I'm alone a Christmas!

Boots888

annie_d wrote: »

Loneliness is an awful thing at any time. Odd how it seems so much worse at Christmas isn't it? You can't beat bubble and squeak though.
Plenty of people will be on here to chat to you know, just come along.

There's no point roasting a load of veg. I can alway roast a few parsnips while cooking the Turkey leg!! Plus heat up the stuffing and maybe throw it a Yorkshire pudding!

Hey Ho!! What am I complaining about:beer:

Boots888

Seriously, I do feel this is my last chance. My last bash at life.

I really want to make things work out next year to improve the quality of my life. I find it now really hard to make it on my own.

So it's not just Christmas, I'm running out of steam and I mean from my heart and my soul, not my head ( if i relied on just my head, I could go on forever)

I'm so sad and don't want to pretend otherwise any longer. But I've no choice, onwards and upwar...

Anyhow I really just wanted to truly say how I feel. It's been a real struggle for some time now but I say to myself I have to give my life a chance, even if I don't want to - I feel it's not mine to take.

kittiej

You say you live abroad yet are lonely? Do you feel this is the right choice if you are honest?

I'm not advising one way or t'other, I just want you to think and come to your own conclusions that's all.

You sound as though you have a lot to contend with re your father so be kind to yourself eh?

Lastly we'll have none of that talk Bootsy. There will be plenty of us to talk to on here on xmas day

Take care xx

starryshell

Boots, I know how you feel. I'm an expat too, but I'm an American living in the UK. I don't have any close friends here (I want to say yet, but I've been here for nearly 3 years and still only have acquaintances). I'm not all that close with my family, but I will talk to my father on xmas day. I'll be spending the day with my two cats, some dvds (to avoid the whole in your face xmas thing on TV), and a special meal from my other second home, Switzerland.

You say you moved to a beautiful part of Europe. Most countries seem to have good expat groups - well, except for the UK! - and perhaps you can get involved with them. If you're in Switzerland, I can suggest an excellent forum with active people who have all kinds of social events throughout the country. Let me know if you are and I'll point you in the right direction - I lived there for over 7 years before moving to the UK, and it got me through a lot of dark moments there.

Boots888

kittiej wrote: »

You say you live abroad yet are lonely? Do you feel this is the right choice if you are honest?

I'm not advising one way or t'other, I just want you to think and come to your own conclusions that's all.

You sound as though you have a lot to contend with re your father so be kind to yourself eh?

Lastly we'll have none of that talk Bootsy. There will be plenty of us to talk to on here on xmas day

Take care xx

No! No! I'm talking about... you know what! No at all, I've not got the courage let alone threaten it on an open forum and upset you. Naah! Made of stronger stuff, - but I do have a struggle as I really do have to start over from scratch:eek::eek::eek:

Yes I think I made a mistake moving here, I won't deny that. I think my intentions were good and I still think moving abroad was a good move, however I made choices that I wouldn't make now had I known what I do now. I made those decisions whilst in turmoil and so cannot regret them - it is what it is.

It's hard to explain that my glass is half full because of moving here and yet I feel empty, as I say Indifferent.

I couldn't go back, no way. Nothing to go back to or for so that's out of the question. I've made my bed, I have to lie in it and make of it what I can, I'm just more petrified than I've ever been because it matters so much that it works out for me.

It all comes down to not having what I need right now which is love and support from friends and family. Ironic, that I ran away to find solitude!!!

I think it's just a phase, cause it's Christmas I'm feeling sensitive. I'll be fine once life gets back to normal for the majority, ie about the 6th January.

Boots888

starryshell wrote: »

Boots, I know how you feel. I'm an expat too, but I'm an American living in the UK. I don't have any close friends here (I want to say yet, but I've been here for nearly 3 years and still only have acquaintances). I'm not all that close with my family, but I will talk to my father on xmas day. I'll be spending the day with my two cats, some dvds (to avoid the whole in your face xmas thing on TV), and a special meal from my other second home, Switzerland.

You say you moved to a beautiful part of Europe. Most countries seem to have good expat groups - well, except for the UK! - and perhaps you can get involved with them. If you're in Switzerland, I can suggest an excellent forum with active people who have all kinds of social events throughout the country. Let me know if you are and I'll point you in the right direction - I lived there for over 7 years before moving to the UK, and it got me through a lot of dark moments there.

Argh! I appreciate your post. But no, the last thing i want to do is make friends with the english ex-pats down here. They are vile, sorry, but its true.

I didn't really review the area I've ended up in (my mistake) but suffice to say, though it's surrounded by beautiful countryside it's full of mainly drunken pensioners. Expats that are all running away from thier lives ( much like myself only a lot older) There's no-one of my age, only a few that I've nothing in common with. It's also a hot tourist spot so it's a very transient group of people that come again year after year for a few weeks. I'd never had set myself up here.

It's a very important time in my life, but there's little here that stimulates me. The last thing I want is change but I might have to up sticks and move so as I can have hope for my future and settle down!!

Saying that, I think if I could build myself a life my surroundings wouldn't bother me so much.

Boots888

I'd rather be on my own though than feeling lonely surrounded by friends and family that can happen more often than not.

I mean there are so many posters on here, for example, that are obliged to spend Christmas together whether they want to or not.

I'm lucky in that respect!!!

starryshell

Boots888 wrote: »

Argh! I appreciate your post. But no, the last thing i want to do is make friends with the english ex-pats down here. They are vile, sorry, but its true.

I didn't really review the area I've ended up in (my mistake) but suffice to say, though it's surrounded by beautiful countryside it's full of mainly drunken pensioners. Expats that are all running away from thier lives ( much like myself only a lot older) There's no-one of my age, only a few that I've nothing in common with. It's also a hot tourist spot so it's a very transient group of people that come again year after year for a few weeks. I'd never had set myself up here.

It's a very important time in my life, but there's little here that stimulates me. The last thing I want is change but I might have to up sticks and move so as I can have hope for my future and settle down!!

Saying that, I think if I could build myself a life my surroundings wouldn't bother me so much.

Oh, I do understand! I have explored some American expat sites here in the UK...and I don't have anything in common with them, either. Except being born and raised in the same country. Most of them moved here to be with British husbands (they're 90% female) and seriously make me cringe :embarasse.

As you say, it is better to be alone like this, than to be obligated to go to see people you don't really want to see!

Boots888

starryshell wrote: »

Oh, I do understand! I have explored some American expat sites here in the UK...and I don't have anything in common with them, either. Except being born and raised in the same country. Most of them moved here to be with British husbands (they're 90% female) and seriously make me cringe :embarasse.

As you say, it is better to be alone like this, than to be obligated to go to see people you don't really want to see!

I've made some really good French, Dutch and Belguim friends. It's just the English that have issues that I can't be bothered with.

You know you yourself could make friends with poeple in the UK who are lovely and not necessarily self obsessed neurotic Americans!!!:rotfl:

I just cannot tolerate my peers down here, is it the same with you eh?

marisco_2

Is there an elderly neighbour who might very much enjoy your company? Xmas morning I am popping over with my two little boys to see a neighbour of mine, who lives alone, to enjoy a coffee and a mince pie and a good chat. It will do us all good and spreads a little festive cheer.

This Christmas it is just myself and my little boys. Initially I felt very odd about not being with my dad at xmas, the first time ever. He and my stepmum are spending Christmas with her daughter this year as it is her first year in her own home with a new baby. So totally understandable. My boys and I are all meeting up with my dad and stepmum on the 28th and spending a long weekend with them and doing Christmas then.

Whatever you decide to do I hope you will enjoy the festive season.