Taking daughter to USA - different surnames?

jtr2803

So, we have a trip to NYC booked for just over two weeks time, her Dad knows all about it and is more than happy but it twigged to me the other day that all us have different surnames!

I have read about needing/not needing permission but am not sure if there are any 'real' implications or issues? She is 12. I could get a letter from him but it won't prove anything, I guess I could take her birth certificate but I don't particularly want to in case I lose it.

Have heard horror stories about US Immigration so just wanting to ensure I do everything properly

claire16c

My SIL took her daughter to the US (she has no contact with the father so there was no letter to be written) I advised her to take the birth certificate but she forgot.

The immigration guy asked her if the father was ok with her brining the child into the US without him, my SIL said as far as she was concerned the father didnt exist anyway, the immigration guy said 'what does your country think about that?' And she said no idea I dont think they care! And that was it. However she said next time she is bringing the birth certificate to show no father is listed.

So I would bring it as you never know what questions they can ask, just keep it along with your passports so you wont lose it.

There is no harm in writing a letter and getting him to sign it. Although it wont prove anything - I mean you could have faked it, it could help and will only take you 5 mins to do.

I wouldnt worry too much though Im sure this happens all the time. Just make sure your ESTAs are all correct too.

jtr2803

Thanks Claire, all the ESTAs are done (I did them before xmas as it was a surprise holiday for DD and my OH).

I will get the birth certificate and a letter from him and keep fingers crossed as she is dead excited

Chickabiddybex

Oh God, when I went to the US I was SO nervous about being let in! I had no problems in the end but the best thing you can do is be prepared. I highly doubt they will ask for anything other than a passport but you should take extra just in case.

I took wage slips, a copy of my tenancy agreement, passport, driving license, a recent utility bill, etc etc. It wasn't needed but it made me feel a lot better!

Make sure you visit IHOP while you're there btw, you haven't had breakfast til you've been to IHOP!

Lexie

Hi I've been twice, different states and was not asked either time. No harm in taking a letter and Birth Certificate though.

fluffnutter

Why should having different names mean that you're potentially taking a child somewhere without its father's permission. Jeez (not aimed at you, OP) but haven't people woken up to the fact that it's the 21st century yet and there are about 50 odd types of family set-up? We're no longer mummy and daddy and 2 children all sharing the same name.

I don't have the same name as my son simply because I didn't change my name when I married and when my son was born we gave him my husband's name. Doesn't mean I've split from my OH nor does it mean I'm going to start smuggling my child places without his father's permission.

What about widows who have remarried? What about step-fathers taking their step-children abroad? What about taking your child's friend on holiday? There are a myriad of perfectly legitimate reasons why you'd be travelling with a child who doesn't share your surname - to think that people are going to start being suspicious that you've stolen said child is paranoid!

OllysMum_2

fluffnutter wrote: »

- to think that people are going to start being suspicious that you've stolen said child is paranoid!

No, it's not paranoid at all. I've found often that US and especially Canadian immigration are very suspicious when I travel with my children on my own. Other times there has been no issue at all.

It makes sense to be prepared. I carried a letter from my ex husband saying that he knew the children were with me. Legally I didn't need that, he had no parental responsibility, but it made things easier. Not once was the letter ever checked for validity, but it got me through immigration more smoothly a number of times.

Edited to add, I once took my two nephews back to Canada with me (my sister had come to the UK and then gone back to Canada early). Four children in all, one adult, assortment of surnames, immigration never even questioned me!

Igottawii!!

fluffnutter wrote: »

..... What about taking your child's friend on holiday?

When we took my daughters friend (at the time they were aged 15) to Paris on a day trip with us by car the Border Agent on the way back sternly told us that we should have written permission from the friend's parent when taking her out of the country!

shykins

just to say twice when i went to the states they queried the differnt names., luckily ds middle name is my surname which helps

BUT we also took copies of his birth certificate, copy of marriage certificate showing my change of name from the same of his to what it is now etc. we had copies of everything. ok we didnt need them in the end but rather be safe than sorry

HTH

peachyprice

Take her birth certificate as a paper trail by all means, but TBH, at the age of 12 they are likely to ask her questions, not nastily, they do it as if they are making conversation while checking your docs, it usually goes along the lines of 'Are you looking forward to your visit, shame your dad couldn't come' type of thing, just so they can gauge the child's reaction.

I have to say, of all the countries in the world we've visited, the only place me/my children have been questioned is coming back into the UK.

needahol

I've been to the US twice, first time there were 5 of us and apart from my 2 daughters sharing the same name, we all had different surnames (me, OH, daughters and a niece)

It wasn't mentioned (and didn't even occur to me that it might be)