Taking kids on holiday when mother objects

jackomdj

I would get your oh to go and have a chat with the local police, see what they say so you can do it all above board. That way if she does kick up then you have it cleared anyway :-)

19lottie82

zzzLazyDaisy wrote: »

I suggest that your OH seeks legal advice if he intends to just take them out of the country. It is a long time since I did any family law, so things may have changed, but it used to be that even the PWC needed the NRPs consent to take a child abroad, either that or a court order. It does seem like a sledge-hammer to crack a nut, but it is worth checking.

I thought this might be the case, but I was just wondering if there was any way round it such as applying for permission from a judge ad not really having to use a lawyer?

I think he is going to make an appointment with his lawyer next week but was just seeing if anyone could spread a little light on the situation before that.

pawsies

Why are you moving in with her?

19lottie82

saterkey wrote: »

maybe put portugal on hold this year until youve moved in and things are more stable, possible go away in the uk somewhere.

We thought of somewhere in the UK too but our budget is pretty limited and the flights to Portugal are pretty cheap, we wouldn't have any accommodation costs and we can self cater.

I understand what you are saying about waiting but tbh I don't think it would make any difference. I have been with my OH (and the girls) for three years now and she has always been like this, I can't see her getting any better.

19lottie82

pawsies wrote: »

Why are you moving in with her?

Eh? Where did u pick that up from?
as tempting as it sounds, it ain't ever goin to happen!:rotfl:

Valli

19lottie82 wrote: »

Eh? Where did u pick that up from?
as tempting as it sounds, it ain't ever goin to happen!:rotfl:

cos the poster thinks the kids are with their mum?

Anyway, Pigpen's advice is spot on. Most solicitors offer a free half hour initial consultation.
You can see more thanone solicitor; in case you don't get on with the first one you see;)
Ask for this when you phone and get a full cost breakdown before making a decision.
TBH I would try my utmost to do this; just to get things straight, if I were you, especially as it looks like you're staying in their lives.

kara7758

Contact this group

http://www.fathers-4-justice.org/

They have helped my friend with regards to contact for him and his daughter.

They can put him in touch with a McKenzie friend
(linky http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/McKenzie_friend ) which meant my friend did not have to get a solicitor and just pay expenses.

Hope this is helpful and good luck!

Tigsteroonie

Now I may get shot by the MSE-Police for suggesting this, but ...

Why don't you travel out a day later? You & your partner could make out to the girls that you can't make it for another reason (eg work), so that they don't know any different and won't tell their Mum anything untoward. Then you travel a day later to join them ("work allowed you to go after all"). So long as the children don't contact their Mum while away (so maybe no phones etc?) then you shouldn't get collared for kidnap until after their safe return.

But I really think your OH needs to get the issue of custody resolved legally. He *can* do it himself, there are various websites around to support him. You can bet your life that the minute the Ex hears that you are moving in with him and the children, she'll be going down the legal route.

squirrelchops

zzzLazyDaisy wrote: »

I suggest that your OH seeks legal advice if he intends to just take them out of the country. It is a long time since I did any family law, so things may have changed, but it used to be that even the PWC needed the NRPs consent to take a child abroad, either that or a court order. It does seem like a sledge-hammer to crack a nut, but it is worth checking.

Edit, according to this article

http://www.sydneymitchell.co.uk/news/legal-implications-taking-children-abroad-if-you-are-separated

"Consideration should first of all be given as to who has parental responsibility. If both parents have parental responsibility and there are no residence orders or other restrictions in place, then neither can take the child on holiday outside the United Kingdom without the written consent of the other parent or any other party with parental responsibility. If consent is refused, an application to the Court will need to be made for permission."

It might be worth applying for a residence order if this is going to be an ongoing problem, especially if you moving in is going to make her worse.

The ex however would need to get a Prohibited Steps Order to legally prevent your partner from taking the children abroad with or without a Residence Order. You often find in private law that parties apply for both together.

19lottie82

Tigsteroonie wrote: »

You can bet your life that the minute the Ex hears that you are moving in with him and the children, she'll be going down the legal route.

Well she already applied for legal aid to take him to court for custody of the kids but her application was rejected twice.
It's my understanding that she won't get legal aid to start a case like that BUT if my OH took her to court than she would be entitled to legal aid to defend herself.

So we know she won't really be able to do anything about us moving in together but if we start proceedings to try and get anything sorted about legal custody she will get everything paid for and I imagine her lawyer would try to drag it all out for as long as possible for the cash from the legal aid

Also even if she did manage to take him to court then I really don't think she would get anywhere. She is a recovering alcoholic and is still in treatment. She has previously been sectioned and has a conviction for drink driving. She is also unemployed.
My OH is a fantastic dad and has been their sole carer for almost 4 years. He lives right next to the kids school and his parents who provide an excellent support network in terms of after school childcare. She has only been off the drink for a year and prior to that used to go off the radar for weeks at a time due to her addiction.
I really can't see any court in the country uprooting them from my OH, considering the circumstances.