Wedding dress code and other demands!

thunderbird

BlondeHeadOn wrote: »

I still want to know which two colours were specified in the invitation which started all this comment....


Come on OP, do tell !

Yeah, I want to know too!

Based on my past experiences of dress codes, there are always a few who completely ignore it anyhow! 'Smart dress' - there's always at least 1 in jeans

catkins

cazziebo wrote: »

Is a wedding not for friends and family to celebrate two people coming together to spend the rest of their lives with each other? It's fast becoming a one day pantomime mockery of what is a solemn commitment.

And yes, I've often found that the bigger the do, the shorter the marriage. Sad.

That's what I thought a wedding was meant to be about. When and why did it become an expensive, flashy, show off day?

I also totally agree about the bigger the do the shorter the marriage. It's ironic really that as weddings become more and more expensive and flashy the divorce rates keeps going up.

Just about all the couples I know that had big flashy expensive weddings are now divorced - a couple within a few years (before the wedding debt was paid off).

Person_one wrote: »

A wedding is a day you sign a contract, it can be very romantic and lovely but its not supposed to be a performance is it?

Since when did having photographs that look like something out of Hello become more important than family and friends eating and drinking together happily?

If you're 'very traditional', then ordinary people would never have had extravagant weddings in the past like they do today, and lots of people would have had one good dress that they dusted off for every special occasion. Lots of people still do!

Totally agree with all the above.

andygb wrote: »

When did weddings change so much?
When we were married 20 years ago, we were grateful to people who turned up - something which I said in the groom's speech.
We did not make demands of people, we just wanted them to come along and share our day and have a good time with us.
Nowadays it seems that many brides have delusions of grandeur, they think that people have to come and worship them - a bit like Cleopatra or Salome subjugating their slaves.
I reckon that some people should take lessons in humility and consideration to others before they try to organise a wedding.

We got married over 30 years ago. Very cheap wedding and reception although we did pay for all the drink (something that happens rarely now even though the couple will spend thousands on clothes, car, cake etc). We didn't expect presents but were grateful for any received. Our list (which we didn't intend doing but was requested) had items on it such as tea towels, pegs etc not expensive cutlery or cut glass items.

We wanted to get married and for us it was a celebration with our close friends and family. It may have been cheap but we loved it as did our guests.

Makes me laugh too when people say your wedding day is the happiest day of your life. Might as well give up after that then. Surely you will hopefully share many happy experiences as a couple?

SingleSue

kiss_me_now9 wrote: »

Unfortunately I'm very very traditional so it would matter to me! I think a more diplomatic way of writing it would be 'Be as colourful as you can!' - plus it'd make for fun photographs Every wedding dress code thread results in people saying the same but tbh it's a very small thing to ask my guests I think.

Peach and purple would probably matter as well because quite frankly, that is a hideous colour combination but I could shuffle people around in photographs!

I do find it weird though, at the end of the day most women have a dress that isn't solid black in their wardrobe but not many have ballgowns/long dresses necessarily.

P.S. My sister is getting married this summer and toyed with the idea of having Tottenham Hotspur 'blue' - very very dark navy - as her bridesmaids colour, that didn't last long with the threat of her being given a peach meringue at my eventual wedding Joking of course, if she'd really wanted it I would've worn it, because she's my sister, but it seems silly to have very dark blue and green as a colour scheme (don't ask!) and then make the bridesmaids were the darker of the two... so the groomsmen have to wear bright green... which none of them wanted either!

I would be completely beggered if someone told me to wear bright colours, I look absolutely hideous in bright colours so avoid them at all costs (mind you, I have said to family that when I die, no dark colours at my funeral, it has to be all bright colours :rotfl:)

I only own 2 dresses (3 if you include my 23 year old wedding dress stuck in a not opened in a very long time cupboard), both are long...one has a lot of black, apart from a small bit where it is black with a tiny tiny bit of white at the top and the other, is a goldish colour (worn once, saw the photos, never worn again )

My favourite colour is black, most of my clothes are black especially my smart ones, my least favourite pink...for some unknown reason, for my wedding day, I chose baby pink for the bridesmaids and the whole thing was a themed baby pink and white day!

Still trying to work out 23 years later why I picked my most hated colour as part of the theme...maybe I had been working too hard but it looked ok and at least I wasn't so stressed/tired to pick dayglo pink :rotfl:

Edit - By theme, I mean the colours for the cake, table decorations, flowers....not the guests!

SingleSue

skintchick wrote: »

Perhaps this wedding isn't compulsory either?

I don;t have a huge opinion either way on this, I'm just wondering things out loud.

EDIT: Although if I threw a fancy dress party I would expect everyone to come dressed up even though I would not have put 'compulsory' on the invitations. I would think it was a given that if I stated a dress code, it was compulsory. Same for a posh do, if I put black tie I'd expect everyone to come in black tie.

Oooohhh, I would have to decline an invite to a compulsory fancy dress party....I don't do fancy dress, never have as it makes me feel very uncomfortable and noticable (I am the typical wallflower who likes to disappear into the wallpaper rather than stand out in garish clothes)

squirrelchops

The drama of this thread started by myself continues!!

OH feels I am being completely unreasonable by making any remarks about the demands of the bride and groom. He feels it is entirely up to them if they want a dress code and seems unable to see any other view regarding the pressure this puts the guests under or that shouldn't they be happy to share their day with people no matter what they wear?

I commented to OH 'what would happen if I didn't comply with the 'request'. His rather lovely reply .......'that's fine......but you'll look like a !!!!!!'! nice.

So I am now being called a misery and other names for any further comments about a wedding invite that also wasn't even personalised with my name on it. OH thinks I am bieng preposterous when I said this could cost a lot of £££ and it is a lot of jumping through hoops for people I don't even know.

Teenie_D

squirrelchops wrote: »

So I am now being called a misery and other names for any further comments about a wedding invite that also wasn't even personalised with my name on it. OH thinks I am bieng preposterous when I said this could cost a lot of £££ and it is a lot of jumping through hoops for people I don't even know.

So why go?? Just decline the invitation, problem solved

squirrelchops

My feelings exactly but OH wants to go. He has offered to pay now for my outfit to 'shut me up'.

I think I will be slightly naughty and wear outrageous multiple coloured shoes like the photo above though!!!!!

Person_one

squirrelchops wrote: »

My feelings exactly but OH wants to go. He has offered to pay now for my outfit to 'shut me up'.

I think I will be slightly naughty and wear outrageous multiple coloured shoes like the photo above though!!!!!

Forget the wedding, you've got an OH that needs dumping!

CH27

squirrelchops wrote: »

My feelings exactly but OH wants to go. He has offered to pay now for my outfit to 'shut me up'.

I think I will be slightly naughty and wear outrageous multiple coloured shoes like the photo above though!!!!!

Charming :eek:

squirrelchops

I know Person One and CH27...I am fuming with him right now. I think I may have the last laugh though. He thinks he has an outfit already - a suit he bought last year and I know he won't check if it fits until about the day before. Well, he's put on weight since and it is a slim fit suit so he is going to be bursting at the seams and I'll be looking fab!

As he is offering to buy the outfit I shall see how expensive a pair of shoes I can get out of it at least!!!!