Debating whether to go back to work!!

I would like to go back to work after 1 yr maternity leave. After paying childcare £1200 in greater London and train, I will be left only with £300. My parents said it is not worthy going back to work and they will help financially if necessary. I do want to give it a tray as I will miss having my own money. Thanks


  • Gillyx
    Gillyx Posts: 6,847 Forumite
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    It really depends on whether you have a career or a job and whether taking a few years out employment will damage your future earning potential.
    The frontier is never somewhere else. And no stockades can keep the midnight out.
  • toni_
    toni_ Posts: 1,240 Forumite
    im thinking this too but im the opposite i dont want to go back to work, i have a job i hate and all i want to do is spend time with my little girl but everyone seems to go back to work these days, anyone else not going back to work?
  • jackyann
    jackyann Posts: 3,433 Forumite
    What does your dh / baby's father think?
    I would discuss with everyone involved, consider under what circumstances you would accept money from your parents & how you would both feel about it.
    Could you consider part-time?
    Could grandparents / other help with child care? As a positive thing - spending time with grandchild, not as a "not really up to this but have to help" thing.
    If gps live at a distance, could you consider occasional agency work? This was very popular when mine were little - a lot of my friends would get grandparents or aunts to stay for a week or two a couple of times a year and do agency work.
    I would think widely
  • toni_ wrote: »
    im thinking this too but im the opposite i dont want to go back to work, i have a job i hate and all i want to do is spend time with my little girl but everyone seems to go back to work these days, anyone else not going back to work?

    I'm not going back because, similar to the OP, I'd have very little money to show for it. I don't have a career, though, or even much of a clue what I want to be when I grow up!
  • shoe*diva79
    shoe*diva79 Posts: 1,356 Forumite
    Are you married or single? You may be able to claim tax credits to help tpwards childcare.

    Im a single mum to 2 girls and tomorrow return to work full time after 2 years off (One year maternity and a additional year) and financially I will be better off then not working.
  • VRose
    VRose Posts: 38 Forumite
    I agree with jackyann about discussing pros and cons and general opinions with those involved.

    I like the acroynm brain; benifits (what are the benifits of working), risks (what are the risks), alternatives (what are the alternatives), intuition (what is your gut response), nothing (what happens if you do nothing - in this case stay at home).

    I have choose to be a sahm, partly due to dh's demanding job, but mostly because of the family life that we want. I see lots of friends who managed Ok working with preschool children, but when they get another addition or the school commitments start, find themselves very stretched. I worked part time with eldest and felt it was beneficial all round, but have decided that I will look for work within school hours after my youngest is at school.
    I think of family life, and life in general, in seasons, and make adjustments when needed.

    I also find as a sahm, I save us loads more than if I were at work. Moneysaving is very hard to fit around a job and family life, though I know some couple do it very well, I know I wouldn't. So even if you are £300 down as a SAHM, you could easily make adjustments to recoup that.

    All the best in working out what is best.
  • try :www: employersforchildcare. I am also juggling the same decision as my lg has just turned 5 months and I need to start to think about childcare if I am going to go back to work. My mother did not work so I have no experience of childminders etc, I have worked in nurseries and know how unprofessional some of them can be and that scares me. However, on the flipside I do not know if we would be able to survive on only one income. And I know how difficult my mum found both going back to work and I like the independence of having my own money, I have always worked hard and am torn as to what to do! :huh:
  • Emmala
    Emmala Posts: 428 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker Debt-free and Proud!
    It's a decision only you can make - don't let other people make up your mind for you. Also, think ahead - it may be manageable now, but what happens if/when you have another baby (or two??)

    I was a teacher and went back three days a week after I had my first baby. If I remember right, I took home around £1100. His nursery fees came in about £500 (we had a term time only option, fab for teachers!) We didn't live near family and I didn't really have close friends who could have helped. It was fine.....BUT I found that when I was at school I was full on and planned to do x y and z, but then the minute I left to pick DS up, it all faded and all I wanted to do was be at home with him. I felt very torn. Anyway, I knew when I had number two that working wasn't an option.....I didn't see the point of going to work in a stressful job (secondary kids and I was still head of two departments) for £100 a month after two lots of nursery fees. I was lucky, my husband didn't mind me being at home at all and had/has a well paid job so we can manage on one income.

    Now, I've been 'out' for eight years and am thinking about going some ways it would have been easier to have stayed working part time, so perhaps you could do this (depending on your job, is part time an option?) However, and I know lots of ladies won't agree with me on this, it's hard work being at home full time BUT it's the best job in the world and I wouldn't have missed a minute of it! They are little for such a short period of time, before you know it they're hormonal, full of attitude and you'll be wondering where your little baby angel went!!!!

    Also, there is much more running around to do as they get older - especially if you have more than one child. Brownies, Cubs, swimming lessons, and so's much easier before they start school. Logistics can be a pain - would your OH be around to help with this? would you be the one to do the running around on top of work??? There's a lot to think about.

    Finally, try not to listen too much to what your friends tell you (or anyone else for that matter!) My experience tells me that while many will say they like working or can't manage without working, what they actually mean is that they are jealous that I've been at home, they just won't admit it! It's a funny old me and DH, I've been doing the most important job in the others, including my MIL, I've been at home being lazy and sponging off my husband!! It's no-one's business, we did what was right for us and our kids, our family motto is 'family first'.

    If you have family who will help with childcare then consider that too - we didn't have anyone to help, and loads of my working friends do so because they are getting their childcare FREE from family/in laws. But, ultimately, do what you feel is the best thing for you and your baby.....but don't just think about NOW as you need to have one eye on the future too. Good luck, whatever you decide to do xxxx
  • toni_ wrote: »
    im thinking this too but im the opposite i dont want to go back to work, i have a job i hate and all i want to do is spend time with my little girl but everyone seems to go back to work these days, anyone else not going back to work?


    That is a bit of a dilemma you have, I have been in the same job for 5 years now, worked full-time for the first 2 years and the rest part-time. I chose to do this to give my wife a break from having our child all the time, and then we had another baby who is now 8 months. I really enjoy time with my kids like you, and think family comes first.

    If like me you are not too bothered about money (as long as you can afford to pay the bills) and have a small amount spare, then why not be a full-time mum? You do not have to this forever, I am sure once your little one is older you will think about returning to work, you have decades to work in your life, but just a few precious years to enjoy the upbringing of your child.
    The pioneers of a warless world are the young men and women who refuse military service. - Albert Einstein.

    No matter what political reasons are given for war, the underlying reason is always economic. - A. J. P. Taylor
  • Just popping on to say I am in a really similar situation. My youngest has just turned one and my daughter is three. I took voluntary redundancy from a quite well paid job prior to having my DS as I wanted to go to uni to retrain. I started uni in October and it was just too full on with the children so I left and I can honestly say it was the best thing I ever did!! I'm currently trying to decide whether to look for a job but I really don't want to at all. The problem is we have a lot of debt (although this is currently being managed by Stepchange as we have a Debt Management Plan) and I feel guilty that we may be able to pay it off slightly faster if I worked. The problem is I too would be working for £200-£300 a month and that is before you factor in petrol etc. I really really want to be at home with the children and I love it so so much but I do feel guilty. My husband is due to come in to some money within the next 5 years so I am just relying on that and hoping we can pay the debt off (or at least some of it) then. I really dont want to miss this time with my children.

    Sorry I've rambled on there lol but as you can see I'm struggling with the decision too. Let me know what you decide x x
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