Do you always show your appreciation to those close to you?

Jinx

I totally take my hubby for granted - we're married, together, supportive of each other - all that

But I remember reading years ago the key to a sucessful relationship wasnt just to be loving but to be appreciative of the small things - I thought that very apt and since meeting hubby have always said 'thank you' for being taken for dinner, my coffee in bed etc and will do the small stuff in return - his fave dinner - make his breakfast even when hes due to start at 6am, make cakes for his workmates and attend events re his hobbies but not demand he comes to mine.

Brighton_belle

Alikay wrote: »

I guess taking people for granted is a comfortable sign of having a secure bond with a loving supportive family, and it's great to know we'll always be there for each other. However I'm well aware that sometimes people are more needy, and require thanks and recognition...just hope I notice it and act accordingly when it happens

I've reread this statement a number of times to try and get it, but I just can't. It's not about 'requiring thanks and recognition' as such, it's just enriching to experience.
I love the mutual appreciation my friends and family engage in with me. There's not a shred of neediness in it, it's just loving and relationship enhancing to us.

Alikay

Brighton_belle wrote: »

I've reread this statement a number of times to try and get it, but I just can't. It's not about 'requiring thanks and recognition' as such, it's just enriching to experience.
I love the mutual appreciation my friends and family engage in with me. There's not a shred of neediness in it, it's just loving and relationship enhancing to us.

Yes, I get what you're say....it certainly IS nicer and enhances and enriches life. However sometimes it doesn't happen - and, to me, it doesn't matter that much.

Maybe it's my life experience that makes me feel like this: I'm a foster carer, and if I expected, or even hoped for any form of appreciation being shown towards me from the children I look after, I'd spend a lot of time feeling very very disappointed!

Brighton_belle

That makes total sense Alikay, now you have filled out the picture a bit. And big credit to you for doing that essential job I am sure with great care.:T

j.e.j.

I guess we're not like our friends over the pond who tend to be more demonstrative and will say things like "I really appreciated you doing such and such today..". I'm generalising a bit, but I think we Brits would feel a bit embarrassed or uncomfortable to come out with stuff like that. People don't want to triple-underline things as it feels a bit unnatural.

victory

I think appreciation allows us more. I know my oh knows I don't take him for granted and knows if I ask him to do something it is because I can't do it or he could do it better,it's all about team work,partnership,strengths and weaknesses put them in all in the pot and you can value and appreciate what each other does.
I know he will happily do more if he is appreciated.
I always thank him for taking me somewhere or for remembering to do something,makes him more keen to do it again and eager to please!
It's funny you started this thread because I was people watching the other day and watching a man and woman interacting she was looking into his eyes,attentive,laughing and smiling and he was hanging onto her every word,I had this feeling they were not together, eventually their oh came and joined them and the staleness,the taken for granted ,the cant be bothered to smile at you body language was there, nothing like same same to not remember that appreciation is needed to keep a relationship alive

ButlerT

Sometime its hard when you unconsciously prioritize things and things that don't offer anything in your life, whatsoever! But you have to, in order to eat,live and sleep under proper conditions, for you and your family!
But if you take it from there you can start appreciating smaller elements and moments in life that you totally missed, under routine.
Increasing the sense of gratitude , you are inviting positive karma and it's more possible for positive things to happen to you!

MissyP71

I try to show appreciation, but having read your post, think I'm going to try and verbalise it too! I do little things, but then worry they become the 'norm'.

FBaby

There is nothing worse than making efforts to please others to then feel feeling for granted in return. I believe many break-ups are exactly due to this matter. Unfortunately, when you are with a partner who doesn't show his/her appreciation one way of the other (it certainly doesn't just have to be with words, actions do tend to speak louder anyway), you quickly find yourself stuck in the relationship as you run out of choice. If you start asking or giving hints, you are seen as being demanding/nagging/sulking. If you stop making efforts yourself, youstop caring and you grow appart. If you stop expecting any appreciation back, you become used...

I think it is extremely important to show people appreciation and any good relationship (whoever with) has to show a good balance in showing it. It doesn't have to be 50/50 all the time, but as a whole, everyone needs to feel that their efforts are being noticed and that the recipient cares enough to want to reciprocate in some way.

SailorSam

I think i should make a New Year resolution to be more selfish, i've always put others first but feel i'm often taken as a sucker.