Real-life MMD: I got £400 for finding someone a job, should I give them half?

JIreland

telsco wrote: »

i would only split the money if the only reason she applied for the job was to help you get the referral fee and not the extra £3600 a year she's now going to earn.
This is very unlikely, so don't split it.
She would be quite a selfish person if she expects you to hand over half.

precisely!

joehoover

No, it's not like a case the other week where someone was wanting to keep £100 unfairly.

In this case, it is fair for you to keep it, it's a company scheme, they will likely have to declare these bonuses as all part of your wages and for tax purposes.

She is mistaken, and who wants to start off in a new company on the wrong foot? You should have nipped it in the bud ages ago and corrected her when she first said it....unless is there any way she would assume you are splitting it when you first mentioned the job, maybe you weren't clear.

If you think it is your error and you may have not been clear in the beginning then split it to keep the peace, but if you were clear and she has got the wrong end of the stick then tell her it is yours, and if she refers then she would get £400 too.

I can't imagine anyone would be put out not getting £200, no one takes a job for a sign on bonus, you take it for the long term opportunity and wages. And she could be embarrassed when she realises the correct scheme and she has been saying the wrong thing all along.

Thegirl

I would have responded when they initially asked that I'll treat you lunch with MY bonus. However, by not correcting them at the time you've already implied agreement.
For the sake of working with them long term and them being your friend I would split it. Just remeber it's not £400, it's £400 less tax and national insurance.
I think they are very cheeky for even suggesting it in the first place though. If a friend told me they would get a £400 bonus for me getting a job with their company I mighthave said great you can buy me a celebratory drink if I get it then. I wouldn't have expected half!

debtdesperado

I thought it was generally accepted etiquette that the recipient splits the bonus...I've never really heard of anyone keeping the whole thing.

Perhaps look at it another way: for the sake of £200, you'll not only lose a friend, but make an enemy at work....

glberry88

This actually happened to me - The referral money was £1000, and my friend who put me forward for the job made it clear at the beginning that we would split the money if I got the job (which I didn't expect whatsoever). Because we've known eachother for several years, I honestly didn't even think that there would be a problem when I finished my probation period, but sadly he had changed his mind once he had been given the money.

I would have understood he was in financial difficulty and really needed the money, but that wasn't the case. In fact, he was earning around £10K more than I was!

It affected our friendship and was quite difficult to work with him for a small amount of time, but we're ok now. It's a terrible situation to be in, and I'd never let myself be there again. I felt quite foolish. Don't share!

Mojisola

debtdesperado wrote: »

Perhaps look at it another way: for the sake of £200, you'll not only lose a friend, but make an enemy at work....

Why do so many people think that the referrer risks losing a friend by not sharing the money but not that the new employee risks losing a friend by asking for half the money?

glberry88 wrote: »

This actually happened to me - The referral money was £1000, and my friend who put me forward for the job made it clear at the beginning that we would split the money if I got the job (which I didn't expect whatsoever). Because we've known eachother for several years, I honestly didn't even think that there would be a problem when I finished my probation period, but sadly he had changed his mind once he had been given the money.

That's a different issue. Your "friend" went back on a deal - that's wrong.

Sulevia

keriku wrote: »

Tell her that if she refers someone, she will get the same bonus! After all is she going to give you 1/2 of her extra £300 per month?

I agree with this one.

meganmegan

Both ways aren't great because if you split it you may be feeling resentful, and if you don't your friend might be, neither of which is good for your friendship, so you need to communicate over it.

I would suggest explaining how you feel about the situation and asking your friend what they think is the right thing to do so that neither of you end up feeling bad, and hopefully you will be able to come up with a solution together.

Summer76

It is a referral fee it should not be split. The same would apply if your freind was to make a referral. Personally I think your friend is being greedy. I have been in a similar position where someone has referred me for something where they gain, it never crossed my mind that I should get half or even part of their fee.

Spreadalittlehappinessnow

Is this really such a dilemma? You referred her for the job with the incentive that you would get £400 if she actually got it. She did get the job and if she hadn't, you wouldn't have the £400. Regardless of whether you agreed it beforehand (although you must have made a point about it or why would she keep mentioning it?). Just split it and get on with spending it. You are friends after all and £200 is still £200 more than you had before. It's really not that big a deal in the grand scheme of things unless you choose to make it so.