How Do You Do It?

chirpychick

I used to be very regular on this board and MSE in general but since having my baby 6 weeks ago all I manage to do is the washing!!
I don't have time to do anything let alone cook from scratch or bargain hunt or plan my shopping!

My Mum brought me some microwave rice packs which have been great for getting fairly healthy food down me but I couldn't justify that sort of money for lunches.

For dinner we have finally gotten into the habit of hubby cooking something easy like pasta and stir in sauce when he gets home from work but its not ideal.

I keep putting off visitors because my house is such a mess (and i never have a messy house!)

How does everyone else manage please?
Any advice gratefully received.
All my friends with new baby's seem to be coping well with their babes sleeping plenty and giving them time to do things but my little boy has we think reflux (gp appt thurs) and so I don't get much sleep, we dont have a routine and the only time I can guarantee he will sleep is at some point in the afternoon he will go down for 2-2.5 hours so i try to get the house a bit tidy and catch up and in the evenings by the time he has been fed, bottles sterilised and made up, we had dinner and caught up it is bed time already.

My Nan says that she had 3 under 5 and her house was always tidy, she always cooked from scratch and made a lot of their clothes etc etc so I am feeling a little bit like I must be doing something wrong.

Sambucus_Nigra

She didn't have the internet to deal with!

It's only been 6 weeks, give yourself a break...

Can you prep a load of veg at the weekend when hubby is there to look after little one and freeze it, then you can just take out, bung in a pan, or slow cooker, and just cook it rather than have to prep it? And do the same with meat if you eat it - split it into manageable portions cooked or raw, and label up ready for cooking.

HappyMJ

So what do you do with your time? You need to manage your time better....getting up early helps....and going to bed early...don't watch telly it's a big time waster. Listen to the radio instead whilst working/cleaning.

sillylittlejill

Hey
I've got a 10month old daughter who's just grown out of reflux so I know exactly how you're feeling!
On the reflux issue, we burped Pashley after every oz, sat her up for at least half an hour after each feed etc. The main thing that saved her stomach and our sanity was our GP prescribing SMA staydown which has made such a massive difference!

On the "keeping the house tidy" issue, if I ever come up with a solution I'll let you know :P
I tend to scoot round while she naps and replace toys/anything she's pulled out etc and fill the sink up with hot water and fairy liquid then stick the dishes in. Make some food, eat it then do the washing up which doesnt take as long as theyve been sat in the water. Hoovering I need to do every night now that she's crawling as any little crumb on the floor goes in her mouth. Its a bit easier for me though as she sleeps 7/8pm-9am usually.
Btw, no offence but I think your nan was lying :P either that or she's mary poppins! My house growing up was clean but cluttered, i dont know how its possible to keep everything clean with children. There should be toys everywhere if a child lives there in my opinion!!

Let us know how the dr goes hun xx

Skint_Catt

I didn't do anything, nor eat anything but toast I think for the first 8 months so give yourself a break!
Now she's 15 months & still occupies so much of my time in the day hubby wonders what I do all day (especially as its like a military operation to leave the house even though the change bag is always ready to go & I only have the one child at the mo!), but I have more energy to scoot round like a mad thing during naps & after she's gone to bed - nearly everything gets done after 7pm
C xx

sonastin

First thing to do is stop stressing about not having time to get stuff done - its amazing how much time gets lost in worrying about finding time!

Secondly, its only been 6 weeks. Give it time. You'll evolve into a routine that works for you soon enough. Even if it involves the house being more messy than it used to be. That's what having kids can do to your life!

Thirdly, if it is reflux and if it is anything like my brother's little girl, you'll be spending twice as long feeding him and twice as long getting him down as your friends are with theirs. Don't waste your time comparing lifestyles. They'll have other troubles to face at some point along the way and they'll look at you coping and wonder "how on earth does she manage when we can't". I'm not going to offer advice on how to cope with the reflux as every little one is different but my niece has long since found other ways to give my brother sleepless nights! The doc will be able to give you advice on how to deal with it and you'll be through it in no time. Don't let the stress of coping with everything be the only thing you remember about your son's first few weeks.

Lastly, your nan is probably wearing very large rose-tinted specs. That and you're trying to compare apples and oranges. Her house was probably tidy because she probably owned a fraction of the stuff that you do, so much less to get out of place. She probably cooked from scratch because the alternative was starvation. Go back in a time machine and offer her a microwave and some packs of rice and see if she'd choose to spend time cooking instead. And kids didn't have a wardrobe full of clothes in them days either, so its not like she made a new outfit for each child for each day of the week. I'd bet good money that a lot of that effort that your Nan put in wasn't when her first child was 6 weeks old. By the time she'd had the 3rd, it was less of a shock to the system and she'd had plenty of time to figure out a routine that freed up some of her time for doing that stuff. Come back when your son is 5 and tell us how well you managed to cope (whether or not you've had another 2 in that time)!

valk_scot

Oh, sod the housework. Your baby will only be 6 weeks old once, then he'll be different next week/month/three months from now and you'll be wondering where all the time went and why you didn't spend more time with him and enjoy him more. The dust will be the same dust though. As long as you're all fed, get at least some sleep and are healthy who cares? Ask your visitors, they're not coming to look at the house. They want to see you and cuddle the baby.

And if your Nan starts up with how great she was as a housewife/mum hand her the hoover and ask her to demonstrate. I really cannot stand that sort of one-upmanship, especially when it's a person you're supposed to be fond of that's clearly struggling and desperate for some help. My sister used to come round to visit, walk straight into the kitchen and start loading the washing machine while making me a cup of tea when my first baby was tiny. That's the kind of help you need.

oligeo

Give yourself a break and stop worrying! 6 weeks is hardly anytime at all to get settled into the new chaos that is life with a baby!

Don't get bogged down with thinking about the whole house/all the washing/ironing/cleaning etc that needs doing. Break it down it to manageable chunks, do the important stuff first, like making sure you eat good healthy food, you need that to give you the energy to deal with everything else.
Could you or hubby batch cook at the weekend? Make big batches of chilli/bolognaise/shepherds pie etc.

I hope you get the reflux sorted,
Sarah

Lovelyjoolz

sillylittlejill wrote: »

Btw, no offence but I think your nan was lying :P either that or she's mary poppins! My house growing up was clean but cluttered, i dont know how its possible to keep everything clean with children. There should be toys everywhere if a child lives there in my opinion!!

Oh that's unfair to Nan! Granted, my mum only had 2 under 5 and not 3, but our house was imacculate 100% of the time. It honestly looked like a showhouse all the time. Until I became the World's Messiest Teenager, and even then it was only my room that was untidy! She also made a proportion of our clothes, and she cooked every single meal from scratch. There was no choice in the seventies - ready meals were unheard of. My brother was a pretty easy baby to raise, but I had infantile convulsions and was a real handful. I think some women are just Superwoman. OP's Nan and my Mum. My mum is STILL superwoman

MadelinesMum

Hi, it takes a while to get into a routine, so don't worry too much about it. I find lists really help - don't give yourself too much to do, and you'll feel better when you start to tick off some of the things.

Fruball

HappyMJ wrote: »

So what do you do with your time? You need to manage your time better....getting up early helps....and going to bed early...don't watch telly it's a big time waster. Listen to the radio instead whilst working/cleaning.

!!!!!!? How unhelpful would you like to be to a first time mum of a new baby???

sonastin wrote: »

First thing to do is stop stressing about not having time to get stuff done - its amazing how much time gets lost in worrying about finding time!

Secondly, its only been 6 weeks. Give it time. You'll evolve into a routine that works for you soon enough. Even if it involves the house being more messy than it used to be. That's what having kids can do to your life!

Thirdly, if it is reflux and if it is anything like my brother's little girl, you'll be spending twice as long feeding him and twice as long getting him down as your friends are with theirs. Don't waste your time comparing lifestyles. They'll have other troubles to face at some point along the way and they'll look at you coping and wonder "how on earth does she manage when we can't". I'm not going to offer advice on how to cope with the reflux as every little one is different but my niece has long since found other ways to give my brother sleepless nights! The doc will be able to give you advice on how to deal with it and you'll be through it in no time. Don't let the stress of coping with everything be the only thing you remember about your son's first few weeks.

Lastly, your nan is probably wearing very large rose-tinted specs. That and you're trying to compare apples and oranges. Her house was probably tidy because she probably owned a fraction of the stuff that you do, so much less to get out of place. She probably cooked from scratch because the alternative was starvation. Go back in a time machine and offer her a microwave and some packs of rice and see if she'd choose to spend time cooking instead. And kids didn't have a wardrobe full of clothes in them days either, so its not like she made a new outfit for each child for each day of the week. I'd bet good money that a lot of that effort that your Nan put in wasn't when her first child was 6 weeks old. By the time she'd had the 3rd, it was less of a shock to the system and she'd had plenty of time to figure out a routine that freed up some of her time for doing that stuff. Come back when your son is 5 and tell us how well you managed to cope (whether or not you've had another 2 in that time)!

Totally agree with this. Back then, they had a fraction of the stuff we have now which can be a blessing and a curse. I don't know how old your Nan is but years ago, boiled meat and boiled potatoes with some boiled veg (that was probably boiled as long as the potatoes!) would have been a 'meal' and not a very appetising one in my opinion! Remember, they used to put the cabbage on and leave it for hours

It could also have been the time (and my own mother and friends' mothers did this) where, as long as it wasn't raining, babies were wheeled down the garden in their prams and left to get 'fresh air' for hours And also the time where crying was considered to be "Exercising their lungs!" another one my mum trotted out to me when I had DS.

A time where 4 hourly feeds were adhered too, and the mother didn't worry or get upset about baby crying because she couldn't hear whilst she was vacuuming and baby was at the end of the garden until the allotted time was up :rotfl:

Have visitors over!!! Half of them will probably be relieved to know they aren't the only ones with a messy house

As for people appearing to cope better than you, poppycock You don't know what goes on behind closed doors and how many of those mothers have sat on the floor sobbing and calling mums/husbands for help. Believe me, one of my most able friends ended up in a heap on the floor in despair when her first was born!

When my twins were born I was almost never dressed before lunchtime until they were 12 weeks old! All that got done was bottles and feeds and our dinners. Ironing ceased, never to be resumed and vacuuming became a rare event rather than a most days chore and tea was microwaved at least 4 times before being drunk

Seriously, don't worry about what anyone else says. Enjoy these early days with your baby and everything will fall into place in time, by which time you will have forgotten how difficult it was and be expecting number 2 :rotfl: