Relationship Breakdown - Ex Bieng Spiteful

January20

Go to a solicitor and see what they say.

Go to the police (with your receipts) and get their advice.

Go to an organisation like the RSPCA and see what they say (they take pet ownership seriously and may be able to help).

And if you really want all those things back, start taking action rather than ask a bunch of strangers online!

If the mother is as much of a bully as you say, take a mate with you or ask the police to help saying you fear for your safety.

I think you ex and her family are counting on you only contacting them, asking for your things to be dropped off at your place and they are not taking action and are ignoring you because they know you won't do anything about it. They'll wait until you give up. (I wouldn't have gone without my cats!) Well? give them a shock, grow a pair and deal with it.

All of this said with the intention of giving you a gently kick and with NO offence meant at all!!


ETA: I too find this story very, very weird! How could you accept to be put in a taxi with just a few belongings and sent away like that?

MontyOnTheRun

Suesmith
I know its strange but we had both planned on coming down here for a couple of months while our cottage was renovated.

We had an argument, she stormed off to her parents and next thing Im taking responsibility and apologising to her mother for pointing out one of her blatant lies and she's telling me I need to go down here and sort myself out (ie get driving license, a gripe of theirs - I got my license in US and now expired).

When I left we were not split up and were talking everyday and as she said, its was just like me bieng away contracting.

I dont think she had any plans for us to split like this, but I think her mother did.

MontyOnTheRun

Person One

I can do that but they wont even reply to my mails texts or calls so how do I get access to their house and take them?

As for getting rid of me - like I said I dont think my ex planned this, but you have to know her mother - I stood up to her and no one does. Last time she broke off a friendship of 20yrs because she wouldnt admit to something when she was caught out by her.

Dont assume because Im male that I am the one in the wrong because that is exactly how it sounds.

MontyOnTheRun

People should really read posts before replying!
There are so many people assuming Ive done something wrong - if you only knew you would not be saying anything of the sort!

The place was the Highlands and Im english (although Celt) - family friends of theirs didnt like me before they even met me because apparently I have a catholic name and they are sectarian bigots.

Thats what I had to deal with from day one and it was an uphill struggle with her mother hating everything on the planet ontop of that.

MontyOnTheRun

Funny how you come on here for advice and end up defending yourself!

Person_one

MontyOnTheRun wrote: »

Person One

I can do that but they wont even reply to my mails texts or calls so how do I get access to their house and take them?

Knock on the door? Wait outside until the cats are let out?

The fact that the story sounds fishy is nothing to do with your gender, its because it sounds fishy!

MontyOnTheRun

Lol ok may sound fishy but its 4yrs of explaining I would have to do.

The difficulty is its an 8hour drive there and 8hours back - its a two day trip. That is fine - I will do whatever but she needs to respond to me - all am I asking for is for someone to discuss it with me!

You have to understand that this mother is evil.

My ex told me she admits her mother makes nasty offensive comments, but she doesnt mean it and to ignore it! Now do you see what I mean?

megan01

Here's what you need to do:

Go to a solicitor. It is the only way this mess is going to get untangled. They will send a letter which will notify them of a reasonable time period in which you will come to collect your belongings. You will expect them to reimburse you travel costs. Find a friend/relative who will drive you with a van to the place, as you say it sounds remote, this is the only option. The solicitor will be able to liaise with the police to get you an escort to come with you should anything untoward happen. Any conflict will be witnessed by the police which will make things easier for you.

You need to go with you to the solicitor with an itemized list of everything that is yours, its value, and the proof of purchase, or if you can explain how this would reasonably come to yours, such as items of male clothing, or a coffee maker if she doesn't drink coffee etc.

One thing that puzzles me, is that you say that "our cottage" was being renovated, is your name on the mortgage? Did you make any contribution to the purchase? Have you added any fixtures or fittings of value?

thorsoak

STOP !!!!!FOOTING AROUND - and go to the police. You have evidence that the cats belong to you and not to your erstwhile partner?

It all sounds far too complicated .......

pebbles88

Monty,

As has been said, talking about how unfair or wrong or evil they are being hasn't, won't and will not change nor achieve anything.

The mum is treating this like everything else, as I'm very very sorry but your ex isn't going to do anything either.

You want your belongings: either go get them or forget it/chalk it upto experience

Your cats: if they were mine, I'd be fighting dolally to get them back. A16 hr journey or/and overnight stay will be a lot cheaper than an intensive driving course, then doing both tests. Will also be a lot quicker too.

Where there's a will, There's a way. It's horrible that this has been done in the way it has. However, that can't be changed now. YOU are in charge of YOUR LIFE, no one else. Stop letting others control what you do.

I wish you the best of luck, my cat snuggles in with me each day. She's a part of me, I couldn't stand it if someone forceably kept her from me, there'd be ructions!!

I really hope things get sorted soon.
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