Dilemma; Maintenance Or Savings

kingfisherblue

1funkymunky wrote: »

Please can anyone , Ive decided after much of a dilemma rather than pay my ex regular maintenace payments for my daughter is to put the money into savings account ! my question " is this legal" at the moment or no payments have been set bya court or CSA the reason I have decided to do this is because my ex is absoloutley useless with money and will end up paying off her mobile phone or the rent for her property etc. I just think if I put this into savings account (as and when she needs something personally) then I can draw the money out and pay for it. Thanks

If your ex opens a case with the CSA, then it won't matter how much you have put into a savings account for your child, because it won't count. Child maintenence is paid to the parent with care, and it is up to them to decide how best to spend the money - and rent is an excellent way to spend it, as it puts a roof over your child's head.

Will you be drawing money out to pay for a proprtion of your child's food, or the utilities that she uses? What about a comic or book for her, just as a treat? Do you not trust you ex to buy clothing and shoes for your child? Come to that, doyouknow what size shoes your daughter wears?

My ex tried to tell the CSA that he paid the money directly to the children when he was taken to court for non-payment - he didn't, but tried to convince them otherwise. As the case had been opened more than four years previously, he had rather a large amount of arrears to pay.

If you don't like how your ex spends money (and even paying a mobile phone bill is sensible - better than not paying it, and you will always be able to contact her about your child), then I am afraid it is tough. On the other hand, if you feel that there are concerns about your child's welfare, then you shopuld address these appropriately - not by deciding how the child maintenence will be spent/saved.

(Apologies for any spacing issues with this post - my space bar has gone crazy!)

shoe*diva79

wayne0 wrote: »

to be fair, paying the rent isn't bad use of the money...

but to spend the money on her mobile bill etc ?... my ex bought a brand new iphone out of the cash i sent her... whilst son was still in clothes that didnt fit him etc...

I didnt say paying the rent was a bad use of the money. The OP suggests this.

By paying her phone bill the OP can be rest assured he can contact the PWC with regard to his daughter so I dont see that as irresponsible either.

TBF - CM tends to go into the "household pot" and then all that needs paying for, is paid for. I dont keep my CM in a seperate account only to be drawn when the kids need something. I dont split my bills by a third for the 3 of us and allocate payments!

labyrinth84

When it comes to kids with regards to separated parents, it's all just a massive power trip.

When my childs father and I first split, he didn't want to hand over money incase I 'spent it going out'... As I wanted contribution towards my child I just told him to put money on an Asda gift card or to buy clothes and nappies. It was for my daughter so what was the point of a "I'll spend it as I want" battle?

If my ex (who isn't able to contribute at the moment) put money in an account for my daughter rather than dribs and drabs that would get swallowed up by bills, I'd be over the moon! Any expensive school trips/uniforms etc would be saved up in advance, and stress taken off me

wayne0

shoe*diva79 wrote: »

I didnt say paying the rent was a bad use of the money. The OP suggests this.

By paying her phone bill the OP can be rest assured he can contact the PWC with regard to his daughter so I dont see that as irresponsible either.

TBF - CM tends to go into the "household pot" and then all that needs paying for, is paid for. I dont keep my CM in a seperate account only to be drawn when the kids need something. I dont split my bills by a third for the 3 of us and allocate payments!

i didnt say you said it was bad use of the money... i was simply agreeing with you on the rent issue...

but... who really NEEDS a £500 mobile to stay in touch... an 80 quid smartphone (android) does the same as an iPhone... its a gimick with a logo... a cheap phone will do the same as an expensive phone... but do you think its fair for the PWC to rely on CM payments and then spend 24hrs a day racking up massive bills because they know they have that extra money to pay the bill off?

i have an all you can eat minutes bundle (24 quid a month) on contract until august... which i pay £2.50 extra a month for 300 minutes to 08* numbers (vodafone) this saves us money on phone calls etc... i could pay £40 for the same plan, but get the iphone... why would i? my galaxy ace is fine! it does just about the same job as an iphone would...
(plays music, takes photos, "bloggs" etc

what CM is spent on is obviously one of those things... where its up the the PWC... you would hope that the PWC would spend it on kids, but not all do...

but obviously..
the OP doesnt appear to have spoken to PWC about CM...
HE has decided that this is what im going to do.

whilst i dont like the way assesments are done by the CSA/how the csa work / the csa in general... (taking money off my kids at home to give to PWC... If i was still with PWC i would certainly not have child tax credits for two other kids... so how is taking % of CTC from them ensuring that QC is in the same position as if we were still together????)

I dont feel this is right (hell, forget that... i know its not right)
first thing OP needs to do is sit down with PWC.

they need to see his wages.
they need to consider a fair amount of support the child will get.

it doesnt need to be that the NRP pays cash to the PWC... if its agreed, it might be that the NRP pays for all clothes or w/e...

the amount of PWC/NRP on these forums it could be a good idea to set up a thread with "some examples of amicable CM set ups"...

but nah, i dont agree that this is a fair suggestion on OP...

1funkymunky

shoe*diva79 wrote: »

I think is amusing how one of the OPs examples of his ex being bad with money is by paying the rent.

Rent she accumulated !!! prior to me meeting her! you dont know full facts neither me so dont judge

1funkymunky

labyrinth84 wrote: »

When it comes to kids with regards to separated parents, it's all just a massive power trip.

When my childs father and I first split, he didn't want to hand over money incase I 'spent it going out'... As I wanted contribution towards my child I just told him to put money on an Asda gift card or to buy clothes and nappies. It was for my daughter so what was the point of a "I'll spend it as I want" battle?

If my ex (who isn't able to contribute at the moment) put money in an account for my daughter rather than dribs and drabs that would get swallowed up by bills, I'd be over the moon! Any expensive school trips/uniforms etc would be saved up in advance, and stress taken off me

This is exactly my point I was trying to make apply logic in putting money away "as we are all aware money is hard to come by these days" so wanted to explore what avenues were best !!!

1funkymunky

newbie1980 wrote: »

your problem with this is the csa is for your ex to look after your daughter and its up to her as to what to spend it on
not fair i know but someone will surely give you more advice

Thank you for a logical reply

labyrinth84

Child Maintenance is meant for the child, so I can understand you don't want it paying off old debts and hefty mobile phone bills.

Maybe, so she can concentrate on clearing her debts and pay her phone bill, you could buy your child clothes, shoes or discuss a bill that you could pay for them- Gas/electric etc?

Unless she goes to the CSA, which if you are being reasonable with her, there wouldn't be a need for her to do so?

I understand where you are coming from, but taking into consideration most of us women are not easy going and won't like being 'told' that money is being withheld until you see fit...you're best discussing, rather than telling. Show her your wanting to contribute, but also want to make sure little 'un doesn't go without

wayne0

1funkymunky wrote: »

Rent she accumulated !!! prior to me meeting her! you dont know full facts neither me so dont judge

but surely clearing rent arrears is the best course of action... obviously a roof over your childs head is better then no roof.

perhaps this could be part of your agreement... you pay off the rent arrears in leiu of CM...

labyrinth84

wayne0 wrote: »

but surely clearing rent arrears is the best course of action... obviously a roof over your childs head is better then no roof.

perhaps this could be part of your agreement... you pay off the rent arrears in leiu of CM...

I've found that the best way to clear debt/ stay out of debt is to repay it yourself.

If someone would've paid off my overdraft, guaranteed I'd have run up another! In my opinion you have to pay it off yourself, going without stuff in the meantime to make you tighter with money.

If he pays off her rent arrears, that could be read as any bill run up will be paid by him. Plus, it is very very rare a person gets evicted with children (unless with private landlord).

I'd either hand money over, or agree to things to provide- or abit of both. Clearing debt incurred before your daughter was even born isn't really your priority or responsibility