Journey to the Emerald City...

kerri_dfw

I don't think I could put anything in words as eloquently as what has already been said. So instead I shall offer a virtual *hug* and say I've subscribed to your journey. It all starts with small steps, maybe even just in the form of having a NSD where you fight the urge to spend every minute of that day, but the feeling you get at 23:59 when you've not spent a dime is amazing.

Thank you Abundant for sharing with us, that must have been really tough xx

his_missus

I don't really know what to say, I'm quite lost for words at your honesty which can not have been easy. You certainly have no need to feel ashamed, we all have our "vices" or "comfort blankets" that we turn to when we're finding life difficult and I think everyone on a debt free journey has at some point wanted/hoped for/tried a quick way out.

You sound as though you're ready to face things head on and with determination you'll get there. This little ol' almost 40 munchkin will be following you on your journey x

abundant1972

WOW!!!

Thank you all so much. This is what makes the MSE forums so amazingly special... You! (Us!!! ).

Determined DIva - great to have you on board! Will be keeping an eye on your thread. Now I've dropped back to 17% will be spurred one even more to keep up!!! Will also be keeping an eye on your thread too!!!

Enchanted21 - Fantastic. I can see I'm going to be heading over to your Diary when I get chance. It's good to have you along... I definitely believe in serendipity... Thanks for your encouragement... and please... don't bet... it seems glamorous, shiny and new... exciting even... instead - go put your money in an ISA and earn interest guaranteed... If gambling was a way to 'make money' I guess they'd all be out of business. Just realising that makes me know that they are there to make money on our addictions. From now on - am going to try and resist the urge - and instead 'spend' my £10 wager into my online 'Money Pot' which I'll use for fun stuff at the end of the year maybe! You're right though - I need to learn from this experience - that is key to changing. One other thing - having grown up feeling so bad about being gay - it's still always lovely to hear that for some - it's really not an issue. That tells me I have a bit of work to do on my own internalised homophobia... Not everyone is out to get me anymore!!!

Uptheleft - Thanks for that advice... It helps to have these reality checks and know there are others in the same situation. It reminds me of a Zen Oracle card I once saw... showing a Bamboo and an Oak Tree side by side. It was saying that each is unique in it's own right... the thought of a Bamboo and Oak comparing themselves to each other is ludicrous - they are each as they are meant to be... yet we Humans do it all the time. I need to try and remember that. It is our uniqueness that makes us 'us'...

KarmaChi - Thanks! You just shone a light for me - in that I didn't think anything of 'catching' it as you put it - but things could have been a *lot* worse. All of the advice points to group support - but I'm finding access to these tricky as they are miles away... Self help books have worked in the past for other things so will give those links a definite follow up! Very useful - thanks.

NSK- What can I say. You've been an amazing support for me! Thank you for your kindness... I was kinda seeing you as Glinda ha ha!!! You definitely were instrumental in setting me off on this journey and seeing you in a big floaty dress and bubble amuses me ha ha!!! I think Dorothy is the part of me that yearns for a better life... but i think we all have our own inner Dorothy ha ha - and you certainly possess her determination and enthusiasm to succeed!!! You are right about never knowing what others lives are like... and I've read enough stories about people living the high life but underneath they are surviving on loans and credit cards... hell - I've been there! I'll be sticking with you this year throughout the challenges you've set... and am determined we will have cause to celebrate by the end of the year!!! As you say - Onwards and Upwards...!!!

Kerri - Thanks for the hug. Your encouragement means a lot... It's been great reading how you've blossomed on Kat's threads too and you'll be a valuable support along the way!!!

his missus - Thanks too. Good to have another (nearly!) 40 year old along ha ha! It's not so bad on the other side I promise! Knowing lots of people try for the quick fix helps - makes me feel like I'm not such a failure... perhaps it's part of 'Human Nature' - BUT - a part that needs whipping into shape ha ha and educating!!! That part will be a hardworking entrepreneur by the end of the year - mark my words!!!

mumsiemum

Hey Abundant - off to work but couldn't read and run, I followed you over from JFF and soooo glad I did. Thank you for sharing your story with such honesty which has moved me so much. You are off to see the wizard and I for one want to come too!! :j

I have #subscribed# and lookforward to sharing your journey in the months to come

MM

startingtogetoutofdebt

Abundant - well done for being so honest about everything.

A couple of years ago I had a breakdown and suffered from depression which I've just stopped taking anti depressants for. The hardest thing I found about the whole thing was being honest with people but it was only with the support of my friends and family after I was honest with them that got me through. I realise that to try to avoid sinking into depression again will be an ongoing process but I'm hoping that by continuing to be honest and face up to things I will be ok.

I am over £20,000 in debt (not counting my mortgage), have 2 kids, am single and approaching 40 and I too have gambled on gambling websites as a way out of my debts - of course, like you, I found it didn't work and all that happened was I lost a lot of money.

That hasn't stopped me from being tempted to go back on them for another go though. I haven't yet but every time an advert comes on the telly I think maybe if I tried that website I might strike it lucky and get some money to pay some of my debts off but so far I've resisted that temptation.

I'm hopeful that by being strict financially with myself and the kids I can teach them the right ways to do things instead of doing things the way I've done them (and to be honest the way I saw my parents do things who have themselves only just become completely debt free for the first time ever in their adult lives!) but its not easy.

I have a cousin who saved as much money as he could from when he very first started working and when he was in his 20s bought his first house - cash. No mortgage required and although he was very strict with himself financially he had a good life and went out with friends and went on holidays and I wish I'd been more like him.

I wish you every success with your plans for becoming debt free.:T:T:D

Happytogetdebtfree

Hi abundant, dont really know what to say but didnt want to read and run. Keep positive and well done for the chnages you have made already xx

grannyx2

HI Abundant, there is not much that I can say that hasn't already been said, I am amazed at your honesty and wish you every success in your DF target.

*subscribes*

Granny

abundant1972

Thanks for those comments since I last posted... and for your support... it's really nice to read about your own experiences, and to know you're keeping a watchful eye out! All subscriptions greatly appreciated mumsiemum and grannyx2.

Happytogetdebtfree - Thank you!!! Good to see you here - your thoughts and feelings are always appreciated, as on the other threads we are on together!

Hopefully by being honest - it will encourage others to feel ok about coming forward and sharing their experiences. Seeing what amazing - support I've had - am sure people will feel safer talking about something that could possibly be holding them back too from living the life they long for.

Startingtogetoutofdebt... I feel for you - because the temptation must have been huge given your circumstances... but well done for resisting... it sounds like you are really going to break an old family pattern and that is an amazing gift to give your children. You have a mortgage - but at least that's an investment - so even though it feels like debt - it's a nest egg for the future and security.

I sat down last night and watched both 'The Wizard Of Oz' and 'Return To Oz' and loved them both... has given me a few ideas for other things in my blog to follow.

bast

Hi Abundant my two siblings are not particularly "high flyers" but very good with money... One is fantastic... My stupidity and my oh`s stupidity with money has left us in a difficult position... We decided after learning about his ill health we would live on a boat and whilst I love it... I wish I had taken responsiblity for the great money we earned before his ill health retirement. Whether you gamble, buy crazy things you dont need... You still basically pee it away and this I regret.. I cannot go back only forward this is my second light bulb moment and I know it is my last... Best of luck to you... I will watch and read..Your honesty is refreshing and as Shakespeare said"to thine own self be true. ":)

rising_from_the_ashes

Found you!:D

Hope you've got room for a 40 year old Munchkin?

A huge big squidgy (((huggle))) from me .....

*subscribes*