Frugal Frump to Fab-u-lous Dharrrrrrrling Winter Solstice to Spring Equinox

bratz81

LL - that's horrendous how your poor OH was treated. I'm gobsmacked and livid for you. I don't have any advice I'm afraid as it's not something I know anything about but didn't want to 'read and run'.

lessonlearned

Good morning

Slept quite fitfully and this morning I feel pretty grim. My poor body is a mass of aches and pains. "Just" stress of course, obviously after the adrenalin overload of yesterday. Neck glands are the size of hens eggs this morning and I'm hungry but the thought of food makes my tummy want to do somersaults:rotfl: What a state.

Never under-estimate the effects of stress.

Anyway will have a soak in the bath in a minute and get my act together. Then go over and see OH. I'm going to have to make it a short visit if possible even though it is our anniversary. We can celebrate another day. I need to do some shopping, there's some paperwork I've been ignoring, a pile of laundry, and I really need some rest.

I don't know what the next few days will hold so I need to pace myself, just in case OH is hospitalised. I cannot tell you how draining months of hospital visiting can be.

Here's me having a little whinge ........this has been going on for nearly 7 years now and I'm just so so tired. I don't know how much more I can take.

Sorry I know that sounds self-indulgent but I cannot offload on to my poor DS2, I cannot tell all of this to my parents they are just too old and frail, and my poor sister would just cave in. I have to hold it all together so much but right now I'm in floods of tears again. I can't pick up the phone and weep all over my friends - so I'm just letting it go and off loading to all you dear friends.

Thanks for "listening". iI am sorry to bore you all but I'm at a very low ebb today. I shall have to paint the smile on when I go out the door.

Hey Ho.

On the positive side the sun is shining, we've no snow so I can at least get out and about.

And...........whatever else happens - I really must keep that physio appt this week. And .......I must improve my diet, restart my vitamins and make time to do a bit of exercise even if it's just a bit of yoga.

I am resolved to take myself in hand and look after my own health.

Thanks for listening - it's time to start the day.

I'm nervous about what I will find when I get to the nursing home and how I'm going to get through it.

Bitsy_Beans

LL firstly have a very large hug xxx secondly if you have a reliable friend go and ring them. You are going to crack if you don't offload somewhere. I am not suggesting you can't do that here but To another human being who can hug you is far better xxxx
As for you OH I hope he has the strength to pull through to avoid going to hospital and don't feel bad, it's not self indulgent but everyone comes to a point where they can't take much more.

This won't alter what's happening but this might help you alleviate some stress. It's a technique called Havening. I tried this sat morning when my chest felt tight with stress, I got my very stressed friend to try it and we both found it reduced the feelings. It is Paul McKenna so hope that doesn't put anyone off but try this, best in private and do a few rounds and see how you feel xx

http://www.doctoroz.com/videos/try-havening-technique

Not much fabbing, been mostly house fabbing. Had a viewing Sunday morning but there were only here 5 mins. Still they did have another viewing shortly after so they might have not had time to hang about. Anyway I guess time will tell and the waiting continues........

Sorry got to dash now, will check back in later xxx

lizzie157

Oh LL am so sorry about OH. ((Hugs)) Haven't had much experience in this but I know from relatives experience that unless the vulnerable have someone to fight on their behalf their wshes are often disregarded. It makes me so angry! I know it's hard being the strong one of the family because I am thought of as that by my family even though I sometimes feel v. far from strong. Please try and get at least some rest and relaxation today, as for the eating etc I think you could be excused for giving it a miss today, thought he yoga may be beneficial. Take care.
Hewie good to hear you sounding positive and that you are all taking such good care of each other.

I'm feeling a bit stressed myself DD2 has been off school on and off for over 2 weeks. I was beginning to think she was trying it on ( we had a few problems with primary school -bullying) but after a vsit to the docs she's been diagnosed with a water infection. Have also been contacted by the friend, those of you who've been on this thread for a while will remember I decided to distance myself from as she made me feel bad about myself. Whilst not wanting to be rude I don't want to get back into that negative relationship, ( I have enough with H) so have decided a brief reply is all I want to give her.
Woke up this mornng with a bad stomach not sure if it's related to the above events or not but I too get this when I feel under pressure/ stress.
Take care -lets use today to be kind to ourselves X

Carmen

Twinnie, I cannot add anything more to what has already been said.
I am appalled :mad:
I remember you saying your Dr was very understanding, he maybe the one to talk to, you need to let it out? Please talk to someone, for the sake of your own health. Send you all virtual hugs.
Sorry to get all mumsie again;)

Bitsy, think I may get that cd, maybe stop me getting to the cranky stage :rotfl:

Lizzie, hope your DD is well again soon.

Have a good day every one.

Carmen xx

podperson

Hi all,

Just been trying to catch up!

Hewie - so glad to see you seem to have a god support network at least and everyone seems to be coming together x I'm sure you are already but I would say just keep an eye on your dad - sometimes when they seem so strong it can hit them all at once. Thinking of you x

LL - I am absolutely gobsmacked at the complete disregard of your poor OH's wishes! I do hope you're going to put a complaint in, though as Bitsy says whether it will make much difference is debatable. Offload all you like on here, it's not self-indulgent to feel drained after years of having to be strong and prop up other people. As others have mentioned though, do try and find someone to have a bit of a chat with in person as well - I'm sure none of your friends would think any less of you for having a bit of a weep to them, as you wouldn't for them in return x

Lizzie - hope dd is feeling better soon

Anyway, been a rather manic week! Had the wedding on Friday, which was lovely though OH ended up speaking to them on Thursday and upshot was we got roped into filming it as well - so there went my first none working wedding in about 3 years :rotfl:Not too bothered, think there should be a lot of good footage. Ended up being a very late night though and with setting off early the next morning ended up sleeping most of the way home (sorry, in-laws!)
Then barely had a few hours before had to go and set up for the concert. Found it a bit of a frazzling experience - really don't think will do one on my own again, will insist on having some help as it's really too much for one person! The concert itself was good though and OH enjoyed it I think. Was trying to catch up on some work yesterday but was a bit knackered and didn't get much done - and then we had to meet his mum and dad at night.

Back to work today, and of course the other girl in here is off sick. I'm sure she does it on purpose because I've had a few days off It does seem rather uncanny how it always seems to be timed this way! Going to a writer's group meeting tonight - not been before so a little nervous but there is a talk on so hopefully it will be good.
*hugs* to those struggling at the moment and hope everyone else is having a good day x

lessonlearned

Hi peeps

Just back from seeing OH - thought I'd let you know he seems a bit brighter and stronger. His new "mega" meds seem to be kicking in. He's still very tired and his breathing is still very ragged but fingers crossed I think we are getting there. It makes me feel easier.

Oddly enough we have a meeting booked with his care manager anyway for next week so the question of hospitalisation, mandates etc will be brought up then. I'm not letting it ride. There will be other episodes and I want OH's wishes to be sacrosanct and any instructions he has given to be absolutely watertight.

I will be contacting my solicitor tomorrow on other matters, his power of attorney amongst other things. She has said that we only needed a financial one and that his wishes regarding any health or medical issues were covered by the mandate he had given to the home, it would suffice for future needs. After yesterday's shenanigans I'm not so sure. I think we need to think about a full Health POA as well. I'm not putting him or myself through that again.

I can and will continue to fight for him. I'm also going to do my own POA too, I never want to be in a position when health care professionals can over-ride my wishes.

By the way Bitsy - thanks for that link it looks very interesting. I've no aversion to Paul McKenna:rotfl: I think anything that helps us to deal with the stresses that life throws at us can only be of benefit.

Yesterday whilst I was at the nursing home and at screaming point I put my coat on and walked round the grounds to cool off. I came upon a couple of raised beds that the residents had started last year. I stood and pulled out some weeds and for just a few minutes I escaped into another world.

For me things like gardening or making a piece of jewellery really help me to switch off. I've dug out some beads and some broken bits of jewellery so I can have a couple of evenings making a necklace or something.

Maman posted up something about Helen Mirren's crepy neck the other day. There is a thread about this very subject which I have been following. One or two people have recommended a product from the Body Shop. I might give it a try, my neck looks decidedly scraggy these days.:rotfl:

There's snow on the way again apparently, so I've done a bit of shopping so we are all nicely stocked up again.

I have been exploring a bit recently, found a nice little shopping area just 5 minutes drive away. 4 charity shops, a lovely shoe shop, a nice little boutique, a deli, a health shop, a proper butchers, florist and greengrocers, a George's Fish & Chip Shop:rotfl:, a couple of nice cafes, as well as a large co-op, Boots, Wilkinsons and Farm Foods, library, health centre, opticians so plenty to go at without having to go very far at all.

This side of town is a bit "posher" than where I used to live - "old money" :rotfl::rotfl: so the charity shops here have some really nice good quality clobber.;)

Here's one happy shopper:D.

PS - Lizzie - I'm still reading your benefit posts - what a minefield for you. Hope your DD gets better soon. Your business plans sound good too. I wish you every success, the sooner you can free yourself from DWP's clutches the better it will be for you. The last thing you need is them breathing down your neck all the time.

Hugs to all that need them.

Good luck with the viewings Bitsy. We should be getting into the busier time for house selling now, fingers crossed. It must be very difficult for you with your H having to be away.

Pod - glad the wedding went well. Time for you to rest a little, my girl.!!! You' must be knackered....

Time for a little nap and then cook some dinner. At least my tummy has stopped doing somersaults now.

samuela66

Hi Peeps,

I really want to join this thread but feel like I am butting in because of the hard time LL is having,( my thoughts are with you LL) haven't read all the posts yet but am hoping to work my way through them!!

I need to lose a bit of weight about 3/4 stone, learn to take my make up off before bed:eek:, and do something a bit more constructive than sit on the couch with a glass of wine of an evening:o...

I'm not too bad on the perfume and makeup stakes when I am working............... but just feel like I need to buck myself up, so I will read on through!

Sam x

lessonlearned

Hi Sam and welcome to the thread. Of course you are not butting in.

I'm afraid I've been whinging a bit this last couple of days, but please don't be put off. I'm usually more upbeat and positive.

Normal service will be resumed asap.:D

We all have our setbacks and we know we can come on here and let off steam.

Anyway you seem to have made a good start, so join the gang and welcome aboard.

verynewmoneysaver

Haven't been on here for ages but just wanted to say sorry for your hassle with the home LL. My Dad has had to go into a home. He has an aortic aneurysm and lung cancer, both of which aren't being treated as he's 96. He's quite confused. The home say that they are doing the Gold Standard in pallative care so hopefully he'll be well cared for. I wouldn't want him back in the hospital. He keeps asking to go home at the moment, but my Mum couldn't manage him in the bungalow. Today he thought I was his sister. He's also falling over a lot.