Hoarding - A New Start

Catriona_P

Feeling a bit down today. Was so full of enthusiasm but very little clearing out is actually going on. Little one is difficult to settle at night right now so once she goes to bed and I've had dinner, I'm so tired I just want to collapse in front of the tv. How to keep the momentum going?

lostinrates

Catriona_P wrote: »

Feeling a bit down today. Was so full of enthusiasm but very little clearing out is actually going on. Little one is difficult to settle at night right now so once she goes to bed and I've had dinner, I'm so tired I just want to collapse in front of the tv. How to keep the momentum going?

Do less. Don't try and get it all done, just sort say, half a dozen, or a dozen things.

If you think you have to do it all it's easier top feel put off and daunted. There is no deadline, this is not to make us feel worse but better, more organised.


Speaking of organisation, I want to get some bookshelves MADE to fit our study, which was part of the build we had done this summer. If I don't sort it it will linger on and on and on. I am not sure where to start getting prices. We are going to paint the study next week and I would like to get remaining books unpacked and into there, and finally ditch the last of the boxes. I know I want them made out of wood, but pine is fine because I want to paint them, but I don't want them to look too perfect. I am going to paint the back of the shelves a dark turquoise I think, but the front will be quiter.

short_bird

GreyQueen wrote: »

I've heard it jokingly-mooted that there should be a festival held a few times a year called Discardia, when you ritually clear out the excess.

There is! and here's the link

http://discardia.com/

TudorRose

Didn't do any chucking yesterday but have just had half an hour tidying the cupboard in the hallway.

It needed it. Don't think I've done anything to it since I put the shelving rack in there about six years ago.
Chucked out 8 items & have an assortment of uselesss to me items to take to the CS. One was a can of gloss paint from when the conservatory was put up nine years ago.

There were masses of reuseable shopping bags in there. Some have been chucked & others will be used to cart stuff to CS in.
I can now fit my shopping trolley in there with its wheels on the floor & not perched on top of junk ready to hit me on the head every time I open the door.

Also found 2 sets of crown green bowls. Knew I had them somewhere but couldn't have said where. Will have to see if I can sell them before the season starts in a couple of months.

boultdj

lostinrates wrote: »

Do less. Don't try and get it all done, just sort say, half a dozen, or a dozen things.

If you think you have to do it all it's easier top feel put off and daunted. There is no deadline, this is not to make us feel worse but better, more organised.


Speaking of organisation, I want to get some bookshelves MADE to fit our study, which was part of the build we had done this summer. If I don't sort it it will linger on and on and on. I am not sure where to start getting prices. We are going to paint the study next week and I would like to get remaining books unpacked and into there, and finally ditch the last of the boxes. I know I want them made out of wood, but pine is fine because I want to paint them, but I don't want them to look too perfect. I am going to paint the back of the shelves a dark turquoise I think, but the front will be quiter.

Daft as it seem's try those that make outside kennel's/stable's /hutche's at this time of year they are possably needing the work so that mean's you get it done quick.

Mistral001

the_cake wrote: »

I've been lurking (and thanking!) on this thread for a few weeks now, and find it terribly moving, as well as fascinating. The level of honesty that anonymity allows .... I confess to clutter, don't think I am really a hoarder, tho' my sister is, and I have been trying to help her. She is so ambivalent about wanting to get rid of things: says she does, but then finds every excuse under the sun for holding on to whatever it is I'm trying to help her let go of.
Anyway, just popping in to say two things: firstly, I realise that I have never been able to have all the rooms in the house clear and tidy simultaneously, there's always one into which I have shoved the extra "stuff" - currently the dining room, and as it's quite big, is also quite full. Thanks to the thread I have been tackling it bit by bit, and can see light at the end of the tunnel...
Secondly, I do think that part of the problem of modern life is that we are so defined by what we HAVE, rather that what we ARE.
Huge thanks and hugs to all who have made this such an inspiring thread.

the cake

One way to help your sister perhaps is rather than just confess here, but to confess to her as well?

lostinrates

The cake, I love your user name. We have a pond we call 'The Cake' and dh has a canoe given by another MSE which he calls 'the icing' so he has the icing on the cake.

sjprmc01

Hmmmm.......no inclination to travel, no real ambition (I'm happy to plod along in the same job/with the same company I've been there 14yrs) no qualms with the close children, wouldn't know what to do with a boy, nothing in myself I'm particularly unhappy with bar weight, my liking of 'stuff' didn't just appear immediately I've always, since I've worked and had money spent it like it was going out of fashion, have had credit cards and store cards and catalogue a in the past but now all my debts are almost entirely paid

I can't remember anyone specific that I looked up to re the clothes I used to love watching the clothes show and drawing dresses, used to always go through my mums catalogues with my brother usually, picking out what we wanted from it....,

I think I do just like 'stuff' I like to be able to give the girls nice things they want (and I don't by a long shot spoil them) I do (did) buy them tons of clothes but they didn't ask for them so that's not spoiling if you get what I mean

We do often do thing that cost no or little money but possibly don't have too much chance to as I work weekends possibly I feel guilty for this?

I know my upbringing was poor but I did not notice it particularly at the time but even then I placed importance on clothes I can remember my 10th birthday because my mum let me buy a royal blue track suit out of m&s AND a pink alarm clock! I remember getting a Minnie Mouse sweatshirt from a jumble sale and loving it........maybe I should have just become a fashion designer. But I'm not good enough for that

Maybe I just don't feel good enough. I don't like being the centre of attention maybe I'm just placing too much importance ATM on the 'whys' when I'm possibly not just a one-trick-pony. There will be many reasons why I am the way I am and maybe I just have to stop trying to analyse it for now

Broomstick

I have a financial need to do this but, also, one of the reasons I decided to experiment with maximising 'no spend days' (see sig) was to see how I felt when unnecessary spending stopped.

Excluding standard household bills paid automatically via the bank, I am trying to work it so that all my spending happens in cash only on one day a week. That includes taking money out of the hole in the wall; Amazon (and I pay for that using gift cards, not credit cards so spending there is very small); fuel for the car; top-up for the mobile etc.

I am keeping a list of all non-food/non-essential items I buy and have a wish list as well which helps me think about everything before buying. It's keeping me very focussed on using what I have and not spending more than is necessary. Having tried this last year, I know that it's likely to get difficult by late February but I want to push on with it to see what happens and any saving at any time is good for me right now.

My curiosity is winning out at the moment and I'm also enjoying the challenge of it.

Would it help you to understand what is going on for you if you listed all the non-essential purchases you make, not necessarily with a view to curbing spending, but just to see if there's a pattern or meaning to it?

If you enjoy clothes, fashion, design etc, and are looking to fill a creative gap there, had you thought about getting involved in a voluntary capacity with the wardrobe department for local am-dram theatre, school/youth productions, pageants etc? In my experience, there's a real need for extra pairs of hands for backstage support like this, it's fun, doesn't cost and it's other people's clutter!

B x

VJsmum

GreyQueen wrote: »

I'm no headshrinker but I did note that you describe yourself as not being sensible despite recognising your own intelligence and your many blessings both materially and in terms of family.

I'm wondering if you're inwardly rebelling against the responsibilites of being a Mum, a wife, a housewife and wanting to buy yourself treats? The very opposite of sensible, in other words; fun, lighthearted and carefree as an antidote to all your responsibilities?

I hope you won't read that as a critical comment because it isn't intended to be one; I catch myself self-gifting from time to time, as if my little trials and tribulations are so special that getting through the day requires that I have a consolation prize.:o

I'm trying to retrain myself not to shop when tired and ratty or hormonal as these are the points where stuff is liable to come home with me. I'm trying to transfer the idea of an edible treat into something like some lush fruit like cherries rather than cake or chocolate, or to treat myself to a library book rather than a c.s. shopping trip.

Ohmigoodness, that is a profound statement.

It seems that we're not allowed to just "be" as modern human beings, whatever else we should do, some shopping should be a part of it. So, every time we step out of doors, we haemorrhage money. Every social interaction has to be marked with a gift, preferably expensive, or we risk being seen as unloving and mean spirited.

I think we've been royally had.:(

Agreed.

last week i was abroad with work. Colleagues had visited the same place recently. Their recommendations as to what to do in free time pretty much all revolved around shopping. The country I went to is very cheap - t shirts could be bought for around £1.50 and "designer" gear a fraction of its cost here.

But i don't much like shopping but I still went as I'd been told it was "the thing to do". Luckily for me the cheap stuff did look cheap so I didn't buy anything and left ASAP. Colleagues think I'm mad though for not taking advantage of the low prices.