Carer on the Edge

Samsaragirl

HB58 wrote: »

I guess posts #1 and 5 might have given that idea!

Ah yes, now I get it, both parents on AA so not really relevant as all authorities advised appropriately.

Samsaragirl

HB58 wrote: »

I guess posts #1 and 5 might have given that idea![/QUOTE
respite care (for me as a carer) in jan

Samsaragirl

cazzap06 wrote: »

Wow , rough road for 7 years!!! ... Balance is important as is some respite for you

Good you are now putting yourself first as if your health goes more and more downhill then you won't have the mental capacity to effectively care for your parents

You have to take care of yourself = vital if you are taking care of others

So it is time to step back a bit and have some time and life of your own

I often feel batty but very rarely now I glam myself up a bit and get out of the house and into normality and have a bit of fun

I have to make my mental health my priority and sorting out my own life as well as helping others xxx

( If none of the above advice is useful I'll just keep reading it back to myself coz I could use my own advice for myself now lol )

Cazza, your input and advice is massively appreciated. My situation was so complicated, and I became so confused and depressed, living in a very rural area on the coast in the northwest, where it seems even the pinncess royal trust for carers did not even cover etc. I suddenly realised I had gone into caring 'blind' out of love for my parents as I had done all my life. The difference was now that my 20 odd yr marriage ended soon after and I was dealing with 'benefits' for the first time etc etc.

To get a job like this after so long is amazing, and to be accepted onto the degree unconditionally as well has boosted my confidence, as I thought my life was over. Was taken to a&E in an ambulance after speaking to nhs direct as they were worried for my sanity after leaving the caring role and am still under the mental health team, but it almost that everything has come together, like walking out the end of a dark tunnel.
Mum and Dad's best friends, a beautiful couple who I have known all my life, the lady , has been in the same nursing home as dad, and she passed away in her sleep last night. Am feeling very sad, she did not have dementia like dad, and was wanting to go home to her farm. Dad's dementia is almost a blessing.

Samsaragirl

notice the bullies/ regulars have gone away now they can see I am genuine. Mental health and local hospital crisis team are very aware of these postings on here though. They made me feel bullied when I was down, depressed, and genuine. This is not the intention Martin set up the website/forum for. It had got to the stage that I knew as soon as I posted that there would be a certain few who would have a go at me. Yes, I admit to saying things to exacerbate at the beginning, they were all true though, but it was because I was depressed and I apologise for the way it may have come across, to an extent. I believe that anyone has a right to reply, as long as they are true in their response.

Samsaragirl

I am now in full time work, am divorced and have lifetime maintenance from a high earning husband whom I was married to for 23 years before we divorced on good terms. I am an only child aged 48. Myparents are both on attendance allowance. My dad had a stroke in2006, and had vascular dementia as a result overnight. I took on his, and my mum's full time care from that day on, which, with the deterioration of my marriage,consequently caused me to suffer from anxiety and depression.

Although my parents are very wealthy from saving all their lives, my dad has been assessed as being entitled to nhs continuing care

So where have I lied, stop accusing me.

evenasus

Samsaragirl, you really ought to speak to Juicyloo - Your lives are so similar.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/37680054#Comment_37680054

Dunroamin

evenasus wrote: »

Samsaragirl, you really ought to speak to Juicyloo - Your lives are so similar.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/37680054#Comment_37680054

Does she call other posters dementors as well?;)

SandraScarlett

SandraScarlett wrote: »

When I read the first post, I was in tears. So much of what the OP said was similar to what I am going through, and I could immediately empathise.

In fact I felt guilty, because I am only caring for my husband, whereas she's caring for 2 elderly parents. How many times do I want to cut and run? I've lost count, probably a dozen times a day.

Then I looked at the name, and thought it sounded familiar.

Just had a massive triumph in getting the NHS to pay for Continuing Care

About time

So !!!! the lot of you dementors

Get a life!!!!!!

The half a million will be coming to me

already told mum about this forum and post and shes laughing at how easy to wind you all up. True though

Why would you want to wind people up when they are trying to help you and why are you saying that those very people who are trying to help you should get a life?

Don't you see, OP, that when things like that are posted, it makes others, like me, reluctant to give advice to anyone else in future, in case they get another response like yours.

xx

Samsaragirl wrote: »

notice the bullies/ regulars have gone away now they can see I am genuine. Mental health and local hospital crisis team are very aware of these postings on here though. They made me feel bullied when I was down, depressed, and genuine. This is not the intention Martin set up the website/forum for. It had got to the stage that I knew as soon as I posted that there would be a certain few who would have a go at me. Yes, I admit to saying things to exacerbate at the beginning, they were all true though, but it was because I was depressed and I apologise for the way it may have come across, to an extent. I believe that anyone has a right to reply, as long as they are true in their response.

I think it's a bit rich of you to call others on this site "bullies", when you admitted it was a wind-up, and your Mum had a good laugh about it as well - don't you?

You say that Martin didn't set the site up for people to be bullied, and that's quite right. He also didn't set the site up so that people who try to help are lampooned, mocked and insulted, did he?

Just had a massive triumph in getting the NHS to pay for Continuing Care

About time

So !!!! the lot of you dementors

Get a life!!!!!!

The half a million will be coming to me

already told mum about this forum and post and shes laughing at how easy to wind you all up. True though

Some of us really are going through the grinding effort of caring for someone 24/7.

xx

evenasus

I really can't understand the mentality of people like 'Samsaragirl', who post made-up stories like her's on forums.

It must be gut wrenching for you SandraScarlett.

guilds

evenasus wrote: »

I really can't understand the mentality of people like 'Samsaragirl', who post made-up stories like her's on forums.

It must be gut wrenching for you SandraScarlett.

Attention seeking that's all it is.