Sister's financial situation - what to do?

dancingfairy

You have to sit down and have a proper chat with your mum about it. Ask her what she wants to happen. As has been said - does she still want your sister to live with her? Be careful not to be seen to be presurising your mum to throw your sister out as your sister will get annoyed at you and it will only work if your mum can stick to it, otherwise your mum may feel backed into a corner and may resent you for trying to force the issue
You know the options and the likely consequences and it's up to your mum to choose the best one. Frankly what she's done up to know hasn't worked so she is running out of choices if she wants the situation to change. I'm sure she wants the situation to change but she's going to waiting a long time for your sister to want to sort it out so your mum is going to have to make the decisions.
She may decide that actually she doesn't want to start charging rent and she's quite happy to loan money to your sister (but that's her choice and you'll have to remind her that that's her choice).
Best of Luck however it works out.
You pretty much have the worst position as you are not in a position to tell your mum what she should decide and youare not able to make decisions foryour sister either
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ddebski_us

So, I spoke to my sister at length last night, just asking about her new job and she was telling me her plans for the future (training to become a nurse - she's about to start work as a care assistant) and we were on the phone for about 30 mins.

I asked her outright if she's told HMR&C she is no longer required to submit a tax return as she has been on payroll when working for the entire 2011/12 tax year. She said no. So, I told her I'd read about the fines etc (empathising the £900 and it not being possible to have it removed once incurred) and she said it was a lot of money and she'll call them tomorrow (i.e. today).

So, I planted the seed. I haven't spoken to mum about the board yet, thinking I'll wait until my sister has been paid before we bring it up (otherwise it'll be "yeah, I will when I'm paid" instead of "ok, I'll do it now").

xDx

bestpud

I don't think you should say another word to your sister, or try to and implement any changes until you've got your mum up to speed with finances.

How often can you and your mum meet in person? Do you usually communicate by phone?

I would start by informing your mum of the law when it comes to debts and bailiffs, so she knows what should happen if they contact her instead of your sister, or knock on the door when your sister is out. Last thing you need is one of the more dodgy ones persuading your mum its a good idea to pay your sisters debt for her.

Once she is clear on that and knows what to do and say (make up a quick reference card with her if need be), then you can start on day to day budgeting if she's willing.

She may not want to but I agree it's a good idea for her sake and also because she cannot help your sister if she can can't handle money herself. Even if your sister agreed to let you help her arrange debt repayments etc, she is still likely to try and get money from your mum once reality sets in and she has no spending themoney - your mum would need to know how to help her rather than enable her.

If your mum refuses to do anything to improve her own knowledge then I think you need to accept you can't do anything to change the situation other than keep talking to your sister as you are.

LandyAndy

ddebski_us wrote: »

So, I spoke to my sister at length last night, just asking about her new job and she was telling me her plans for the future (training to become a nurse - she's about to start work as a care assistant) and we were on the phone for about 30 mins.

I asked her outright if she's told HMR&C she is no longer required to submit a tax return as she has been on payroll when working for the entire 2011/12 tax year. She said no. So, I told her I'd read about the fines etc (empathising the £900 and it not being possible to have it removed once incurred) and she said it was a lot of money and she'll call them tomorrow (i.e. today).

So, I planted the seed. I haven't spoken to mum about the board yet, thinking I'll wait until my sister has been paid before we bring it up (otherwise it'll be "yeah, I will when I'm paid" instead of "ok, I'll do it now").

xDx

A return for 2011/2012 isn't overdue yet. She has until 31 Jan to file it online. If she submits in the usual way and it shows only income from employment then there should be no tax to pay and there will be no penalty for that tax year and they will most likely say that as she is no longer self employed there will be no requirement for returns in future years if her circumstances don't change.

If she still has earlier returns to file she should do those asap and state on the appropriate one the date she ceased self employment.

ddebski_us

LandyAndy wrote: »

A return for 2011/2012 isn't overdue yet. She has until 31 Jan to file it online. If she submits in the usual way and it shows only income from employment then there should be no tax to pay and there will be no penalty for that tax year and they will most likely say that as she is no longer self employed there will be no requirement for returns in future years if her circumstances don't change.

If she still has earlier returns to file she should do those asap and state on the appropriate one the date she ceased self employment.

I know all of this. The fact that she hasn't told HMR&C that she is no longer self-employed is the only thing she'll admit to me. I've helped her by making it clear what the fines are (she already knows though as she's already been charged them for previous returns). She won't even know how to submit a tax return so no chance she's going to do it online!

I know I need to speak to mum about finances, but she has no confidence in herself that she can do it. But, I will write down a list of monthly bills, note down her monthly income and encourage her to review it regularly so she can budget for herself. At the moment, she relies on me to check her online banking to tell her if she has enough money.

xDx

LandyAndy

ddebski_us wrote: »

I know all of this.Hey, just trying to be helpful.:( The fact that she hasn't told HMR&C that she is no longer self-employed is the only thing she'll admit to me. I've helped her by making it clear what the fines are (she already knows though as she's already been charged them for previous returns). She won't even know how to submit a tax return so no chance she's going to do it online!Help her.

I know I need to speak to mum about finances, but she has no confidence in herself that she can do it. But, I will write down a list of monthly bills, note down her monthly income and encourage her to review it regularly so she can budget for herself. At the moment, she relies on me to check her online banking to tell her if she has enough money.

xDx

Think that's the end of my contribution here.:(

ddebski_us

LandyAndy wrote: »

Think that's the end of my contribution here.:(

You seem to think I am being difficult, I'm not. Sorry if it comes across that way.

My sister will not admit to me that she has not submitted a tax return (other than 2011/12 which she is not required to submit if she calls them). There is no way she is going to let me help her do the 2011/12 return as this will prove that she has never done them before (otherwise she would know how to do them). She will tell me she has called HMR&C and informed them (she will not as she will be afraid they will ask for payment).

I have texted her the number to call and their opening hours. We will see what happens next.