Girlfriend feels threatened by my friend?

Person_one

Lilith1980 wrote: »

Well no, you probably wouldn't see the weirdness because you weren't in my situation and don't know the ex concerned, who was quite emotionally unstable. My DH didn't like her contacting him either, it wasn't just me. But if your experience has been different then that's great, it just wasn't like that for us.

Well every situation is different, just wanted to point out that exes staying friends is not always 'weird' and there are lots of reasons why a new girlfriend might want to meet an ex.

pimento

If you don't have the cojones to block the ex then at least change your settings so that she (the ex) can't see your wall.

You'll find yourself with two ex-girlfriends if you're not careful.

Lilith1980

Person_one wrote: »

Well every situation is different, just wanted to point out that exes staying friends is not always 'weird' and there are lots of reasons why a new girlfriend might want to meet an ex.

I understand, apologies if I came across harsh. I appreciate exes can remain friends, I just don't think it was as straightforward in our case.

belfastgirl23

I would never say to the ex that the new GF is upset by it - if new GF hears about that I'd dive for cover! Did your ex do this before you met your new GF? Maybe she's just a touchy feely kind of person? If so, explain to current GF that she is just like this with everyone. if not, restrict access as the others have suggested.

skintchick

burnoutbabe wrote: »

Or get current girlfriend to write on the same posts "yes, I am very lucky thanks" - I'd probably do that to show the ex her posts are having no bad affect on your relationship, just in case she is trying to mark her territory.

No! Don't do that. That smacks of "I am insecure about your comments to my bf so I am almost literally !!!!ing on the wall to mark my territory".

Only do that if you are 13.

burnoutbabe

well if someone mentioned me on someone else's wall, i;d generally comment or Like it. I'd not tend to think someone who did it was marking their territory, just responding to a comment about them?

skintchick

burnoutbabe wrote: »

well if someone mentioned me on someone else's wall, i;d generally comment or Like it. I'd not tend to think someone who did it was marking their territory, just responding to a comment about them?

Not when the comment is obviously inflammatory, surely?

But then I am 36, I know age plays a part in how we approach social media. Maybe I am just an old fart?

I was shocked when my friend's 18yoDD posted a pic of herself on a group that rates girls on how attractive they are and even pitches them into battles against each other, so possibly I am just not 'with it' any more.

burnoutbabe

I am abit older than you but wouldn't necessary take a comment such as "your girlfriend is lucky to have you" as inflammatory.

I've made similar comments when say chaps have posted pics of their latest cooking efforts or say a picture of what they have got their other half for their birthdays/somewhere they are taking them. Depends on the context and what she was responding too.

skintchick

I got the impression the comments were apropros of nothing. That's why I see them as inflammatory.

But even in the circumstances you've mentioned, I don't think exes should say stuff like that. It's too easily misinterpreted.

Carl31

ah this old chestnut. Its plagued me for years

Its a funny old game, insecurity, probably the worst thing a relationship can have. Having said that I recently got married and have managed my wifes insecurities, if you are able, you need to understand the root cause of the issue, and look beyond it.

Its not normal to dislike people you have never met, based on rules or ideas in your head, no matter what people may think. Its not ok to assume because a man and woman are friends that it will lead to anything more either.

To the OP, my advice is to be yourself. You are who you are today due to your past, which includes your relationships. I assume your current GF likes you, make her understand that these people are part of who you are. It will be tough, but only you can decide whether shes worth percevering with