Think I'm about to start a massive row in my family

Own_My_Own

How are you going to feel having them at your wedding, knowing they have put you through this ?

Faith177

mountainofdebt wrote: »

What does your OH think of the situation?

He cannot stand the gf so I'm keeping him out of it because he will flip.

He knows I lent them the money and that I'm still waiting but not about them ignoring me

Faith177

Own_My_Own wrote: »

How are you going to feel having them at your wedding, knowing they have put you through this ?

That's what I was thinking she is one of my bridesmaids and him an usher which is making it harder

Lazy I will certainly be using that in future

BitterAndTwisted

Contacting someone about something important by text-message is completely daft. There's just too much room for misinterpretation or misunderstanding.

If you need this money repaid you should be asking for it directly either on the phone or face-to-face. Also, I would have thought that it would be quite straightforward to just ask your mother not to get any more involved in this than she is already. She was the original conduit and should have no further involvement.

Have you read the thread over on the "Loans" part of the forum about lending money to friends and family? That's one long, miserable catalogue of hurt and disappointment.

If you can't afford to write the money off to experience then you must be prepared for the worst.

Teeniepops

I feel terrible for you as it's not a nice situation to be in at all.

If you are going to be firm with them (and stand ground) I'd suggest doing it now so any fallout from this is faded by the time your wedding cones around, otherwise this could taint it.

Your Mum is involved and it seems she is too soft with him as he not able to ask you directly and she buffeted your request for it back saying it wasn't full amount.

If they can't pay it you now and you want to avoid drama before your wedding, make it clear that when they move out, the deposit is yours.

I hope it's sorted soon and congrats on your forthcoming wedding x

gibson123

It sounds like a long overdue row! Have the argument, stay on the side of reason and let them know that they cannot use you or your Mum as their personal cash cow. I assume that you are watching every penny and doing without whilst they are having a lovely time over-spending. Why should you fund their lifestyle. Get some gumption, have the row, and stop making allowances for others.

Faith177

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

Contacting someone about something important by text-message is completely daft. There's just too much room for misinterpretation or misunderstanding.

If you need this money repaid you should be asking for it directly either on the phone or face-to-face. Also, I would have thought that it would be quite straightforward to just ask your mother not to get any more involved in this than she is already. She was the original conduit and should have no further involvement.

Have you read the thread over on the "Loans" part of the forum about lending money to friends and family? That's one long, miserable catalogue of hurt and disappointment.

If you can't afford to write the money off to experience then you must be prepared for the worst.

I know I should ring him but I'm worried my emotions would take over and I would say something I can't take back.

Plus my brother and me both wok very long hours and are opposite ends of the country so often text is the only way we can communicate easily.

skintchick

marisco wrote: »

To pursue him for the money would cost more than that which you lent him. Something he was probably well aware of when he took it from you.

I don't think that's true. I think it only costs £30 to go to small claims court. Only thing is they still can't foce him to pay you.

Own_My_Own

Faith177 wrote: »

That's what I was thinking she is one of my bridesmaids and him an usher which is making it harder

Lazy I will certainly be using that in future

Did you pay for they dress, suit for the day ?

If so tell them unfortunately, you have had to drop them from their rolls, as you have had to return they outfits, to pay for something else.

Faith177

Own_My_Own wrote: »

Did you pay for they dress, suit for the day ?

If so tell them unfortunately, you have had to drop them from their rolls, as you have had to return they outfits, to pay for something

Yeah could do that her dress was only £40 though lol