In-laws vent!

Treevo

I wouldn't leave mine with in laws like that. They either respect your parenting decisions or they only see their grandchild when you're there to supervise.

Person_one

It really doesn't take a genius or a parenting expert to realise that toddlers need their nappy changing from time to time. At nearly two, does he kick up a fuss when being changed and maybe that's why they put it off? Not a good excuse but I'm trying to imagine what would make them ignore his needs like that.

As these are your partner's parents, I think he should be the one to address this with them. Yes, they should listen to you but he'll be able to take a more upfront and straightforward approach with them, being their son.

lindseykim13

they remind me of my in laws when we had our 1st ds-babysat only once or twice as they wouldn't listen to my requests. They were told that these days you put baby at the bottom of the cot so that they can't wriggle down under the covers and suffocate. Came home to find him at the very top of the cot with a huge amount of blanket to wriggle under all loose!
So gave them another chance a few weeks later repeated that this time they must put him at the bottom. What do we find they've done it again.
So they have never looked after any of my children again until they were old enough to talk.

ognum

pinkshoes wrote: »

That's a little unfair. I would have paid to leave him with the child-minder, but they insisted on having him, so I was put in a position where I couldn't say no.

If they wanted to go out to lunch, then I could have taken my son to the childminder, as they know I have afternoon plans for him.

I invited people round at 3pm. He was supposed to be back at 1pm. I think that's a reasonable time frame!

You clearly have communication issues with your child's grandparents, these are seldom one sided.

Do they have a mobile phone, could you have detailed the information for them on paper rather than relying on them remembering?

Most people if you write things down will follow the information sheet. How does your partner behave after being parented by the people you portray so badly? Is he damaged?

I think maybe you are someone who is used to having things exactly the way you want it, they are maybe a bit more relaxed about how things are done and time scales etc, maybe that may actually be good for your child!

notanewuser

Person_one wrote: »

It really doesn't take a genius or a parenting expert to realise that toddlers need their nappy changing from time to time. At nearly two, does he kick up a fuss when being changed and maybe that's why they put it off? Not a good excuse but I'm trying to imagine what would make them ignore his needs like that.

.

Erm, OP said the child is 25 months (so over 2, not nearly 2). Hope you pay more attention to your medical education!! :eek:

notanewuser

Is he not back yet, OP?

I'd be foaming at the mouth if this were my child, both the nappy and the blatant disregard of the time!!

Person_one

notanewuser wrote: »

Erm, OP said the child is 25 months (so over 2, not nearly 2). Hope you pay more attention to your medical education!! :eek:

Still working on that whole 'politeness' thing I see.

[Deleted User]

If in doubt - micro-manage. Phone them as often as you can. Ask if he's had his nappy changed or a nap.

It doesn't sound like you've tried to ring them?

pinkshoes

They dropped him off 10 minutes before his play date turned up! He had a big fat nappy which hadn't been changed since about 9.30am when he did a nice big poo for them They took him on their boat. I was a bit miffed as they don't have a life-jacket for him. For some strange reason he hates boats, so screamed his head off!

Yes, my OH did survive. Although he did fall in a swimming pool and had to be scooped off the floor when he was a toddler!

They have my mobile number, I have theirs.

I've previously given them WRITTEN instructions advising of nappy changes at a minimum of every 4 hours, and also roughly when he might require snacks, meals and a nap.

I've frequently asked them not to give him "junk" food.

They knew very well I'd be back about 1pm, and he had a play date this afternoon. Apparently service was slow at lunch, hence they were late back, but forgot to call. I called them, but they weren't answering their mobile.

He's very good when having his nappy changed, and will lie down giving you instructions on what to do next (he has amazing speech for his age).

They are not bad people, they are actually very nice, but just seem rather clueless when they take him out, which I don't like. I would happily let them look after him at their house (although wasn't impressed when their 35kg dog bowled him right over!!!), if they can't remember basic things like nappies and a drink when they take him out, despite several reminders, then perhaps they shouldn't be?!

ognum wrote: »

I think maybe you are someone who is used to having things exactly the way you want it, they are maybe a bit more relaxed about how things are done and time scales etc, maybe that may actually be good for your child!

I would say perhaps more careless than relaxed.

I don't expect anything to be exactly as I want it, but I do expect my child to be looked after well, regardless of who is taking care of him. If a child-minder frequently left my son with wee-filled nappies and went out without his stuff, I would be equally unimpressed.

I always put my son first, and when going out, if I ever forget something, it's always something of mine! If it's someone elses child (i.e. if I look after my cousins), then I'm even more meticulous!

He's now fast asleep, so time for a nice glass of wine for me after a LONG and somewhat stressful day.

ognum

pinkshoes wrote: »

They dropped him off 10 minutes before his play date turned up! He had a big fat nappy which hadn't been changed since about 9.30am when he did a nice big poo for them They took him on their boat. I was a bit miffed as they don't have a life-jacket for him. For some strange reason he hates boats, so screamed his head off!

Yes, my OH did survive. Although he did fall in a swimming pool and had to be scooped off the floor when he was a toddler!

They have my mobile number, I have theirs.

I've previously given them WRITTEN instructions advising of nappy changes at a minimum of every 4 hours, and also roughly when he might require snacks, meals and a nap.

I've frequently asked them not to give him "junk" food.

They knew very well I'd be back about 1pm, and he had a play date this afternoon. Apparently service was slow at lunch, hence they were late back, but forgot to call. I called them, but they weren't answering their mobile.

He's very good when having his nappy changed, and will lie down giving you instructions on what to do next (he has amazing speech for his age).

They are not bad people, they are actually very nice, but just seem rather clueless when they take him out, which I don't like. I would happily let them look after him at their house (although wasn't impressed when their 35kg dog bowled him right over!!!), if they can't remember basic things like nappies and a drink when they take him out, despite several reminders, then perhaps they shouldn't be?!



I would say perhaps more careless than relaxed.

I don't expect anything to be exactly as I want it, but I do expect my child to be looked after well, regardless of who is taking care of him. If a child-minder frequently left my son with wee-filled nappies and went out without his stuff, I would be equally unimpressed.

I always put my son first, and when going out, if I ever forget something, it's always something of mine! If it's someone elses child (i.e. if I look after my cousins), then I'm even more meticulous!

He's now fast asleep, so time for a nice glass of wine for me aftLONG and somewhat stressful day.

So in the end despite the need to vent no real problems, just a nappy change an hour and a half late.

Not so bad after all!