Dilemma; Maintenance Or Savings

wayne0

labyrinth84 wrote: »

I've found that the best way to clear debt/ stay out of debt is to repay it yourself.

If someone would've paid off my overdraft, guaranteed I'd have run up another! In my opinion you have to pay it off yourself, going without stuff in the meantime to make you tighter with money.

If he pays off her rent arrears, that could be read as any bill run up will be paid by him. Plus, it is very very rare a person gets evicted with children (unless with private landlord).

I'd either hand money over, or agree to things to provide- or abit of both. Clearing debt incurred before your daughter was even born isn't really your priority or responsibility

true, if she has to pay it off, it may make her think...

but the debt still needs paying...

its "rare" people with kids get evicted, but it happens...

if the debt is there, chances are they are incuring interest charges (private tenancy's state an interest charge will be levied etc...)... this could be detrimental to the child as would mean less money is available to them,,,

perhaps you should help your Ex get some debt help etc for the sake of the kid...

DUTR

wayne0 wrote: »

true, if she has to pay it off, it may make her think...

but the debt still needs paying...

its "rare" people with kids get evicted, but it happens...

if the debt is there, chances are they are incuring interest charges (private tenancy's state an interest charge will be levied etc...)... this could be detrimental to the child as would mean less money is available to them,,,

perhaps you should help your Ex get some debt help etc for the sake of the kid...

This sort of thing I see time and time again in many posts, I'm not sure why there is so much misunderstanding about CS contributions.
BOTH parents contribute. The monies is not maintainence, everybody has to live somewhere, so rent n stuff doesn't really come into it. More money for the kids? iphones and blackberry mobiles for the children are far from essential.
Paying off a debt for somebody? Not wise as good chance they will build up the debt again.

From my own episode, I know if I didn't contribute, nobody is going undressed, cold or hungry! The state would not allow it.

shoe*diva79

1funkymunky wrote: »

Rent she accumulated !!! prior to me meeting her! you dont know full facts neither me so dont judge

I can only go by what you have written. If you don't present the facts then I can only give my opinion going by what you have said.

And anyway, I would see paying off rent arrears as a priority debt that she should be paying off. Unless your want your kids homeless of course.

In any case, the original advice I have given you is your legal standing. CM isnt for you to dictate how its spent or saved. Its for the PWC and if you feel your daughter is not having any more spent on her and clearly looks neglected then I hope that your sensible enough to involve the authorities.

1funkymunky

shoe*diva79 wrote: »

I can only go by what you have written. If you don't present the facts then I can only give my opinion going by what you have said.

And anyway, I would see paying off rent arrears as a priority debt that she should be paying off. Unless your want your kids homeless of course.

In any case, the original advice I have given you is your legal standing. CM isnt for you to dictate how its spent or saved. Its for the PWC and if you feel your daughter is not having any more spent on her and clearly looks neglected then I hope that your sensible enough to involve the authorities.

Don't confuse my personaility and my attitude because my personality is ME and my attitude depends on YOU.

So ask first

shoe*diva79

1funkymunky wrote: »

Don't confuse my personaility and my attitude because my personality is ME and my attitude depends on YOU.

So ask first

You wont get far with that attitude. Best of luck trying tho!

labyrinth84

1funkymunky wrote: »

Don't confuse my personaility and my attitude because my personality is ME and my attitude depends on YOU.

So ask first

We all have different views and opinions, and a good debate over subjects/circumstances is healthy but you have to watch not to be rude. We are all very passionate about our views, and this is why we all are in these forums.

Even in the most heated debates, keep your cool... we don't know each other personally! I've had many a debate over the past few days with Shoe*Diva, we are both very passionate about our views and most are contrasting! But I respect her opinion as a human being and enjoy the conversations- otherwise I would not come on!

Be nice, we've all got our problems- clearly, we're on a problem part of a forum haha!

Stay nice, and try not to take things too personally. People comment on facts stated, and text can also be read out of context

wayne0

labyrinth84 wrote: »

Stay nice, and try not to take things too personally. People comment on facts stated, and text can also be read out of context

well said

but whilst i state that an expensive mobile isnt essential.. etc. a method to keep in contact is... mobiles are the cheaper option now a days... (14 quid for a landline, or 24 quid for a mobile with unlimited minutes, texts and internet...?)

but still... you cant come to an amicable agreement unless you discuss it with her...

i know when i was with my passsssst partner, she had 2 kids with a guy, and they had an amicable agreement (he had kids every weekend,- when she took the opportunity to work) he paid 30 quid a week for the both of them. and was on about 500 quid a week...

some PWC's might be happy to take less than the CSA set %'s on the prevision that the kids get the £ in other ways (hobbies or w.e)

but obviously... sort it out..

Crellow4

While maintenance arrangements are outside of the CSA, you and your ex can do whatever suits you BOTH. Child Maintenance Options are currently running a scheme with Sainsburys where the paying parent 'loads' a pre payment card for groceries and clothes - could be an option in your case?

HappyMJ

Crellow4 wrote: »

While maintenance arrangements are outside of the CSA, you and your ex can do whatever suits you BOTH. Child Maintenance Options are currently running a scheme with Sainsburys where the paying parent 'loads' a pre payment card for groceries and clothes - could be an option in your case?

and...alcohol. Isn't that what NRP's think the PWC spends it all on? I see that tobacco products are excluded.....that's actually a good idea....but infant formula and E-top-ups (for PAYG mobiles and PAYG Gas and Electricity cards) is excluded which makes it a little worse. I suppose a PWC could use child benefit to pay for formula.

shell_542

1funkymunky wrote: »

Please can anyone advise , Ive decided after much of a dilemma rather than pay my ex regular maintenance payments for my daughter is to put the money into savings account ! my question " is this legal"!

Ignoring everything else that has gone on on this thread and simply answering the question in your OP :

No, it's not legal. You cannot decide where the money for your child support goes. The decision lies with the parent who is receiving the child support. If the mother says "sure, pay it into a savings account" then all well and good. If she says "no, pay it to me" legally you have to.