How Do You Do It?

skintmum2012

Hi I think some of the "Advise" on here is a little well harsh. I have a 2 and a 4 year old. And when I had them my house was a mess and I think we lived of take aways As someone said it just takes a little time to get into a routine. And kids grow so so fast make the most of your little one I promise you the washing and the cooking and the tidying will still be there tomo however they stay small for such a short time.

Something I did do was a cooked in huge batches and Froze stuff. Also all those people that want to come and see you and baby get them to do some washing, tidying, Bring food with them. I am sure they won't mind

As for your Nan I think time makes us forget things I was shocked the other day my sister who has just had a baby said to my mum that she is not doing as well as I did and I was up and about and doing things Straight away. Well that's so not true and I was quick to let her know I think we all judge ourselfs a little to much as time.

sweetme

Don't even worry about housework. Enjoy your baby for as long as you possibly can. This is coming from someone with teenagers. I know what's to come

camNolliesMUMMY

When Oliver was born I heavily relied on my sc, I still do now and he's 10 months old.
I have a five year old and a husband and a house to run.
I prep what I can when he naps or the evening before and put the whole dish with the food in it inside the fridge, In The morning I take it out and place it in the sc and turn it on....job done hugs x

soba

The first week after I had my baby we pretty much lived off Pot Noodles and sandwiches on paper plates - the proper plates had been lying in the kitchen waiting to be washed. I couldn't think for the life of me how things would ever be any different and for ages they weren't. Eventually though, as baby settled into a routine, things got slightly easier in that I could cut up veg for a casserole and shove it in the oven while baby had an afternoon nap (if I didn't fall asleep as well). We ate a lot of casseroles and easy-to-prep meals for a long time. One of my friend's daughters has had a baby and I know she's cooking stews for them so they can reheat them at teatime - I think that's a great idea and would have been over the moon if that had happened to us.

It's slightly easier now in that respect as my kids are 16 and 11, but of course, that brings different challenges.........

Broomstick

Twenty years ago, I used a Wilkinet with my two up to when each of them was about 3-4 months old. It took a bit of getting used to because the straps are very long, but it felt so snug and safe for me and for the baby. I moved on to other types of sling and backpack as they got older and couldn't have managed without. I recommend asking friends who are already using a sling to try theirs and see what suits. Some left my back feeling 'wrong'. The Wilkinet was by far the best for me.

Prioritise yourself (eat and sleep and accept help), then your baby, then the other people around you, and lastly the house in that order! Grab whatever time you can to sleep and rest.

I remember in the early days thinking that to get dressed before 4pm was a major, major achievement. If you are tired in the day, give yourself a nap when the baby sleeps, don't even try to do housework then.

The other thing is that babies tend to go through growth spurts at about 6 weeks and 3 months. I don't know about bottle fed babies but mine whom I breast fed wanted to do nothing other than feed when they were growing fast. It was relentless!! So there's always the danger that you think you have some kind of system worked out for doing everything and being supermum (who doesn't exist btw) and then your baby goes into demanding overdrive and you are back at square one. It's much easier to have zero expectations of what you can achieve other than to care for and enjoy your son. Anything more than that is an unexpected bonus.

One other thought. Does your OH take a packed lunch to work? If so could he make one for you as well and pop it in the fridge so he could still be doing his bit to look after you while he's away (he sounds like a sweetie ) and it would be easy for you to eat it?

B x

PS. Don't get me started on paper plates! I had a good couple of years (on my own with two toddlers) where, once a week we'd have our food off disposable stuff and I'd chuck the washing up in the bin... there are times when guilt-free survival is the order of the day!

mrsd

Congrats on having a lovley baby after all you have been through, take time to enjoy him. Sure you are doing better than you think. It does get easier (my 2 are now in their teens). Neither of mine were good sleepers and my DH was away in the Navy, and I had no family for 200 miles. We got through and you will too. I am sure your friends would be more than happy to help if you let them, anyone who judges is not a good friend. Do what you feel up to and sleep when baby does. SOunds like your OH is doing his best, as long as you can manage to eat well and get some sleep, everything else will work out.

snowleopard61

Good grief, on top of just getting to grips with life with a new baby, you've been through so much. I think you are doing amazingly, and you are so self-critical.

Assuming he's the picture in your avatar, he's gorgeous by the way.;)

ETA: I knew a lady, by this time in late middle age, who always seemed to me the height of beauty and serenity, with a lovely house, busy life, etc. etc., and I knew she had brought up five children. One day I asked her how she had coped, and she said, 'My dear - by the skin of my teeth!' I think that's true of most of us, whatever it looks like to the outside world.

Cake4brains

I could have written this myself!

BAGGY wrote: »

When I has my twins there were days when never got round to cleaning my teeth let alone cooking. Going to the loo without planning it in was a luxury.

If the food couldn't be slammed in the microwave/bunged on a baking sheet and in the oven to be timed to end at the same time it didn't happen. I vividly remember dropping cheese and coleslaw on DT2's head from my jacket spud whilst breast feeding. (such a bad mother!)
Keeping on top of the washing was a night mare - even more reason to stay in your pj's all day so you can concentrate on washing their stuff. Wear sick coloured tops to hide the stains.

My twins are now 11 weeks old and I hardly have time to nip to the loo never mind anything else. My husband works silly night shifts so has to sleep for a good chunk of the day too. I do find myself wondering how on earth people do it, but then I look at my gorgeous girls and think sod the housework

We are living on whatever we can stick in the oven with no prep, or sandwiches. My husband is really good at doing the bottles (I Bf and they have formula top-ups), washing their clothes everyday and general tidying (which to him means hiding everything in cupboards!). Other than that the house is a cluttered mess but if my friends don't like it they aren't my friends :cool:

Twin 2 doesn't sleep most days, T1 is a good little napper bless her but that means I don't get the option of resting/doing anything while they nap as I always have to entertain T2 who is very 'high maintenance'! We recently put her on SMA Staydown which is fantastic stuff.

So I can totally relate. Anyway, what I originally wanted to say was congrats and enjoy every second of your gorgeous baby. Everything else can wait

Fruball

I used to put my tiny twins in front of the TV in bouncy chairs when I needed the loo or a quick shower! Never too young for a bit of CBeebies or babytv!!! haha!

(oh, and I weaned my two onto very small baby cereal or vegetable meals at 9 and 11 weeks as they needed it. HV nearly had a fit. GP fully supported it as they were permanently hungry and one had reflux. The reflux stopped when I weaned her. Didn't see the HV again )

BAGGY

Chirpy chick
I've just re-read your posts. You are doing so well. Especially considering the trauma you've been through. I also had an emmergency c-sect (pre eclampsia) and spent some time in high dependancy due to blood loss. DT2 was also in Nicu overnight and I didn't see him for 24 hrs.
I felt completely worthless as a mum, not only did I not have a natural birth I couldnt even get DT2 into the world safely. I strived to keep up with my NCT 'friends' that lunched in starbucks with their posh petite buggies and organic clothing from John Lewis. I couldn't even get my buggy in starbucks!
Eventually the light went on. I realised that for most of them this was thier outdoors persona and they were all trying to outdo each other with tales of 'little Johnny sleeps through the night from day one'. They probably had heaps of help from their mums and others. Given the circumstances I dont think I did too bad. Granted I have gained weight (1st six weeks of kitkats and cold tea didnt help) and live in leggins and knitted dresses with biker boots. I no longer iron and most things can be covered with my parker coat and a hat on the school run if I have wild hair. You WILL GET THERE. Just use the mantra...This too will pass. x