Hoarding - A New Start

tattycath

Pitlanepiglet wrote: »

I also find that clutter is a result of hoarding - I've got so much old stuff hoarded away that I have no where to keep current stuff so it ends up on the floor and stashed in corners where it then becomes clutter.

If I can get rid of the hoarded stuff then, coupled with the fact that I've changed my approach to buying things over the last few years I may actually be able to create some order for the first time in years...

I can so relate to this. At the moment I have 3 cluttered corners in my bedroom and 1 cluttered corner in the lounge lets hope i sell some of the stuff on ebay so I can declutter 2 corners in my bedroom. fingers crossed

This_Year

MrsAtobe wrote: »

but I did have a wobble about a birthday card from my neice, so it got retrieved from the bag . I guess I'm not ready to deal with family cards yet.

I'm the same. I just can't do it yet, so am not even attempting to. Too many family hurts to try to get my head around.

mcculloch29

"At the moment I have 3 cluttered corners in my bedroom and 1 cluttered corner in the lounge lets hope i sell some of the stuff on ebay so I can declutter 2 corners in my bedroom. fingers crossed "

Hope sales happen for you!
But if it doesn't sell, Tattycath, maybe don't keep it in the hope it will sell in the future, but CS it... Then you can still declutter those corners.

A massive plastic storage box (for classroom teaching 'stuff') that DS landed on and broke is now filling the recycling bin.

The contents have been sorted through and a sizeable number of polypockets and document folders have joined the box. Most were badly creased, so no loss.

tattycath

mcculloch29 wrote: »

"At the moment I have 3 cluttered corners in my bedroom and 1 cluttered corner in the lounge lets hope i sell some of the stuff on ebay so I can declutter 2 corners in my bedroom. fingers crossed "

Hope sales happen for you!
But if it doesn't sell, Tattycath, maybe don't keep it in the hope it will sell in the future, but CS it... Then you can still declutter those corners.

A massive plastic storage box (for classroom teaching 'stuff') that DS landed on and broke is now filling the recycling bin.

The contents have been sorted through and a sizeable number of polypockets and document folders have joined the box. Most were badly creased, so no loss.

That's the plan-then re-clutter and de-clutter repeatedly until I can see the light at the end of the tunnel

This_Year

tattycath wrote: »

I can so relate to this. At the moment I have 3 cluttered corners in my bedroom and 1 cluttered corner in the lounge lets hope i sell some of the stuff on ebay so I can declutter 2 corners in my bedroom. fingers crossed

I've decluttered *my* side of the room, OH's is still a death-trap. :eek: I'm not to touch his stuff though, as he gets extremely agitated. Even if we're in the kitchen and he's washing up, if I begin to put things away, he gets visibly upset, so I just tend not to any more. I don't know why he gets so upset but I rather not upset him. In time maybe he'll get better.

Our lounge has the ebay stuff in - we seem to be moving things out via other rooms (what was that phrase, 9th square?) and so are currently sitting in chaos city but upstairs is looking healthier. Things have to get worse before they get better!

LIR I love candles - OH will blow them out as soon as look at them. Only time he is happy with them lit is those little tea-light thingys you have in the garden (and it's too bloomin' cold out there, lol)

Goldiegirl

blossomhill wrote: »

Probably not - but could you do their memory justice (if they are no longer around) by making sure the photo(s) that you keep of them are flattering and what they would probably choose themselves? I've whittled some people down to one formal, one formal with spouse, one laughing (even if out of focus) one in their natural setting (eg by their front door, in their garden, on the beach etc) and one that just sums them up

Family I keep loads but get rid of the non-flattering

If you come across any of Chelsea Flower Show over the years, RHS would like to see them for the centenary

That's a good point, I know for a fact that my mum hated several photo's of herself, so I'd probably be doing her memory a service, by letting those photos go.

I'm quite keen to be getting on with this task. I've nearly finished grading all our old singles for sale, so I'll be up in the loft soon, to bring down the parent boxes for another trawl through. I do feel it's time for some more things to go.

sjprmc01

You know, I've lurked for a few days, feeling a bit down, feeling like I had to justify myself to come back here, feeling like I wasn't enough of a hoarder,

I know this is all in my head, everyone is entitled to their opinion and their way of doing things but, all I had was a couple of 'good' days (lists) I don't belong on the decluttering thread coz its not just clutter and its not just laziness that I have stuff/mess

I DO have issues with 'stuff' I have to have 'everything' (usually clothes) I see, ok, so I don't pick up someone's skipped holey clothes and think they will be useful to me but I have issues with buying items which this thread has helped me realise is actually wasteful and yes, my hoarding hasn't quite reached the realms of keeping decades worth of milk bottles but that's not my thing. My whole hoarding problem can be linked to a feeling of deprivation, yes I don't have a problem passing on too-small kids clothes and things other people have given me that I don't like, but that short denim kilt that I can remember wearing when I spent a week in London with OH when we were newly together, can't bring myself to part with that, despite it being a million miles from fitting me and being, I feel, too short for me now!

tattycath

sjprmc01 wrote: »

You know, I've lurked for a few days, feeling a bit down, feeling like I had to justify myself to come back here, feeling like I wasn't enough of a hoarder,

I know this is all in my head, everyone is entitled to their opinion and their way of doing things but, all I had was a couple of 'good' days (lists) I don't belong on the decluttering thread coz its not just clutter and its not just laziness that I have stuff/mess

I DO have issues with 'stuff' I have to have 'everything' (usually clothes) I see, ok, so I don't pick up someone's skipped holey clothes and think they will be useful to me but I have issues with buying items which this thread has helped me realise is actually wasteful and yes, my hoarding hasn't quite reached the realms of keeping decades worth of milk bottles but that's not my thing. My whole hoarding problem can be linked to a feeling of deprivation, yes I don't have a problem passing on too-small kids clothes and things other people have given me that I don't like, but that short denim kilt that I can remember wearing when I spent a week in London with OH when we were newly together, can't bring myself to part with that, despite it being a million miles from fitting me and being, I feel, too short for me now!

You're more than welcome here without having to justify yourself hun. All hoarders hoard different things for different reasons.
I had a lovely black and silver top for over 2 decades and didn't part with it until years after I stopped wearing it. I also bought 3 outfits last year-2 of them still have the labels on and my daughter borrowed the other one-only wore it for a couple of hours- and it's now washed and away. So between the 3 things it's a waste of almost £50 :eek: Although £50 might not be alot to some people, it would buy alot of food or go some way to paying off a bill. The worst thing is I still don't know whether to get rid of these things or just keep them in my wardrobe-for now. This wardrobe that is literally bulging with 'stuff'.

GreyQueen

sjprmc01, I'm a helluva long way from stashed-to-the-ceiling hoarding. In fact, I reckon you could fit everything I own inc my pushbike into a 7.5 tonne luton-style van.

It's not a quantity issue IMO. Say you have 30 empty clean jamjars sitting in a kitchen cupboard, waiting for when your life becomes less hassled and you take up jam-making. They're clean, they're tidy, they're contained, they're not attracting vermin or causing a fire hazard.

So, are they a problem? Possibly, if their presence in the cupboard means that other things are homeless, getting shuffled from counter to counter, getting dusty and damaged and causing aggravation to you and other household members. If you de-jamjarred, you could rehome other things into the cupboard, and increase your quality of life in the process.

It's all about the context of the belongings in each individual life, and the meaning they hold for you. If they cause bad feelings and rows, the CHAOS problem (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome), then there's a problem. If the hoard is insantitary and effects your health, then it's a problem. If it's turned your home into a firetrap which could cost you your life, it's a problem. If you've injured yourself falling over it, there's a problem. If you see your children patterning your hoarding behavior, then it may be a big problem.

I don't like to see things as a race to see who is worst (most hoarded) and who is getting better (dericharded) fastest. I said once before, on the previous thread, I think, that it's not about the stuff. It's about the feelings that the stuff engenders, and if they're negative, improving the stuff can be an improvement to your life.

************

On Saturday I was in a c.s. and I saw two mugs, handsome and attractive and only 30p each. I could see them being used for when my bookgroup comes over (about once a year, we rotate around each other's homes). I have half a dozen mugs and several cups and saucers. Not all members of the group make every meeting, we're busy women with lots of pulls on our time. If the group exceeds 6 of us, I can just open a cupboard and use the teacups. Heck, I could even serve myself from a flask cup at a pinch.

I don't need more mugs and I don't have space to keep them, but I still swithered about having them. Because they were attractive, available and cheep-cheep.

And I know the feeling of fear-of-want very well, and it makes it hard to declutter things because you feel that this might be the last coat on earth and if you ever need to buy another, cheap anoraks will be extinct or will somehow cost the equivalent of a month's salary and you'll be so darned cross that you let a perfectly-good one go to the c.s...........

tattycath

GreyQueen wrote: »

sjprmc01, I'm a helluva long way from stashed-to-the-ceiling hoarding. In fact, I reckon you could fit everything I own inc my pushbike into a 7.5 tonne luton-style van.

It's not a quantity issue IMO. Say you have 30 empty clean jamjars sitting in a kitchen cupboard, waiting for when your life becomes less hassled and you take up jam-making. They're clean, they're tidy, they're contained, they're not attracting vermin or causing a fire hazard.

So, are they a problem? Possibly, if their presence in the cupboard means that other things are homeless, getting shuffled from counter to counter, getting dusty and damaged and causing aggravation to you and other household members. If you de-jamjarred, you could rehome other things into the cupboard, and increase your quality of life in the process.

It's all about the context of the belongings in each individual life, and the meaning they hold for you. If they cause bad feelings and rows, the CHAOS problem (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome), then there's a problem. If the hoard is insantitary and effects your health, then it's a problem. If it's turned your home into a firetrap which could cost you your life, it's a problem. If you've injured yourself falling over it, there's a problem. If you see your children patterning your hoarding behavior, then it may be a big problem.

I don't like to see things as a race to see who is worst (most hoarded) and who is getting better (dericharded) fastest. I said once before, on the previous thread, I think, that it's not about the stuff. It's about the feelings that the stuff engenders, and if they're negative, improving the stuff can be an improvement to your life.

************

On Saturday I was in a c.s. and I saw two mugs, handsome and attractive and only 30p each. I could see them being used for when my bookgroup comes over (about once a year, we rotate around each other's homes). I have half a dozen mugs and several cups and saucers. Not all members of the group make every meeting, we're busy women with lots of pulls on our time. If the group exceeds 6 of us, I can just open a cupboard and use the teacups. Heck, I could even serve myself from a flask cup at a pinch.

I don't need more mugs and I don't have space to keep them, but I still swithered about having them. Because they were attractive, available and cheep-cheep.

And I know the feeling of fear-of-want very well, and it makes it hard to declutter things because you feel that this might be the last coat on earth and if you ever need to buy another, cheap anoraks will be extinct or will somehow cost the equivalent of a month's salary and you'll be so darned cross that you let a perfectly-good one go to the c.s...........

I [STRIKE]have[/STRIKE] had loads of mugs and I really liked some mugs I had seen on am@zon-they were quite large and pretty. I had bought these kinds of mugs before Christmas and ended up giving them all as Christmas presents. So I did myself a deal. I decided I'd order 2 of these nice new mugs and when they arrived I would get rid of 4 of my not so nice mugs. So that's what I did and now I have 2 mugs less to try and fit in the cupboard and a friend of mine has 4 'new to her' mugs