moving in together or not as the case maybe.

beaconhead

Trinitrotoluene wrote: »

I came here to tell you that was clearly wrong until I looked into it first and found that you are right, even if there is shared custody of 50% the "none resident parent" parent still gets screwed.

How ridiculous the law is in this case.

Its appalling, he has shared residency and pays for half of everything + maintenance leaving him barely able to afford his own mortgage and bills with out having to help me with mine. Looks like we will have to remain in separate towns until we can get better jobs.

justlooking2012

beaconhead wrote: »

justlooking2012 wrote: »

No, but there is a price on raising children and living in "bigger" houses[/QUOTE

Unfortunately I didn't for-sea my husband leaving me nor falling in love with a man with Children.

The bit about your partner having to pay when he has half the care is silly, but it's no more wrong than what you are trying to engineer. Basically you want to live with him as a couple while you receive benefits(whatever ones they are still benefits in my eyes) just so that you and him can save up for a bigger house.

princessdon

beaconhead wrote: »

Its appalling, he has shared residency and pays for half of everything + maintenance leaving him barely able to afford his own mortgage and bills with out having to help me with mine. Looks like we will have to remain in separate towns until we can get better jobs.

he doesn't have to pay that - I sugest you head over the the maintenace board.

If he is having them 50% he shouldn't be paying that - bar what he wants.

paddedjohn

he pays for his kids, is your ex chipping in for his?

Gentile

beaconhead wrote: »

My boyfriend owns a house which a number of years ago he divided into a semi detached and rented out. We are thinking of moving in and temporally re instating 2 doors to allow free movement between houses. We would be individually responsible for the council tax, utility bills, insurances, tv licence, stocking kitchen etc on our own sides and I would pay rent to him for my side to pay towards the mortgage but would both have free access to each others house. I don't know how long this arrangement would last but would it be seen as moving in together for tax credit purposes. We both work full time but he cant afford to make up the shortfall that I would loose in Tax credits if we lived together (mainly because his own children spend half the week with him and he has their living expenses to pay for and can not claim TC or CB as his ex wife claims these)

Is there some kind of secret underground network of mums who are being given these ideas ?

Its staggering that you think you can fiddle around the system, pretend to live apart on paper and put in doors in between houses so you both can have sex whenever you feel like it. Why should the tax payer pick up your tab ? Tell your BF to sell the house, bank the money, rent a place that is sufficient for you and try and get a better paying job and pay for the family. Stop popping out kids that you both cannot afford and start living a frugal life style because that is what the majority of tax payers are doing currently.

FBaby

The reality is that when you become separated from the father of your children, whether single or getting together with a partner who also has financial responsibility for children, your hands are tied.

You want your cake and it it, the flexibility and luxury of starting a new business and living with your partner, but without him having to support you.

I too was a single mum and then moved with my partner. The father of my children doesn't pay a penny towards our children. I would love to be able to pack in my job and look at starting my own business. I have a very good idea what I would like to do....but we just can't afford it. My partner finds himself much poorer than he was before we met, and I find myself with less opportunities because I can't rely on tax payers to finance my choices (and rightly so). That's life and we accept it because we are together and much happier as a family this way.

Gentile

FBaby wrote: »

The reality is that when you become separated from the father of your children, whether single or getting together with a partner who also has financial responsibility for children, your hands are tied.

You want your cake and it it, the flexibility and luxury of starting a new business and living with your partner, but without him having to support you.

I too was a single mum and then moved with my partner. The father of my children doesn't pay a penny towards our children. I would love to be able to pack in my job and look at starting my own business. I have a very good idea what I would like to do....but we just can't afford it. My partner finds himself much poorer than he was before we met, and I find myself with less opportunities because I can't rely on tax payers to finance my choices (and rightly so). That's life and we accept it because we are together and much happier as a family this way.

The system should be set up in such a way that staying together as family is more beneficial than staying single. Having said that, when people start getting money thrown at them for not working they tend to find any possible loop hole in the system. If married couples start getting more dosh from govt they will all clamber to get married "on paper".

FBaby

Gentile wrote: »

The system should be set up in such a way that staying together as family is more beneficial than staying single. Having said that, when people start getting money thrown at them for not working they tend to find any possible loop hole in the system. If married couples start getting more dosh from govt they will all clamber to get married "on paper".

Indeed, but I also think that as a society we are becoming more and more spoilt, assuming that because we want something, we are entitled to it.

How many times do we read here 'we wanted another child, it is our right' or 'I gave up my well paid job to become self-employed because my job was stressing me, it's my right', or 'I wanted to go back to uni because I chose not to study before having 5 kids, but now I want to, it's my right' etc...

I would love to be self-employed but I know it won't happen. It's ok, I can't get everything I want in life but that doesn't mean I can't be happy with what I do have or aspire to things using my own powers without relying on others to achieve my goals.

dundeediva

FBaby wrote: »

Indeed, but I also think that as a society we are becoming more and more spoilt, assuming that because we want something, we are entitled to it.

How many times do we read here 'we wanted another child, it is our right' or 'I gave up my well paid job to become self-employed because my job was stressing me, it's my right', or 'I wanted to go back to uni because I chose not to study before having 5 kids, but now I want to, it's my right' etc...

I would love to be self-employed but I know it won't happen. It's ok, I can't get everything I want in life but that doesn't mean I can't be happy with what I do have or aspire to things using my own powers without relying on others to achieve my goals.

Totally agree with the above, well said Fbaby!!! :T

I think most of us who work in full time employment would love to become self employed and not have to answer to anyone, be our own boss etc. I for one would love to, I even have a small head start as have been doing what I love as a hobby for about 2 years. I looked into turning it into a business but guess what? I can't afford it! I didnt look at any of these benefit websites or calculators as i'm not a benefit baby who expects to get money for nothing. I have to work full time to afford my mortgage and my current lifestyle. Its a shame others can't do the same instead of relying on other taxpayers to fund their "single" but living with partner lifestyles.

Gentile

dundeediva wrote: »

Totally agree with the above, well said Fbaby!!! :T

I think most of us who work in full time employment would love to become self employed and not have to answer to anyone, be our own boss etc. I for one would love to, I even have a small head start as have been doing what I love as a hobby for about 2 years. I looked into turning it into a business but guess what? I can't afford it! I didnt look at any of these benefit websites or calculators as i'm not a benefit baby who expects to get money for nothing. I have to work full time to afford my mortgage and my current lifestyle. Its a shame others can't do the same instead of relying on other taxpayers to fund their "single" but living with partner lifestyles.

Well the government "encourages" it, if it means they get the votes in the next election. Its all about tactics to stay in power.

It used to be the case that being on benefits was a social stigma but now its a matter of pride since it enables a lifestyle of ipods/ipads/iphones and Sky without really have to do any hard work.

Its amazing the number of times I hear the words " I am better off on benefits than working full time " here on MSE/ in real life conversations/ in other forums.

The entire set up is s complete and utter farce.