DS wants a rat but his Dad has said no. WWYD?

LunaLady

My DS is nearly 12. I havent lived with my Ex-H for 4 years and he has been inconsistent with contact throughout that time

DS had a hamster which died last summer, he looked after it really well so I know he is responsible enough. I have said if he saves up his pocket money, then he can have one.

My Ex told DS that he isnt allowed one, because Ex thinks they are 'freaky' and that if he gets one he wont be taking DS on holiday this year (he has apparently arranged to take them away, but he said the same last year and nothing materialised)

I feel so cross and have told my Ex-h this. Its none of his business and DS has saved hard for the money to buy this, so I feel that within reason, he can spend it on what he likes.

WWYD?

claire16c

Does your son live with you?

If so, who cares what your ex thinks? Sounds like the holiday thing is an idle threat.

Id ignore him and let him get the rat if you are happy about it.

whitewing

I see no reason why DS can't have one at yours if you're happy.

19lottie82

I take it you don't live with his father (as he is your ex)?

If not, then I really fail to see what business of his it is.

Your time with your son, your decision.

Just get one and don't tell the ex, if you want to keep the peace.

LunaLady

Yes, DS lives with me.

One of the other things he said was 'this is what my maintenance goes towards'. I bit back a retort that £300 for three children doesnt leave much for anything else.

victory

Then if he lives with you and you say yes yes it is:D

londonsurrey

It sounds like you were right to make him your ex!
Is he a bit of a control freak?

Just have a good talk with your son. He's getting old enough to see the type of person your ex really is, and to make his own decisions on that score.

IMHO, boy sounds perfectly capable of and entitled to get a pet rat.
Control freak absent dad is trying to stop it.

Loser dad even has the cheek to try to blackmail son that he will lose the promised holiday this year. On this point, he already promised them a holiday for last year, so son is perfectly entitled to cheekily point out that he'll collect on the non-delivered holiday for last year, and give up the promised holiday for this year, thank you very much.

On a serious note, the holiday is probably a moot point and won't be delivered anyhow, but now dad is playing head games by trying to make it son's fault that he doesn't deliver a holiday, so letting dad off the hook. Nice.

themull1

Get a rat, and if anyone says anything tell them its your rat.

UsernameAlreadyExists

Buy TWO rats. They're social creatures and need company.

LATE EDIT: I said this in a rush whilst at work, I meant to say "at least" two, if not more! I then went on to think that if buying "2" meant leaving one in the shop, then buy all three. Never leave a rat alone!! I am amazed that this single post has picked up 30 "thanks" so clearly there are alot of rat lovers out there ... i've had 4 at one once, and as many subsequent posters have said, they need LOTS of space, a HUGE cage, and lots and lots of "out" time.
Never keep them confined for long periods as they'll "starfish" to get out. They are a whole different animal to a hamster, and need plenty of interaction. They p1ss all over the place, but ignore that.
Unless you're prepared to give them the attention they crave, think about a goldfish instead :P

pinkduvetdiva

Looks to me like your DS already has a rat.....

podperson

Quite frankly it's nothing to do with the ex. While your son is in your care then it's up to you. (Just as if he wanted your son to 'have' a pet at his house then it would be up to him, unless of course it was a danger to the child).

It shows what a complete prat the ex is to threaten his son with taking away a holiday (that he probably wouldn't have got anyway!) in order to try and control him. It's rather sad though that your son is probably at the age where he's becoming much more aware of what kind of person his father is and actions like this will just lead to them probably having a very poor relationship in the future. Still, not much you can do on that as he's making his own bed there!