Clubcard Points and MIL - Dilemma.

Any

Kili wrote: »

To clarify a few points.

SIL is paid for her vouchers just the same as I am. The days out tokens pay for her and her OH to get into theme parks along with my children. OH and I don't go and actually are never asked if we want to. Again this is probably an assumption that we wont.

Petrol is a non issue as it is usually OH and I that drive them as we live reasonably close to a theme park. Moreoften than not they take the bus, which my children's fare is paid for by myself.

Food, again the children are given money to buy food within the park and it is always spent.

MIL's finances are just fine. My inlaws are very well off indeed.

If you now have these problems with the deal, why don't you just stop it? It has been done for years as you say and you were happy to do it for years, now you find all sorts of faults with it because she got herself a jumper?
If she has her own card, how do you even know it was YOUR vouchers that were for the clothes? What if they were hers? If she spent her own last ones on your kids, while physicaly these were yours, really it could have been from her pot, she just didn't care about the names on them before.

Again - if you now have problem with it, just stop. I don't think she has any idea you are miffed and she has done something wrong. I don't think she has.
And I don't think she will mind if you stop giving them to her.

arbroath_lass

Kili wrote: »

Thats exactly it, thank you.

Yes, I was miffed because I'd let her have them at face value when I could have used £30 worth of clothes myself. I thought I was putting into the 'days out' pot for everyone to use.

Perhaps MIL has put the "extra" £15 in the days out pot because she wants to take the children somewhere not in the clubcard scheme or to spend whilst they are out?

I do think you are being a bit cheeky tbh. You didn't "let her have them" you gave them to her (and she subsequently paid for them). You've already said you don't shop in Tesco I'm sure MIL just assumes you don't actually want/need them.

Your MIL takes your children on days out to places you don't want to go. Not every grandparent does this.

Kili

peachyprice wrote: »

Make your mind up.;)

Just tell her that this time there are some things you want and as she has plenty of days out vouchers left over you'll be keeping this lot and that she should tell you when the days out vouchers are getting low so you can give her the next lot to top up the pot.

Just because she's isn't doing exactly what you want her to with the vouchers isn't something to start getting antsy about

Those 2 statements don't actually differ so I'm not entirely sure why you have issue with those.

OH and I are not theme park fans so we ctually never use them ourselves

OH and I don't go and actually are never asked if we want to. Again this is probably an assumption that we wont.

Which is essentially the same thing, we don't go but we are never asked anyway. They probably assume that we won't go but even on events like Christmas, Halloween and Fireworks we aren't asked.

Any wrote: »

If you now have these problems with the deal, why don't you just stop it? It has been done for years as you say and you were happy to do it for years, now you find all sorts of faults with it because she got herself a jumper?
If she has her own card, how do you even know it was YOUR vouchers that were for the clothes? What if they were hers? If she spent her own last ones on your kids, while physicaly these were yours, really it could have been from her pot, she just didn't care about the names on them before.

Again - if you now have problem with it, just stop. I don't think she has any idea you are miffed and she has done something wrong. I don't think she has.
And I don't think she will mind if you stop giving them to her.

I don't find faults because she got a jumper, and frankly thats a bit OTT. I'm not finding any fault other than I was a little miffed that she doubled the voucher and spent it on herself when I was under the impression it was going into the pot. Had i realised this beforehand I'd have said to her that if it wasn't needed for the pot I'm going to keep hold of it and double it up to use towards some presents etc

arbroath_lass wrote: »

Perhaps MIL has put the "extra" £15 in the days out pot because she wants to take the children somewhere not in the clubcard scheme or to spend whilst they are out?

I do think you are being a bit cheeky tbh. You didn't "let her have them" you gave them to her (and she subsequently paid for them). You've already said you don't shop in Tesco I'm sure MIL just assumes you don't actually want/need them.

Your MIL takes your children on days out to places you don't want to go. Not every grandparent does this.

Ok, firstly to point out that I have perhaps given the impression that these children are young, they certainly aren't. They are older teenagers. The only place they go is theme parks using these vouchers, oh and occasionally bowling, something that again Sis in Law and her OH are invited to, OH and I have never been asked if we want to go along and in the past when we have said 'Oh we'll come too' it has been arranged for times that make it almost impossible for OH to attend.
Both children are more than old enough to visit theme parks alone and frequently do, so nobody is taking my kids anywhere I don't want to go to.

I have made my decision and I am going to convert the vouchers to days out deals myself, and split them between my children. They can then use them for theme park visits on their own.
If MIL and SIL want to convert theirs as well then it is up to them.

jjj1980

If I'm reading the OP's posts correctly, I think the issue is not so much to do with the MIL buying items for herself but the fact she has wanted to double up the vouchers and therefore benefit from double the amount she paid for the vouchers.

In the OP's position, I would have told her that it was up to her what she spent them on but only to the face value, I would not be willing to give her my Clubcard and allow them to be doubled up.

msb5262

jjj1980 wrote: »

If I'm reading the OP's posts correctly, I think the issue is not so much to do with the MIL buying items for herself but the fact she has wanted to double up the vouchers and therefore benefit from double the amount she paid for the vouchers.

In the OP's position, I would have told her that it was up to her what she spent them on but only to the face value, I would not be willing to give her my Clubcard and allow them to be doubled up.

This idea looks like purest sour grapes to me!
If the MIL had the vouchers already - having paid for them - it wouldn't make any difference to the OP whether or not she doubled them up. Where would be the sense in refusing? I can only think that it would be to make a point...

Ruby_woo

Personally, I think you are sounding really mean, which I'm sure you're not really! If this is all you have to worry about, then count your family very lucky rather than counting club card points

Sambucus_Nigra

Presumably you are an adult. If you don't want to give them to your Mil then don't. If you do, then do. Why do you need the consensus of a load of strangers to make a decision?

Mojisola

Kili wrote: »

I'm not finding any fault other than I was a little miffed that she doubled the voucher and spent it on herself when I was under the impression it was going into the pot.

Had i realised this beforehand I'd have said to her that if it wasn't needed for the pot I'm going to keep hold of it and double it up to use towards some presents etc

This is what can rankle - in the past, the points went into the pot and the OP's children benefitted from a day out. Kili thought these vouchers would be used the same way.

If MIL was going to use them in a different way, she should really have told Kili that was the case. A decision to hand them over or not would then have been made with all the relevant information.

It's not worth getting annoyed about the use she has made of these vouchers but Kili can control what happens to any in the future.

Kili - if you don't pass on any more vouchers, does that mean the days out will stop?

Wickedkitten

jjj1980 wrote: »

If I'm reading the OP's posts correctly, I think the issue is not so much to do with the MIL buying items for herself but the fact she has wanted to double up the vouchers and therefore benefit from double the amount she paid for the vouchers.

In the OP's position, I would have told her that it was up to her what she spent them on but only to the face value, I would not be willing to give her my Clubcard and allow them to be doubled up.

Why yes MIL, I know I sold you these vouchers but despite them now being your vouchers, I expressly forbid you doubling them up you cheeky mare.

Bravehearted_2

Incredibly petty.

She bought them, so can do whatever she wants with them. If you don't like that, then don't sell them in the first place.

Yet another instance of a ridiculous thread.