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Family not close

It's New Year's Eve, and my family situation is driving me mad!
Basically not close to anyone in my family, see my mum when she does her once weekly childcare for me, never see my sister and her children unless I take my children to see hers when my mum is looking after them. Don't get me wrong we haven't fallen out or anything it's just like they can't be bothered with me or my family. there gave been no xmas get togethers. To top it all off, mum has hardly seen us at Xmas and my sister has just updated her online status as wishing all her fantastic friends a great new year. No mention of family.
Is it just me that isn't close to family? This time of year seems to highlight this to me.
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Comments

  • Ladyhawk
    Ladyhawk Posts: 2,064 Forumite
    Im not close to two of my siblings, though I am to the eldest one. One of them married someone whom I am not find of and is passive aggressive and the youngest is really lovely but difficult to communicate with. Best not to beat yourself up... It takes two to tango
    Man plans and God laughs...
    Perhaps travel cannot prevent bigotry. But by demonstrating that all people cry, laugh, eat, worry and die, it introduces the idea that if we try to understand each other, we may even become friends.
  • elsien
    elsien Posts: 36,469 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    see my mum when she does her once weekly childcare for me,
    it's just like they can't be bothered with me or my family. .

    Once a week childcare doesn't seem to me like someone who can't be bothered, to be fair.
    I think sometimes it's not so much how often you see people as whether or not you think they'd be there for you if you need them.
    Have you asked them to any Xmas get togethers, or were you hoping they'd sort something unprompted?
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
  • I think she does the childcare for me because she feels obliged as she does it for my sister.
    I'm generally the one trying to sort things out. I've tried to organise numerous play dates with my sister and her children only to be cancelled at the last minute. My sister also forgets birthdays and other occasions, however I don't. As for my mum, I am always asking her to come window shopping or go for a coffee, or come to our house for food. It is either met with a flat refusal or she comes once a year, sits awkwardly and leaves after an hour.
  • System
    System Posts: 178,371 Community Admin
    10,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    Once a week childcare doesn't seem to me like someone who can't be bothered, to be fair.

    At least she does it. She might not live in your pocket but at least it shows she cares enough to help you out.
    This is a system account and does not represent a real person. To contact the Forum Team email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
  • Dunroamin
    Dunroamin Posts: 16,908 Forumite
    Seeing your mother once a week seems pretty close to me.
  • Dunroamin wrote: »
    Seeing your mother once a week seems pretty close to me.

    I only see her to drop the children off. My husband picks them up. It's a 5 minute handover.
  • Judi wrote: »
    At least she does it. She might not live in your pocket but at least it shows she cares enough to help you out.

    When we have discussed it she has more or less told me that she does it because she looks after my sisters children, and she can't do for one child without doing for the other.
  • When we have discussed it she has more or less told me that she does it because she looks after my sisters children, and she can't do for one child without doing for the other.



    Which is complete nonsense.


    Believe me, there are plenty of grandparents out there that don't have the slightest intention of ever seeing the kids' offspring, much less going to the effort of looking after them once a year, never mind a week.
    I could dream to wide extremes, I could do or die: I could yawn and be withdrawn and watch the world go by.
    colinw wrote: »
    Yup you are officially Rock n Roll :D
  • System
    System Posts: 178,371 Community Admin
    10,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    Put it another way then.

    She has bought up her children to the best of her ability. Now is the time for her now yet she still looks after her Grandchildren to help their parents out.

    Show some gratitude will you!
    This is a system account and does not represent a real person. To contact the Forum Team email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
  • Errata
    Errata Posts: 38,230 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Why don't you visit your mum on your own once or twice a week. Your legs are significantly younger than hers.
    .................:)....I'm smiling because I have no idea what's going on ...:)
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