Advice on a school matter please

Nicki

meritaten wrote: »

Do that Emma - and write down too that you will ask the Head for a copy of the Schools complaints procedure! usually puts the wind up them! but, I can tell you what it will say. First complain to the headmaster, then to the school governers and lastly (if no result) to the local education authority. In Writing!
I would be very unhappy that the dinnerlady was actually present at the heads meeting with the boys while his request to have his dad there was denied!

The guidelines have changed very recently (ie in the last few weeks) and it is now head > governors > Department of Education. The LA has been cut out. I am reasonably sure this is nationwide.

Emma133

balletshoes wrote: »

first things first - talk to the head. You need to stay calm as well, otherwise you are going to come across as a hysterical mum who's not prepared to listen to anyone. I totally understand why you're upset, the other child's mum should not have been present when the Head was talking to your son. So you point that out, and inform the Head there is to be no repeat of that - once you have got the Head's version of events.

Just wanted to reply to this.

I'm glad its a Friday as it gives me time to look into the teachers code of practice and behaviour and safegaurding children and I will be calmer come Monday. However, the heads side can be twisted and turned any way she wants the fact is she let the other childs mother be involved - this could have turned nasty as she believes her precious child is purely innocent, she should not of been anywhere near the accused children - lionesses and their cubs!!

balletshoes

Emma133 wrote: »

Just wanted to reply to this.

I'm glad its a Friday as it gives me time to look into the teachers code of practice and behaviour and safegaurding children and I will be calmer come Monday.
However, the heads side can be twisted and turned any way she wants the fact is she let the other childs mother be involved - this could have turned nasty as she believes her precious child is purely innocent, she should not of been anywhere near the accused children

- lionesses and their cubs!!

you're right of course - but on the other hand the Head may not feel the need to twist things, if you stay calm and ask her what happened she may just tell you straight, her side of things. Right now, it sounds like you don't want to hear the Head's side of things, and you won't believe her whatever she says. Like I say, stay calm and listen, take time to process the information, and then calmly state your case.

Emma133

Yes I understand what your saying I just don't see how she can justify having the other parent there. Also my sons friends mother spoke to the head on thursday about the matter, she wasn't informed about the dinnerlady/mother being there just that the two boys had been spoken to. So she has already denied bits of information and only told bits of the story.

Emma133

Also wanted to ask about the other incident with the violence of the ADHD child, I understand its a difficult condition but how much should actually be tollerated before action is taken, and what and how would be the correct action? i.e should he have a special needs teacher? should he just be constantly supervised? His violence seems to be spiralling out of control, various children have suffered, bites, kicks, strangling, punches etc.

meritaten

emma - I would not bring up the matter of the other ASDH child. focus on YOUR child and the matter in hand! believe me, bringing the other child up will not help you!

rosalie-lavender

dangers wrote: »

I'm a dinner lady and if my child was at the school I was working at, I wouldn't be allowed to deal with any incident that involved him/her. A few parents have applied for jobs, but haven't got them as their child is at the school - a possible conflict of interest.

Your son should not have been questioned when the mother was present. It should have been dealt with by someone totally impartial!

I work as a dinner lady and totally agree with this. It is policy in our school that you leave someone else to deal with any incident involving your own child.

dll74

Firstly I have had a similar experience at Primary School with my Daughter who was questioned by a Teacher over an incident. She was taken into a classroom and the other child and her parent were also there (but not me) talked over, accused of lying and made to apologise. I complained to School and they apologised saying that it was innappropriate that one child was "represented" by not another. The incident I may add was not witnessed by an adult just that the other child told her parent her version and the parent grabbed the nearest member of staff to complain. I understand how you feel and tbh although my daughter is in high school now I still get mad when I think about it.
Secondly my son has ADHD and is medicated- if I though that his level of medication or indeed any aspect of his medication was being discussed with another parent I would be absolutley livid :mad: and pursue a complaint immediatley.
Please take in board the advice not to mention other people's children. The school will likely take a dim view of this and it may undermine any point you try to make. Keep everything relevant to you own child if you can.

busiscoming2

I'm a dinner lady too and have to say firstly I think it isn't a good idea for schools to employ parents!

The child's mother should not have been involved at this point, she should have referred the incident to another dinner lady/teacher to deal with it and only bought in if/when you were.

I would speak to the head and if you have no joy there, then approach the governors about the way this has been handled.

Emma133

Thank you for the replys, I will deal with the first matter on Monday and will not persue the second matter for the moment.

However, I do feel this is relevant to my child as on Friday he was punched in the face by the child, how much should I allow before I mention "other peoples" children?