Carer on the Edge

Samsaragirl

I have been caring for both parents, both on AA (Dad higher rate, Mum lower) since June 2006.

I have claimed CA since 2010 after realising I could. I also got divorced in 2009 after 23 years married, our kids are now 25 nad 19, so no longer dependents.

I also get SMI and IS as a carer.

I have become very mentally unwell due to this role, am having CBT and counselling each week, and have massive anxiety and depression issues.

It has come to a point that I cannot put my life on hold any longer, as my mother is mentally capable, but very frail, my father had a stroke in 2006 and vascular dementia (full blown dementia overnight), and mother refused all care from day 1 and just relied on me.

It's a very long winded and rocky story, but to cut it short, I'm at the point where I need to get back in to the world again for my own sanity, whilst I still have a little.

I need to call DWP and explain this, and I know my GP will want me to go on to ESA. This is going to be a massive drop but I have to do it. I want to get a job, I do not know how ESA works, but will I get support in doing this. I dread that they will make me get a job in care as my emotions are so fragile around elderly care this will be awful. I would love to work in a shop/supermarket, but only have call centre experience.

Problem also, I,m now 48, was married to a high earner so only worked as a kind of distraction, in call centres (includiong ambulance control), but that is over 12 years ago, as have put my life on hold. Didn't think of the consequences at the time.

My situation is a disaster, just wondered if anyone can offer support as cannot think clearly myself, feels like now or never, as I will sink further.

Single old woman who has been left on the shelf and feels invisible and batty not a good look!:rotfl:

sleepless_saver

I didn't want to read and run.

Not much advice to offer but I see that the Carers Trust has a section on employment and confidence building after caring .

It's not clear from what you say whether ESA or jobseekers allowance is better for you. ESA is if you are not able to work, but it sounds like you do want to look for work - JSA is for jobseekers. If you are still caring for someone for 35 hours a week, then your best bet is to stay on the IS and CA until you find a suitable job.

rogerblack

Samsaragirl wrote: »

I need to call DWP and explain this, and I know my GP will want me to go on to ESA. This is going to be a massive drop but I have to do it. I want to get a job, I do not know how ESA works, but will I get support in doing this.

Addressing only the question of ESA.
If you claim ESA, you will be initially paid at the same rate as JSA.
After 13 weeks or so, you get a medical, which assesses you, and you may be put on one of two higher rates, or found fit for work.
Evidence that you meet the conditions at http://www.tameside.gov.uk/esa/wca#LCW would be useful in making a claim.
If you are found to be in the lower rate - the work related group - you may be required to do some 'work related activity'.
However, this should be 'reasonable'.

You can, and in your place I would say should consider claiming ESA, and then seeking work while on ESA.

If you claim JSA, you will have considerably less flexibility in seeking work.
You may be able to do a limited amount of work under 'permitted work' on ESA - to help ease you back into work.

If you will be continuing caring >35 hours a week - then you can claim ESA alongside CA, and your ESA may be topped up by a carers element.

Caring does not have to be physically looking after the person. It may be that you could use the extra money coming in to employ someone to help for a few hours a week, and take some of the load off.

Mojisola

Have you been able to make alternative arrangements for your parents' care?

Don't get into a position where you're working and still their main carer.

Samsaragirl

First of all thank you so much for very helpful replies

Have you been able to make alternative arrangements for your parents' care?

Don't get into a position where you're working and still their main carer.

My mother has put my Dad into a home as she does not like dark days in winter, but has lied to me as it is to be a long term thing rather than him coming out next week. I only know this on speaking to the care home manager.

What do I need to say to SS,as my mind is mashed

Mojisola

Samsaragirl wrote: »

My mother has put my Dad into a home as she does not like dark days in winter, but has lied to me as it is to be a long term thing rather than him coming out next week. I only know this on speaking to the care home manager.

What do I need to say to SS,as my mind is mashed

Were SS involved in his move to a care home or is he self-funding?

Your GP sounds supportive. Would she/he write a letter to Social Services saying that you are no longer fit to care for your parents? You need to contact them as well saying that they need to reassess your mother as she will now need care provided by other people.

If you are up to it, could you volunteer for a few hours a week in a charity shop? That would get you some experience in shop work and would start to give you your life back.

zoominatorone

perhaps you could give yourself some me time and go to a retreat or something?

I've been fortunate enough to do this 3 times with Jason on his retreats in the Turkish mountains, not quite as easy to do at home, but does make you feel great, and does work, lost about 10lbs each time I did it, will be doing it myself in the new year, have had juice this morning as I tend to juice regularly.

It really does work though, which is what I think you were asking. If you google it, the Jason is doing the worlds biggest juice detox, following this plan for 7 days from 7th Jan, which you can sign up for and get daily inspration etc. Have a look at the website.

Samsaragirl

I've been fortunate enough to do this 3 times with Jason on his retreats in the Turkish mountains, not quite as easy to do at home, but does make you feel great, and does work, lost about 10lbs each time I did it, will be doing it myself in the new year, have had juice this morning as I tend to juice regularly.

It really does work though, which is what I think you were asking. If you google it, the Jason is doing the worlds biggest juice detox, following this plan for 7 days from 7th Jan, which you can sign up for and get daily inspration etc. Have a look at the website.

meaning what? Yes I did go on these retreats because I was married to a high earner.

What are you trying to say?

Not helpful; sorry.

Hmm71

I was just about to leap to the OP's defence but I read the other thread first, glad I did. How can she possibly have got fully funded care from the NHS when her parents have that much in assets?

Older members of my family, cousins and so on are having to see their childhood homes put up for sale to pay for their parents care.

Either the OP was lying in that old thread or she's lying now or she's been lying to the NHS or social services.

I feel slightly ill now.

Or maybe I'm just completely misunderstanding all the posts?

Pollycat

The OP said she'd got CHC - Continuing Health Care - which is pretty hard to get agreement to as care is funded by the Primary Care Trust (NHS) rather than Local Government and, as far as I know, isn't affected by assets which ordinary residential care is.

The part I found hard to believe was that the OP said she'd got agreement for CHC but was still caring for her parents.

Hmm71

Pollycat wrote: »

The OP said she'd got CHC - Continuing Health Care - which is pretty hard to get agreement to as care is funded by the Primary Care Trust (NHS) rather than Local Government and, as far as I know, isn't affected by assets which ordinary residential care is.

The part I found hard to believe was that the OP said she'd got agreement for CHC but was still caring for her parents.

Thanks for clarifying that Pollycat, I'm not too clued up on the different kinds of care available.

So CHC is only payable if the care is provided by professionals, even if the client is still in their own home?