Narcissistic mother - Making sense of it all.. :(

Alibat

KxMx wrote: »

I'm sorry you don't feel supported by you DH. Have you been fully open and honest with him about why you have no contact, what has happened in the past etc?

I've known my DH since I was sixteen so he's been around for the vast majority of it (poor chap).

Looking back at my post 'pressured' wasn't the best choice of words. He didn't say I ought to go but asked me if I was sure I didn't want to which brought back all the self doubt and guilt which left me feeling pressured to go. I think he's as aware as I am that my father isn't getting any younger... My DH is a lovely chap, as laid back as they come and never rushes into anything, which is great until I could do with him backing me up and telling me I'm doing the right thing rather than rehashing the whole thing over and over again to make sure I haven't changed my mind.

ceebeeby

So NM invites herself for coffee today. First time in my house since the Xmas debacle. You'd think best behaviour ... nope! Had upset me before she even had her shoes off with the first of the many lies she told in the half hour it took her to drink the coffee.

dowhatmakesyourheartsmile

I have a terrible mother who fits a lot of the criteria for narcissism. I have two sisters who have unfortunately also had to put up with her all their lives too. she has spent all our lives picking on one of us at a time. up until last year we had fairly good contact to different levels. Now one by one she is losing her daughters and contact with her grandchildren. I haven't been in contact with her for nearly three months and I feel so much better not having all her negativity around me and arguments arising for no reason. For all those who are new to realising their mother is never going to change, you will manage on your own. Try no contact and see if you are comfortable, some daughters do and then realise they prefer to see their mother every so often, some prefer never again! Most importantly do not think you are the one with the problem, a narcissistic mother does not understand unconditional love. You will get through it and try concentrating on the love and support from other friends and family