Really urgently need some advice pls :(

nevadagirl

Hello there,

Another one of us who's been there here, just to say that when it happened to me I took a week off, sorted out some practicalities, like letting the council know he'd moved out so I got my council tax discount, and cutting off his mobile phone, which I was paying for, and filled my freezer with 'healthy balance' type microwave ready meals because I knew otherwise I wouldn't cook or eat properly. Okay, I know they're full of rubbish and if you don't get them out of the reductions cabinet they're expensive, but it would've been me living off cigarettes, coffee, red wine and crisps if I hadn't done that.

And don't be afraid/ashamed to tell friends and family about what's happened. I didn't tell my parents for six months because I was so embarrassed to have been so badly let down by him and not seen it coming. They still don't know that I got landed with all his debts, either.

Hope you are feeling better about things soon and good luck with tackling all the practicalities, too. If you need time off work to get things sorted and work is being okay about it, take it, but don't let yourself get isolated.

You know what's right for you, but please take care of yourself and don't get over-tired, dehydrated or too hungry.

p.s. the dippy little madam he ran off with ended up cheating on him for the whole time (two years if you count the overlap with our relationship) they were together, generally treated him like dirt before dumping him in front of all their colleagues - she was the office junior.

Tashja

Hi hun

Didn't want to read and say nothing.

I have nothing to add to what has already been said but just want to send you enough hugs and strength to get through this.

Look after yourself.

T xx

Shineyhappy

"i know what you say is true - but it doesn't heal a broken heart any quicker and it doesn't stop the tears flowing. most of the time i already feel much more at peace at home. i just feel totally lost without him as it all came as something of a shock and i thought i would be with him for the rest of my life. i cant believe i made such a bad choice. (i know i sound terribly naive but there you go - i guess i am)."

I am an intelligent person as I am sure you are too. But even the smartest people become stupid and naive when it comes to love.

I felt lost too, for months and it wasnt easy for me and I am sure it is harder for you. But after a while you wont feel so lost and things begin to look up. Now I think why did I spend so much of life with a complete and utter pathetic waste of space! I must of been insane.

I think a lot of what we go through at a time like this is shock and grief. Like you I thought we would be together forever, a month before he left he was telling me he wanted to start trying for kids:mad: So to loose something that you think will last forever over night is a mnd blowing experience and you will need time to recover. But you will eventually be thankful that this happened.

Best of luck to you and I hope his karma catches up with him!

mrslawrence2003

he was flirting with his new g/f on an online forum that i and all our friends use yesterday. that really hurt. erk.

anyways. life goes on. really worried about the flat tho and not finding a flatmate - only got 3 people interested which really isn't enough.

postingalwaysposting

aww mrs l you seem to have been through the mill i hope things are soon on the rise for you... you will soon find a great lodger, it just takes time.. where are you located?

mrslawrence2003

postingalwaysposting wrote: »

aww mrs l you seem to have been through the mill i hope things are soon on the rise for you... you will soon find a great lodger, it just takes time.. where are you located?

SE London.

postingalwaysposting

mrslawrence2003 wrote: »

SE London.

ahh shouldnt be much harder then

mrslawrence2003

postingalwaysposting wrote: »

ahh shouldnt be much harder then

i dunno - i'm a born worrier and if i can't rent the room asap then i'm in big trouble.

Shineyhappy

I know what you mean about exs flirting on online forums! :mad: I just stopped using the forum as it just wasn't worth the aggro.

There are specific websites that match potential landlords with potential tennants. Make sure you have someone with you when you interview them just incase!

Make sure you completly sepperate your finances and get his name off everything you can as you dont want him changing his mind and trying to come back! It would be typical of someone like him! They think the grass will be greener but as they usually find out, it isn't!

NekoZombie

Maybe try gumtree? Is the room quite expensive? If not I wouldn't worry - there are always lots of people looking for rooms.