Think I'm about to start a massive row in my family

marisco_2

I really hope the chat you have with each other tonight sorts things out and you get an agreement of when this loan will be repaid. Hopefully it can be back with you quickly so as you dont have to cut back on things.

Whatever happens in regard to the loan I wish you and your fiance a really great wedding. You are getting married on my 40th birthday so I will raise a toast to you both when I open a bottle of champagne.

mountainofdebt

Faith177 wrote: »

Thanks balletshoes I think I'll do just that.

Thank you all for your advice it has really helped and given me a lot to work with. Think ill have a chat with OH too see what he can add to it without losing his temper lol

My brother has rung my mum and told her what is happening and she basically told him how i felt and why. He said he will ring me tonight so hopefully the chat my mum has with him will lay the foundations

Hopefully you can get it all sorted.

Would it be better to tell your OH after you have spoken to your brother ? By that I mean if you and your brother come to an arrangement you can tell your OH what you've agreed - rather than you tell your OH, him getting all worked up and then perhaps getting to your brother before you've had a chance to come to some sort of agreement and the family arguement that you were trying to avoid still happen anyway?

Faith177

mountainofdebt wrote: »

Hopefully you can get it all sorted.

Would it be better to tell your OH after you have spoken to your brother ? By that I mean if you and your brother come to an arrangement you can tell your OH what you've agreed - rather than you tell your OH, him getting all worked up and then perhaps getting to your brother before you've had a chance to come to some sort of agreement and the family arguement that you were trying to avoid still happen anyway?

Wow good point hasn't even thought of that!!

This is why I like coming here people give great advice. Thanks

pollypenny

Your brother needs a reality check,Faith.

He must know that you are planning your wedding, not cheap, and he is fully aware that he is indebted to you for the help, as well as the money.

I would suggest a decent sum monthly, £100, to help him pay you back.

j.e.j.

I suggest asking them to set up a monthly standing order to your account to pay back the money if he can't pay the whole £700-ish back straight away.

I wouldn't go down that route if they were genuinely struggling, but it sounds like they are overspending and having luxuries, knowing full well that they owe a close family member hundreds of ££s.

Faith177

Oh if they were struggling I wouldn't dream of adding to it which is why I let it slide the first year.

I think they are both young and incredibly crap with money so I'm hoping that reality kicking in will wake them up a bit

Mojisola

skintchick wrote: »

I think it only costs £30 to go to small claims court. Only thing is they still can't foce him to pay you.

He and his GF have only got to say in court that she said at the time it was gift to help them and there wouldn't be proof that it wasn't.

mountainofdebt

Faith177 wrote: »

Wow good point hasn't even thought of that!!

This is why I like coming here people give great advice. Thanks

And the other thing I would do is to tell your brother you're telling your OH what you've agreed.

So everyone knows that everyone else knows what is expected and by when

barbiedoll

Faith177 wrote: »

I think they are both young and incredibly crap with money so I'm hoping that reality kicking in will wake them up a bit

Yes, and they don't really need to bother with budgeting, cutting back and living within their means when they have you and your mum bailing them out all the time.

Be firm with him and do not give him the option of not paying it all back. If you can afford to get in in dribs and drabs then all well and good but you must ensure that he pays it sooner or later. It's all very well him owing you money but he will find that the bank, the credit card company or his local "friendly" Wonga branch will not be so accommodating when he owes them. You are doing him a favour by leaning on him, although he may not appreciate it now, he needs to start taking responsibility for his debts, otherwise he will have a problem for the rest of his life.

Maybe you should direct him towards this site!