Hoarding - A New Start

Brighton_belle

sjprmc01 wrote: »

It's so difficult to balance between sorting this place out and doing the normal day to day and also finding time for everyone else.

Would it help to just acknowledge that it is really hard to balance everything and it isn't therefor you being weak and useless? I think life ebbs and flows and our priorities need constant tweeking each week. And things like illness throw the timetable out of the window. You just have to chipping away at finding the best way to do things that work for you today, not last week.

idristhedragon wrote: »

ALso my beautiful new laptop has windows 8 on it and its driving me POTTY. Im far too old to learn a new system! If I wanted to learn a new thing Id have saved up and got a flipping Mac!

Arrrrrgh, I am facing the same issue: I need a new laptop but many of them come with this new windows 8 and I just don't have time to learn a whole new way of doing things, nor the natural inclination. You've convinced me I really do need to take on board all the reviews I am reading that say the same as you and look for an older one with windows 7 on it.

minimoneyme wrote: »

Idristhedragon, if you don't mind me asking about the declutterer, how much autonomy do you have? Do they really push you? I was watching the channel 4 hoarding programme last night and one of the hoarders was really upset and uncomfortable about how hard the OCD cleaner was pushing her. I don't think I could stand the loss of control. Im a control freak!

Ignore the people on the telly - they just want drama to make good tv. A good professional declutter works along side you in a supportive way and never 'makes' you get rid of stuff - only you can make that decision.
Yes, one can gently challenge someone who is paralysed by indecision to work out why they are hanging on to something they confess they don't need or want and is stopping them having a home they love to walk into.
But the work is about supporting the client to reach decisions they can live with. Part of the initial chat with a client is about establishing how they want the session to go and how important it is for them to feel in control and what they want to achieve in that session. When you have both established the sessions goals, then you have permission to remind them of those goals when things perhaps feel difficult mid session, but in asupportive way not a bullying way.
HTH

Gingernutty

Byatt wrote: »

Ginger, so sorry about your job, I worked as a records clerk back in the 70's in a hospital and I never hated a job so much. I was the tender age of 17 and was sent unaccompanied and without support to the post mortem room one day, :eek::eek::eek:

OMG...

The job I just lost and the job I'm currently doing both involve reading medical notes. At any point in the file, a medical photograph could show up. :eek: The things that can happen to living people are just absolutely horrifying!

This current job means I then have to talk to a patient, knowing what may be under the sheets, blankets and bandages and know I'm no immediate use at all to them.

whitewing

I did volunteering in medical records when I was at college. I like organising (It's only at home it gets on top of me), so I enjoyed it. I did see some surprising photos and info but am good at keeping my lips sealed about such things. (They sacked a previous person for lack of confidentiality).

I have been thro DD's colouring box, chucked out a huge pile of drawn on paper that is no use but she likes hoarding. Reclaimed half the contents of my stationery cupboard; she likes counting so will negotiate removal of 5 pencils and 5 pens on a regular basis - usually when I'm on the phone to a customer. I have sharpened everything that needs sharpening, and put aside 35 stunted pencils to move on to a new home (they will be used).

I have sent DS to family with 3 items if clothing that need repairs as they are currently inwearable. I can sew a button, but that's about it. Aunty can work magic with invisible stitches.

There are a couple of big items that I want to donate to a charity shop. DH is ignoring this at the moment, and playing with DD. I also want to cs some of DD's toys to make room for the new stuff, but again DH is is ignoring it. Silly because he does agree that we are not using things because we can't access them. There is so much loose stuff on DD's toyboxes that she rarely plays with the stuff inside. I refuse to buy more storage.

House has been vacuumed, washed and dried clothes put away, fold up table is away. I have space to tackle some old work stuff that now needs shredding. Just have to make a quick phone call first.

whitewing

Woo hoo, 1 bin bag of stuff for the cs.

This_Year

I have a headache now, I really should have gone for a walk earlier to blow away any cobwebs. Didn't overdo the drink last night but it was a riotous laugh and very late when we got in, and I forgot to open the bedroom window which I always have open at night.

So I've done nothing all day :eek: and I wanted to do stuff. OH has been a bit discombobulated today and prowling around like a caged tiger which puts me off doing anything much as he goes into interrogation mode why what when have you considered etc.

I mentioned that I was mulling over getting more details about a job that I hadn't done before and he went into full blown why do I want to do that type of work, I had said that I've the opportunity to shadow someone for a day to see if it would appeal/suit me and he wanted to know the ins and outs of it before I even know what the job properly entails! I won't know those answers until I've done that day but he was expecting me to be able to come up with the answers "yesterday"

I do think he mishears "I am going to do" to be "I've done" really I do.

I've got to declutter my lounge again, as stuff seems to have grown legs and moved in. I have c-r-a-p and j-u-n-k laying around which I'm not allowed to sort yet OH is playing solitaire on his computer.

Aaaarrrgh! I could scream.

I have been asked to refund 2 ebay people. 1 said the item I sent was broken when it arrived, I really don't know how that could be but she has supplied a picture of the broken item in my packaging. I do have another the same and it would actually be cheaper for me to send her the replacement than refund her. Just annoying as I was hoping to sell the other one, too.

The other thing hasn't arrived in 3 weeks and (I think) they buyer has been very patient in not chasing me sooner, so that's a straight refund, it would be one of the cheapy items I just pop in the post box than get a proof of posting so I can't claim from royal mail, wouldn't it!

I can feel a nice glass of wine and a hot bath calling!

Declutter? Destress first!

Brighton_belle

guinea_pig_girl wrote: »

I've been on such a mission trying to get rid of stuff that I'm driving myself mad. I've sort of dropped everything else and been frantically thinking de-hoard but managed to get myself in a state as I've spent so much emotional energy on all this, and really, no-one including me can see much difference for all the angst endured

It can in be tough when you don't see the benefits at first. Just keep going and in a few months you will.
Would it help to focus on one particular small area. E.g. today I will clear the kitchen counter/bedside cabet/corner of the sitting room, type of approach with geographical boundaries that you can actually see an end result for?

Gingernutty wrote: »

The job I just lost and the job I'm currently doing both involve reading medical notes. At any point in the file, a medical photograph could show up. :eek: The things that can happen to living people are just absolutely horrifying!

This current job means I then have to talk to a patient, knowing what may be under the sheets, blankets and bandages and know I'm no immediate use at all to them.

I've been medically photographed a number of times on recent years...and have been such a marvellous example they asked if the could publish my photo in a medical book. It's not nice feeling a leper and trying to love your own body when it is not lovely, so someone like yourself can help make a differnce by offering a patient in this situation respect, kindness and treating them as normal decent human being - honestly that really is doing a lot. You probably will never realise how you might help a patient by being like this as it doesn't seem especially 'useful'. It is.

whitewing

Chucked out about 30 plastic work boxes that are too tatty to reuse.

Also have about 2 bin bags of paper waste for recycling. This is all work-from-home stuff.

I am pleased with progress. Can't finish it today, and still have about an hour's work to do to get it into a state that it can sit in the 9th Square, out of sight, until I can finish it properly.

Feel like I am moving forward again.

DH agreed to get rid of 1 big item provided it went to a recycling centre as he is too embarrassed at the state of it to take it to a cs. I think a cs would be able to sell it but I have agreed. It is over 30 years old so has had a useful life.

Got part way through a job but have run out of stuff I need to finish it. It is times like this that I feel most frustrated with DH - if he'd helped me earlier we would have been able to get replacements when the shop was still open. Letting go of those kind of frustrations so I don't spoil the day were one of the hardest things I had to master on the decluttering side of things. Sometimes I felt that I was making so much effort to change and no one appreciated it. (They did, just not with as quick and loud a fanfare as I wanted).

I watched ep 2 of the oc cleaners. I think the TV condenses it down a lot to fit it in. I find it highly watchable - I always feel like making an effort afterwards. I think experienced declutters (and I do think the oc cleaners do have very good experience to draw on) would tailor themselves to your unique situation, but would be able to draw on their own experiences to help present things to you in such a way to guide you to making decisions that you are happy about. And I do think with decluttering, especially dehoarding, that it can gain its own momentum and have quite a radical effect because of the removal of sheer quantities of stuff. I can remember my/ parents' place being similar to some of the hoarder places but now I just have mini hoards in cupboards etc.

penguin83

Morning everyone, hope the sun is shining where you are.

I would like to join you on a de-hoarder mission. My Nan and my Mum are both hoarders but the difference with them is that their houses are both tidy (cluttered but tidy). Mine is a tip and I am 37 weeks pregnant with my third child. I have got to get it sorted. I know I am not going to get it done in 3 weeks but I can make a big improvement. I seem to have got the point where I am fed up with all the stuff I have and now just want it out - almost like an anti hoarder. However theory is great, it is putting it into practice which is the hardest!

Today will be the hall. This is what you see as soon as you open the door and it would be lovely to come home and have a nice space in front of you instead of having to walk sideways and leap over things.

Haven't completely caught up with the thread yet (I am at the beginning of Feb at the mo) so will read a page then do an area and read a page etc)

Thanks xx

Pitlanepiglet

Welcome Penguin83!

As I feel that I'm among friends, can I just say BLOODY MEN!!! Well mine in particular - one day I am going to blooming swing for him!

There's a construction type job that needs to be done by Thursday, for various reasons this deadline is absolutely non negotiable and I've been nicely (or he gets arsey) checking on progress for the last 8 weeks. It now transpires that as blooming usual he's "misunderstood" what needed to be done "had we not agreed that we were only doing x?" NOOOOOOO we hadn't I've been clear for weeks that z needed to be done and then two weeks ago we agreed that as he'd left it too late to do z, we would compromise on y. :mad:

Now he's having a strop as I'm "getting at him"...... :mad:

Goldiegirl

Hi, Penguin!

Piglet, there should be a 'rolls eyes' smiley for men !


Yesterday we went to a vintage fair at Bluewater. It was the first time they've held one there. I really enjoyed looking round the stalls - it was like looking at other peoples clutter! :rotfl:

I must admit I got two things for the house and two more things which will go on eBay, but it's quite a small amount coming in, really!

On Wednesday I got some things down from the loft for sifting and sorting. I intend to have four piles - eBay, chuck out, charity shop, and keep.

I haven't got very far yet. I was at work on Thursday and Friday and out yesterday. So far I have four things in the eBay pile, and that's it :rotfl:

But I should have time on Tuesday to have a good go at it