Universal Credit changes...CSA?

wayne0

@Kevin
housing benefit is a local benefit currently but will be made into the universal credits, just like CTC/WTC.

only Council tax benefit will be administered by a local council.

the issue is, legally the CSA cant touch HB (legislation) at the moment... but once its part of UC, will they be able to?

after all, they can take away from CTC / WTC ETC...

this is what many NRP's who are struggling to live on X amount less a week and support their second families are worried about.

labyrinth84

clearingout wrote: »

Plenty of people work hard and struggle to pay the bills. Few people who are unemployed for any length of time have luxuries or 'lifestyle'. Much depends on how you define 'luxuries' and 'lifestyle', I guess. If she can afford holidays, cars and a social life, the chance are there is support from her family in some way. I have three children and survived on benefits for a couple of years. I maintained a car, yes. I did do holidays during that time, but my mum paid for them. She also paid for essential work to be done on my house. To the outside world, I am sure it looked like 'single mum getting a small fortune' but you have no idea of the juggling I did, the personal stuff I sold on ebay, the jewellery that went to Hatton Garden Metals etc. etc. to pay for it all. You also have no idea of the things that need doing in the house that I am still trying to catch up with - for 3 years now I have been unblocking my drains by hand, for example, (yuk!) and they definately need doing professionally as they keep blocking...but I plug away at it and I keep on managing...!

If she is threatening no access, that can be dealt with by the courts. Few PWC who are used to the NRP having regular access actually like it when they suddenly can't go out - I would hazard a guess, access would start again pretty quickly! And if it didn't, the courts can help. You don't need a solicitor - Families Need Fathers and Wikivorce.com can both help with self-repping in court.

Don't leave a good relationship for the sake of an ex who has a life you can do nothing about. Think of you as well as your child. Support and love and kindness are important in life.

Yes, I'm sure there must be more struggling than PWC lets on. Though, she is the type to make snide comments about what we haven't got and has made known that she gets in benefits more than what I get in wages. She demands clothing for the children, she won't buy them any. Yet she is dressed very well. She is one of the mothers who sorts herself out first and foremost...then the kids are left to us. We would have the kids living with us!

I wasn't considering leaving the relationship, more just living separately like we did at the start- when all this didn't have a knock on effect with our relationship and stress levels thought maybe that way would be better financially for my child, but also take the stress shared away.

I suppose I will just hold my head up high, not only do I work hard to pay to keep a roof over my kids head, I work hard to provide the other children with the things their mother won't. She stands in the way of access, I pay £90 to make access possible and regular.Being skint is worthwhile when you think of it like that!

shoe*diva79

If you earn more then our partner, tax credits shouldn't be taken i to consideration. He should have a 15% reduction on his net earnings before 20% of the remaining is deducted for CM. Of course, there should be further reductions for overnight stays with your partner as well. Does your partner have arrears he is paying?

As clearing out said, try not to compare lifestyles. You don't know the ins and outs of her situation - she could be in debt up to her eyeballs!

labyrinth84

shoe*diva79 wrote: »

If you earn more then our partner, tax credits shouldn't be taken i to consideration. He should have a 15% reduction on his net earnings before 20% of the remaining is deducted for CM. Of course, there should be further reductions for overnight stays with your partner as well. Does your partner have arrears he is paying?

As clearing out said, try not to compare lifestyles. You don't know the ins and outs of her situation - she could be in debt up to her eyeballs!

Working Tax is exempt from their calculations (If Partner earns more) but Child Tax isn't. They add the amount paid weekly in Child Tax to the amount he earns to push it up a percentage bracket.

The first CSA employee I spoke to said they do in fact take into consideration the £90 per fortnight fuel costs to see the children (they live 120miles away after mother moved back to her hometown), then every other employee says they no longer take access costs into consideration. Clearly maintaining a relationship between father and children is no where near as important as the money!

There are no arrears on the case, up until May we were paying her through bank transfer (and at a higher amount than the CSA decided) but she decided she wanted more, plus clothing and wanted us to contribute to the birthday/xmas presents she bought them, aswel as what we get them. She also stopped them coming to stay for a couple of weeks because we didn't give her spending money for the holiday to the canary islands she had with the children. She had arranged with us, for us to travel up to collect them Christmas Day evening...then changed her mind at last minute 'because she can'.

I suppose CSA payment increase or not, we're always going to have problems with this woman. When she's not shouting about her 'entitlements' she's attempting to make things difficult.

Now with CSA wanting to charge both parents for using the service, she'll probably want to revert back to the amicable bank transfer maintenance...!

kevin137

labyrinth84 wrote: »

Now with CSA wanting to charge both parents for using the service, she'll probably want to revert back to the amicable bank transfer maintenance...!

Not happening for a while, but if she does, tell her you will only change back with agreed to terms in writing for contact with visits, stays and holidays taken into consideration. And if she doesn't you are more than happy to stay with the CSA simply because you do not trust her...!

clearingout

I also think sometimes we have it all wrong when it comes to exs and new relationships. When my ex and I were first together, I worked three jobs and between us we built our careers and then a business till we earnt good money and had a lovely house and decent cars on the driveway and a second property as investment. I don't think it ever occured to us to look to our neighbours and think 'hmmm....they don't work as hard as we do yet they live in the same street in the same size house and how do they manage it when he's only a....builder/plumber/cleaner/teacher/whatever.....' We just pushed forwards towards what we thought was acceptable for us.

When relationships breakdown, there does seem to be a 'need' to look at the ex and think 'he/she's got more than me and that's not fair'. It's a two way process - NRPs not wanting to pay maintenance 'cos she lives a good lifestyle with the new partner/gets all the benefits/ had more children....PWC demanding more 'cos the NRP lives a good lifestyle with the new partner/has a new car on the driveway/gave the kids an Xbox for Xmas.......

My ex works hard. He made his career choices as I made mine. His career choices were (and still are) far more lucrative than mine. I can't expect to live the life he lives. I might get lucky and win the lottery or meet a man who earns more than my ex. I don't expect my ex to contribute anything other than what the CSA say he should contribute, no matter how many holidays abroad he has a year (in fact, I'd settle for less than the CSA figures if he'd actually pay it!). Similarly, I don't expect him to look at any new partner of mine as a cash cow which relieves him of his financial responsiblity towards his children. I don't expect him to be jealous of me and my life and I'm certainly not jealous of the life he leads, precisely because I know he works hard and he earns what he should earn in relation to his qualifications, experience and hours he puts in.

I made my choices and sadly, a major one (my marriage) didn't work out. My work choices don't pay much and unfortunately, taking time out to have children didn't help what I earn either. But I just don't see any other way forward other than accepting that. Life is too damn short to be looking over our shoulders with our tounges hanging out thinking 'if only I had that...' I honestly don't get why people do. Just pay the maintenance, and ignore the rest 'cos you have no influence over it whatsoever.

clearingout

labyrinth84 wrote: »

There are no arrears on the case, up until May we were paying her through bank transfer (and at a higher amount than the CSA decided) but she decided she wanted more, plus clothing and wanted us to contribute to the birthday/xmas presents she bought them, aswel as what we get them. She also stopped them coming to stay for a couple of weeks because we didn't give her spending money for the holiday to the canary islands she had with the children. She had arranged with us, for us to travel up to collect them Christmas Day evening...then changed her mind at last minute 'because she can'.

I suppose CSA payment increase or not, we're always going to have problems with this woman. When she's not shouting about her 'entitlements' she's attempting to make things difficult.

Now with CSA wanting to charge both parents for using the service, she'll probably want to revert back to the amicable bank transfer maintenance...!

Labrynith, I say a lot of negative things about my ex but the one positive thing about both of us as a separated couple is that we take no crap from each other! My ex doesn't pay maintenance, but even if he did, there is no way on earth he would tolerate me making demands for more money or anything else. He made his choice in no longer wanting to be married to me and I accepted it (after a lot of weeping and wailing, I admit!).

Both halves of a couple are responsible for their relationship with their children. Personally, I think that means financially as well. Pay the maintenance, be open to discussion about other big items that might come up (foreign holiday school trips, for example) but essentially, you buy everything separately and that's the end of it.

You can put a stop to the ex making demands and intruding into your life in the way she is by refusing to interact with it. Your partner needs to decide what separation/divorce means for him and his children and build it from there. Keep saying the same stuff until it gets through to her. Don't back down. Don't change your mind. Just be reasonable. It's hard to argue and fight with someone who is reasonable. I am pretty much certain she won't stop contact if she doesn't get her own way. And if she does, you just need to have researched what to do and put that into action.

labyrinth84

clearingout wrote: »

I also think sometimes we have it all wrong when it comes to exs and new relationships. When my ex and I were first together, I worked three jobs and between us we built our careers and then a business till we earnt good money and had a lovely house and decent cars on the driveway and a second property as investment. I don't think it ever occured to us to look to our neighbours and think 'hmmm....they don't work as hard as we do yet they live in the same street in the same size house and how do they manage it when he's only a....builder/plumber/cleaner/teacher/whatever.....' We just pushed forwards towards what we thought was acceptable for us.

When relationships breakdown, there does seem to be a 'need' to look at the ex and think 'he/she's got more than me and that's not fair'. It's a two way process - NRPs not wanting to pay maintenance 'cos she lives a good lifestyle with the new partner/gets all the benefits/ had more children....PWC demanding more 'cos the NRP lives a good lifestyle with the new partner/has a new car on the driveway/gave the kids an Xbox for Xmas.......

My ex works hard. He made his career choices as I made mine. His career choices were (and still are) far more lucrative than mine. I can't expect to live the life he lives. I might get lucky and win the lottery or meet a man who earns more than my ex. I don't expect my ex to contribute anything other than what the CSA say he should contribute, no matter how many holidays abroad he has a year (in fact, I'd settle for less than the CSA figures if he'd actually pay it!). Similarly, I don't expect him to look at any new partner of mine as a cash cow which relieves him of his financial responsiblity towards his children. I don't expect him to be jealous of me and my life and I'm certainly not jealous of the life he leads, precisely because I know he works hard and he earns what he should earn in relation to his qualifications, experience and hours he puts in.

I made my choices and sadly, a major one (my marriage) didn't work out. My work choices don't pay much and unfortunately, taking time out to have children didn't help what I earn either. But I just don't see any other way forward other than accepting that. Life is too damn short to be looking over our shoulders with our tounges hanging out thinking 'if only I had that...' I honestly don't get why people do. Just pay the maintenance, and ignore the rest 'cos you have no influence over it whatsoever.

I've never looked at anyone and begrudged what they have. However, never before has anyones lifestyle been at the expense of mine/my childs.

I will be standing my ground though. Maintenance- yes. Extras- as and when we can, especially if there will be an increase in CSA payments.

Hopefully, when she meets someone herself she'll back off abit. Surely a new partner would see alarm bells at the way she is

shoe*diva79

labyrinth84 wrote: »

Working Tax is exempt from their calculations (If Partner earns more) but Child Tax isn't. They add the amount paid weekly in Child Tax to the amount he earns to push it up a percentage bracket.

The first CSA employee I spoke to said they do in fact take into consideration the £90 per fortnight fuel costs to see the children (they live 120miles away after mother moved back to her hometown), then every other employee says they no longer take access costs into consideration. Clearly maintaining a relationship between father and children is no where near as important as the money!

There are no arrears on the case, up until May we were paying her through bank transfer (and at a higher amount than the CSA decided) but she decided she wanted more, plus clothing and wanted us to contribute to the birthday/xmas presents she bought them, aswel as what we get them. She also stopped them coming to stay for a couple of weeks because we didn't give her spending money for the holiday to the canary islands she had with the children. She had arranged with us, for us to travel up to collect them Christmas Day evening...then changed her mind at last minute 'because she can'.

I suppose CSA payment increase or not, we're always going to have problems with this woman. When she's not shouting about her 'entitlements' she's attempting to make things difficult.

Now with CSA wanting to charge both parents for using the service, she'll probably want to revert back to the amicable bank transfer maintenance...!

Pay the amount the CSA state you must pay and if you cant afford more then don't pay for extras. She will have to like it or lump it! The money you save not paying for additional things use to get a contact order put in place. It costs £200 and you don't need a lawyer. Its easy to do yourself.

labyrinth84

clearingout wrote: »

Labrynith, I say a lot of negative things about my ex but the one positive thing about both of us as a separated couple is that we take no crap from each other! My ex doesn't pay maintenance, but even if he did, there is no way on earth he would tolerate me making demands for more money or anything else. He made his choice in no longer wanting to be married to me and I accepted it (after a lot of weeping and wailing, I admit!).

Both halves of a couple are responsible for their relationship with their children. Personally, I think that means financially as well. Pay the maintenance, be open to discussion about other big items that might come up (foreign holiday school trips, for example) but essentially, you buy everything separately and that's the end of it.

You can put a stop to the ex making demands and intruding into your life in the way she is by refusing to interact with it. Your partner needs to decide what separation/divorce means for him and his children and build it from there. Keep saying the same stuff until it gets through to her. Don't back down. Don't change your mind. Just be reasonable. It's hard to argue and fight with someone who is reasonable. I am pretty much certain she won't stop contact if she doesn't get her own way. And if she does, you just need to have researched what to do and put that into action.

My partner is just worried that if demands arent met, she can stop him seeing his kids. In the long run, courts can stop that kind of thing but short term, its easy for her to say no to him picking them up etc.

I agree maintenance should be paid, and is. I also think said maintenance should be used for the kids and for the things they need. We will stand our ground on this, and continue with the payments but no give in to ridiculous demands.