Trying for a Baby Part 9

codemonkey

I need some sympathy and I know you guys are going to understand. I'm feeling really low atm. I feel like I'm being left behind. All my friends have kids, some have 3, and several of the kids I used to babysit for now have children too. I'm already a great-aunt and will most likely be a great-great-aunt before I'm a mum (oldest great niece is almost 15 and most girls in my family get pregnant in their late teens). Loads of the old timers from here are moving on which is great but...I'm still here. No sign of progress. Certainly no sign of a BFP - I've never even had one, or a baby. And our search for a fur baby is stalling too - we can't find a suitable dog. And at the rescue place there was a box for planning a baby and I didn't tick it, because we've been trying unsuccessfully for so long that it's irrelevant. I've not taken any supplements (inc folic acid) for days because what's the point? I'm sick of waiting. I'm out of patience and I'm just a big fat failure and clearly I can't even adopt because if we cant even find a suitable dog, we'll never find a child. :(:(:(:(

Metranil_Vavin

Code..sorry you are feeling low. Forgive me if you have been through this here before but, have you been to see a FS or your GP?

codemonkey

I have. They found elevated prolactin but because I'm ovulating, the endocrinologist wasn't too worried about it. Everything else is normal.

Metranil_Vavin

How long have you been trying?
It may be worth you going back and explaining how unhappy it's all making you. I think sometimes Dr's are too quick to dismiss people, particularly if as you say you've never had a + on a test.

I dont know how old you are either, but if you are over 35 and have been trying I think 12 months, they have to take it seriously.

Metranil_Vavin

Also has your OH had his sperm checked?
It could be a problem his end.
I know men can be reluctant to admit there may be an issue with themselves, but it's definitely worth getting checked out.

codemonkey

Metranil_Vavin wrote: »

How long have you been trying?
It may be worth you going back and explaining how unhappy it's all making you. I think sometimes Dr's are too quick to dismiss people, particularly if as you say you've never had a + on a test.

I dont know how old you are either, but if you are over 35 and have been trying I think 12 months, they have to take it seriously.

Metranil_Vavin wrote: »

Also has your OH had his sperm checked?
It could be a problem his end.
I know men can be reluctant to admit there may be an issue with themselves, but it's definitely worth getting checked out.

DH is being a bit ostrichy about it which is perfectly normal (I'm a man how dare you suggest I have anything but supersperm!!) but annoying. We decided on 6 months time for getting help but in the meantime I want to lose weight so they don't blame that and turn me away again.

I'm 33. We've been contraception free for over 3 years. I can't remember the exact date.

cwtw

Hey code sorry you're feeling so low. It is good you can share how you feel, it is soooooo rubbish when everyone around you appears to drop out babies and for some it is so much harder than that. I second mv's advice to speak to your GP. In terms of adoption, if that is the path you end up on then pls pm me if you want as that is an area I know a lot about.
You will get there, it's just a much more complicated journey than you would ever have wished for, and sometimes the destination changes along the way.....
Big dodgy hug :grouphug: you are definitely not alone on this forum.

any_name_will_suffice

Aw codemonkey, I have only just joined this thread, so I don' t know how long you've been trying (for a baby or to find a dog) but I'm sending you a big hug xxx

I found my rescue dog by accident five and a bit years ago, I actually took him on privately from a horrid man who wanted him to grow up to be a ferocious beast. He's actually as soft as poop, but I'm sure if I had tried to adopt him from a rescue they would have said we weren't a suitable home for him. How come you're having so many problems?

And I know what you mean about the babies too. My DSD is 21 and I worry I will end up being a grandmother before I have a baby of my own. All my friends it seems, including my next door neighbour and just about every woman of childbearing age at work are expecting and I know my best friend has struggled to share with me all the exciting bits of her pregnany because she knows I'm really sad, and I hate that.

How long have you been ttc, have you seen a specialist? x

Metranil_Vavin

codemonkey wrote: »

DH is being a bit ostrichy about it which is perfectly normal (I'm a man how dare you suggest I have anything but supersperm!!) but annoying. We decided on 6 months time for getting help but in the meantime I want to lose weight so they don't blame that and turn me away again.

I'm 33. We've been contraception free for over 3 years. I can't remember the exact date.

I think the ostrich thing is really common in men. Almost like it challenges their masculinity in some way..daft.

At least you have a timeline to work towards. In the meantime could you 'encourage' him nutritionally maybe? Up the amount of zinc he has or even get him to take a supplement?

I had OH on a conception vit for men which I think helped. His diet was rubbish and he used to drink way too much (and smoke) none of which is condusive to healthy swimmers.

any_name_will_suffice

any_name_will_suffice wrote: »

How long have you been ttc, have you seen a specialist? x

Already answered, I type too slow!!