dont feel anything for him now

piglet25

I may be wrong but I am almost certain that a joint tenancy automatically goes to a single tenancy for whoever has custody of the children in the event of a relationship breakdown, reason being they would have to rehouse the person with the kids.
Speak to the council, they can get orders to keep him away.
And tell him to !!!! off, hes a using bully who is using you as a doormat and you can do so much better than he ever will, and you and your children will be happier without him. Yes, kids need fathers, but not manipulative and bullying ones - better off without.
Good luck

mummy2lj

well just told him everything and that I cant be bothered with this anymore and he just said I must have read some rubbish to make me paranoid and turned it round to me. Hes gone off downstairs to ignore me now, apparently Iv been fine recnetly and tonight iv turned on him. He hasnt noticed me being off with him and pulling away for weeks then

Lilith1980

He is bound to turn it round onto you, that absolves him of any blame/responsibility whatsoever.

Stand your ground, he isn't listening so plough ahead to make plans to get on with your life without him. He will probably stop playing the 'You're paranoid' card when things get serious and then he will start begging you to stay with him.

tenke

mummy2lj wrote: »

well just told him everything and that I cant be bothered with this anymore and he just said I must have read some rubbish to make me paranoid and turned it round to me. Hes gone off downstairs to ignore me now, apparently Iv been fine recnetly and tonight iv turned on him. He hasnt noticed me being off with him and pulling away for weeks then

Oh my God!:eek: This sounds like manipulative behavior of the worst calibre !!:eek:
He knows he is in the wrong and still it's you who is " crazy or paranoid"??

I'm lost for words but you definitely need to stand your ground, "ignoring and childish behaviour" will not solve this..:(:(
I really hope something makes him come to his senses and discuss in an adult way, what is the best way to do things for you both

mummy2lj

he has before. He uses "you want to throw everytihng away for something stupid" or uses the kids to make me stay. He has 2 choices, either I stay here and he goes somewhere else and he can see the kids whenever he wants and they stay settled, or I move 30+ miles away to be nearer to my dad who would help me and it will be harder for him to see the boys then.
Il try to contact the council monday to see where I stand, he works nights mon-tues then off weds and thurs and working 6am fri through to sunday so I wont get much time to phone

life_unexpected_2

I agree with what other have said go speak with Women's Aid, as from what you have said about his behaviour, although he isn't physically violent towards you, he is using emotional blackmail to make you stay. Also he appears to up the anti by throwing tantrums and smashing the flat up when he feels he is loosing control of the situation.
Also women's aid can look at supporting you in obtaining an injunction . You could apply to get an occupation order, o exclude your partner from the property and to give you the right to live there.

Jinx

mummy2lj wrote: »

he has before. He uses "you want to throw everytihng away for something stupid" or uses the kids to make me stay. He has 2 choices, either I stay here and he goes somewhere else and he can see the kids whenever he wants and they stay settled, or I move 30+ miles away to be nearer to my dad who would help me and it will be harder for him to see the boys then.
Il try to contact the council monday to see where I stand, he works nights mon-tues then off weds and thurs and working 6am fri through to sunday so I wont get much time to phone

There is something to be said for not staying in the same place, if you move and he has not lived in the current place he will not feel the same 'carte blanche' to breeze in like he still lives there.

Also an effort would be required to see the kids, no bad thing in my book.

And if your dad can help then all to the good

C_Mababejive

Bin him. He doesnt sound like a man.

mummy2lj

bin men have been
he was actually quite calm and listened and said he still loved me and swore on the boys lives he did and would never go with anyone else and cheat. But iv told him I dont love himlike I used to and dont feel like I did and im not happy and he accepted it. Hes going to sleep in ds1 room in the spare bed til his brother leaves their parents house then he'll move there. Might be a while but I hope not. Wer going to do our own things. I need to ask what wer doing with bills and things. We should keep as they are then when he moves in home again Il switch it all over. Il phone council monday about the tenancy bing soley in my name and will need to find out some info on other benefits when the time comes.
I think il miss a cuddle and someone to be close to but its for the best. Iv emailed my dad who will probably worry about me. I should be ok for money when the time comes right? Iv done benefit checks and I should be fine until boys are older and I can get a job around school/nursery hours. I want us both to find people we 100% love as I want to be treated right and know im loved. He deserves to be happy too. Thank you everyone for tonight youv helped so much x

will.i.amnt

"suspitious".

Really?