disappoint myself, my children and jeopardise too too much if I fail. And if I get off track I shall do a formal DMP and have to take it on the chin or sell up and rent next summer. Those are the two worse case scenarios and I can live with them, will be ashamed of myself but I will do it if need be. It would be nice to do that from a position of £30000 debt rather than £38000. That's my first goal.

I posted my niece's gift and the Amazon sale parcel. Phone has gone to Music Magpie so just wait for cash to come in now. Debt repayment seems to involve a lot of waiting.

Oh and those who are curious about my dating experience - I decided against seeing X again as he is just too far away. Hardly romantic but I can't afford a long distance dating get togethers or romance. So while not the right situation for me it was a good experience and reminded me how nice it is to be valued as a woman even if only for a meal out. I will make sure he knows he did me the world of good.

So open for dating but locally and very very cheaply. I remember in the past when I previously tried internet dating I would spend money I didn't have to get new clothes and a bit of glam makeup to make myself feel attractive. Needless to say I will not be doing that. Make do until I have no option but to replace clothes. And when I did spend money in titivating (!) myself up it never came to any good - pointless. It just has to be how I am now, a bit polished up but just me - 'I am not a gargoyle!'

I had a profile on a dating site recently - membership expired and can't afford to do that at this point, but I have had an email from someone I was in conversation with a while ago. We never met but he's suggested a walk and coffee and he knows I am a PCM (Poor Church Mouse). He looks lives locally. Hmmmmm - thinking about it. He seems to be a bit down on his luck as well, but maybe that is something in common for most 50 something single people. Divorce, job losses and debt. The great challenges of midlife.

I hope other people are finding some lessons it good ideas in my experiences - makes me feel less alone believing that - debt is isolating if you let it take over. And I don't want that for me or anyone really. We are all so much more that bad debtors.