Coping with childhood abuse

meritaten

I am posting from the perspective of a nearly 60yr old - perhaps I am closer to the OPs in-laws in age, and understand the mindset of that generation. my own mum is in her 80s and has real difficulty understanding the problems of my grandson and granddaughter (Aspergers) and my granddaughter with ADHD.
That generation would not come across such terms, in fact mental disorders or personality disorders would have been hidden. it was 'Taboo'.
Poet is right in that they would have seen the behaviour as just 'acting up' - They wouldnt have seeked medical advice - it was just seen as 'naughty'.
I too have doubts that Aspergers is linked to mental trauma in the past - I believe that you either have Aspergers or you dont - you dont acquire it!
That said - I am not at all sure that never mentioning it again to the parents is a good thing - if they bring it up then by all means discuss it! but dont sweep it under the carpet again! thats been done to very bad results in this case.
While its very upsetting for the OP that her OH has spent the weekend in tears, its a good thing as tears are cathartic (especially for men), and hopefully he can now heal.
Counselling is a really good idea for the OP - she too is going to need to talk things out with someone other than OP! and maybe cry a little too.
Its such a sad case - I really feel for everyone involved!