Suspended During Grievance

zzzLazyDaisy

Uncertain wrote: »

Kelly...

I don't think this thread is helping you now given the way it has developed.

This is why I have stayed out of it since explaining your legal rights a few days ago.

Take Daisy's advice, go to the meeting, stay calm, see what they say then carefully consider your options.

A bunch of strangers on an internet forum can't run your life for you.

I hope it works out.

I agree.

And insofar as my comments yesterday might have contributed to the thread going off at a tangent, I apologise for that.

Kelly, try not to over think this. Go to the meeting, stay calm, and do what you said at post 74, which was:

"so it goes like this?


1.
Thank you for this meeting, I appreciate your time.
2.
I have had time to think about the whole situation and I accept that I have
over-reacted.
I have been stressed without realising how much it was affecting me.
I understand that you might find it hard to trust me now but I am prepared to work with you. I love my job and I appreciate that you are a good employer.
I would like to start again and I will work on my attitude, if something is bothering me I will try to resolve it first, but if it doesn’t, I will come and speak to you.
3.
I really appreciate the opportunity to talk through the issues around my workload; I really want to stay and I want to do well for you. I have come to this meeting prepared to discuss the details of my workload in detail, to see if we can agree some changes to make the role more manageable – would you like to discuss those matters now, or would you prefer to schedule another meeting to talk about my role in more detail."

zzzLazyDaisy

Kelly, just one other thing - when would you normally expect to be paid?

Just wondering as we are coming to the month end - if you get your normal payslip, and wages are paid into your bank as expected, this means that they are still treating you as an employee.

This means there is a good argument that your earlier resignation has 'lapsed'.

Dx

EDIT: just to be clear - this doesn't make any difference to the meeting itself, but if they decide not to continue your employment, it could make a difference in legal terms.

But please don't mention it at the meeting - you would only be giving them an opportunity to correct their mistakes before they make them, and that is not in your interests.

kelly_borntoshop

zzzLazyDaisy wrote: »

Kelly, just one other thing - when would you normally expect to be paid?

Just wondering as we are coming to the month end - if you get your normal payslip, and wages are paid into your bank as expected, this means that they are still treating you as an employee.

This means there is a good argument that your earlier resignation has 'lapsed'.

Dx

EDIT: just to be clear - this doesn't make any difference to the meeting itself, but if they decide not to continue your employment, it could make a difference in legal terms.

But please don't mention it at the meeting - you would only be giving them an opportunity to correct their mistakes before they make them, and that is not in your interests.

yes i was paid in full on friday - its supposed to be the end of the month but she pays early, theres never a set payday. however i did worry that she might say that is notice pay?

zzzLazyDaisy

kelly_borntoshop wrote: »

yes i was paid in full on friday - its supposed to be the end of the month but she pays early, theres never a set payday. however i did worry that she might say that is notice pay?

Okay, well, lets just put that on the shelf for now. I don't want to complicate things by discussing 'what ifs', as they might not happen and it will get confusing.

Lets just say that, for the moment, you have been paid as normal, and as far as it goes, that is a good sign.

Dx

kelly_borntoshop

you know when you say i do the whole detail thing?

is that with the admin tasks - ie recording all the numbers etc? if thats what you meant thats what i am asked to do by CD.

zzzLazyDaisy

I was simply raising this as a possible way of managing your workload, but if you are given specific management instructions to carry out work in a particular way, then that is obviously not something you have any direct control over.

kelly_borntoshop

ah ok now i think i understand. thanks daisy x

FBaby

Kelly, you are confusing what you are feeling about your job and how you go about these feelings.

There is nothing wrong with the frustrations you are experiencing. Yes, with experience and age, you will learn to deal with it better, but feeling stressed with timescales, having to report to different bosses who want different things etc... will always be something to cope your best with.

The problem is that you seem to let it escalate to the point where it all gets to you and you then feel that it gives you an entitlment to lash out and accuse others for the way your feel. What you need to do is is question things. You have too much to do, why is that? Could you change some things, could you prioritise better, could you communicate with your bosses to remind that that you are supporting more than one of them. Remember that your boss is not just there to tell you what to do about someone to learn from. Do value their input, but make sure you get valuable input from them by questioning them professionally, not by judging what they tell you once they have expressed their own frustration with your attitude.

You need to shift your mindset and see them as allies rather than enemies and see what you can gain from their experience. They were where you were once upon a time.

kelly_borntoshop

i think if they can make my role clear and more manageable then i can look to drawing a line and starting again. dropping all of this resentment and starting again.

in future - should she attacke me personally, any advice on how to handle that?

kelly_borntoshop

just called work to see if everything was still ok for tomorrow. got my head bitten off by CD (who still sounds really angry). said i would be there and that i would be on my own. i am dreading it.

got an interview at 4pm. its longer hours i think, less pay but only 1 job and less stress.