Really urgently need some advice pls :(

mrslawrence2003

ZTD wrote: »

How easily could you get another job if you lost this one through "stress"?

quite easily but it would really badly effect my career. work have been very understanding tho and have offered to help financially in the form of a loan, but trying to keep work and personal life separate. my parents are trying to help out financially, but my mum's already retired and i'm so angry that they have to even consider taking up my husband's responsibilities, because he's had enough of them. :mad: :mad: :mad:

Shineyhappy

I would say I am sorry for your husband leaving you, but I am not. I was in your situation, ok we weren't married but my ex ran off with a teenager (19). I would say that although you don't realise it now, you will be far better off on your own or with someone else.

My ex and I bought a flat in March last year after he stayed with me for a few years. I knew he was useless, with money, at going to work, at being addicted to online games (he is 29 now!), he had a horrid temper. But with my mum and him encouraging me to buy somewhere with him I did.

I can tell you just how stupid I have been if you like, but I have to say it makes me feel like a complete retard. I put up with far too much!

Still over 6 months on I have gone from a gibbering wreck to a much much happier person. I thought I couldnt cope without him, now I release I couldnt cope with him.

He agreed to sell me the flat and I am supposed to be buying him out, everything is done my end and I am just waiting for him to sign things. I think he is delaying as he is a bully, but even if he doesnt and I loose my home and have to force a sale I am better off without the extra 12 stone weighing me down, depressing me and generally taking up valuable oxygen!

Some people only harm people and I think you had a guy like that, I certainly did and I am sure that there are plenty of nice people on here who are too nice for their own goods!

Make sure your next bf is just as nice as you!

Big virtual hug and keep smiling!

Ps I also had to get a lodger in and it isnt so bad.

mrslawrence2003

poppy10 wrote: »

Also remember to change your username.

don't think i'm quite ready to do that.

incidentally - has anyone heard of the BCW group? this is who the money went to last year......... a DCA?

RAS

Here

http://www.bcwgroup.com/

joeblack066

***HUGS*** to you hun, you are by far the better person, he is a lowlife. When you think of who it is he has run off with, remember that SHE has to put up with the lies/ deceit and everything else that goes with the scumbag, including never quite being able to be sure if he will run off with someone else. That, my friend, is her penance.

mrslawrence2003

Shineyhappy wrote: »

I would say I am sorry for your husband leaving you, but I am not. I was in your situation, ok we weren't married but my ex ran off with a teenager (19). I would say that although you don't realise it now, you will be far better off on your own or with someone else.

My ex and I bought a flat in March last year after he stayed with me for a few years. I knew he was useless, with money, at going to work, at being addicted to online games (he is 29 now!), he had a horrid temper. But with my mum and him encouraging me to buy somewhere with him I did.

I can tell you just how stupid I have been if you like, but I have to say it makes me feel like a complete retard. I put up with far too much!

Still over 6 months on I have gone from a gibbering wreck to a much much happier person. I thought I couldnt cope without him, now I release I couldnt cope with him.

He agreed to sell me the flat and I am supposed to be buying him out, everything is done my end and I am just waiting for him to sign things. I think he is delaying as he is a bully, but even if he doesnt and I loose my home and have to force a sale I am better off without the extra 12 stone weighing me down, depressing me and generally taking up valuable oxygen!

Some people only harm people and I think you had a guy like that, I certainly did and I am sure that there are plenty of nice people on here who are too nice for their own goods!

Make sure your next bf is just as nice as you!

Big virtual hug and keep smiling!

Ps I also had to get a lodger in and it isnt so bad.

i know what you say is true - but it doesn't heal a broken heart any quicker and it doesn't stop the tears flowing. most of the time i already feel much more at peace at home. i just feel totally lost without him as it all came as something of a shock and i thought i would be with him for the rest of my life. i cant believe i made such a bad choice. (i know i sound terribly naive but there you go - i guess i am).

ZTD

mrslawrence2003 wrote: »

i know what you say is true - but it doesn't heal a broken heart any quicker and it doesn't stop the tears flowing. most of the time i already feel much more at peace at home. i just feel totally lost without him as it all came as something of a shock and i thought i would be with him for the rest of my life. i cant believe i made such a bad choice. (i know i sound terribly naive but there you go - i guess i am).

You were trusting, caring and loving. That's his loss - not yours.

beanielou

mrslawrence2003 wrote: »

i know what you say is true - but it doesn't heal a broken heart any quicker and it doesn't stop the tears flowing. most of the time i already feel much more at peace at home. i just feel totally lost without him as it all came as something of a shock and i thought i would be with him for the rest of my life. i cant believe i made such a bad choice. (i know i sound terribly naive but there you go - i guess i am).

I know its very hard.
Take lots of care
Huggles

taxi73

Just sending you hugs...not much I can add to the above comments as they are all right you are better off without him!!!...I know it hurts but don't ever think you are stupid for trusting someone....it's his loss...and what goes around comes around..he'll get what he deserves

hypno06

Hi Mrs L, only just found and read this thread and I hope over the last couple of days you have been able to get the ball rolling with regard to the practicalities.

All I want to say really is to keep posting here. Many DFWers have been there and can give you advice and support throughout. You will get through this even though it may feel disastrous right now. Things financially will sort themselves out but the most important thing is for you to look after yourself. You must keep your strength and as said above, use that anger positively.

Good luck and keep posting x