Not 'doing' Santa

lostinrates

Person_one wrote: »

You say misappropriation and distortion, I say evolution and development.

Should things be either preserved exactly as they begun or discarded? Change is not always bad!

(Although we never really had the Easter bunny as 'bringer of eggs' and neither did any of my childhood friends, it was just a background character, maybe that's more regional?)

I have been thinking about this since yesterday and the blaming of the yanks for Santa klaus (of course, they got it from europe so it's a pass the parcel of blame surely?).

I agree...things develope and encompass. Without 'misspropriation' and often 'distortion' our dictionaries would be tremendously shorter and less rich and so would our possibilities for expression and cultural stimulation.

I do hate that Christmas starts being merchandised as paddling pools clear the supermarket shelves, but the way we tackle that is to celebrate as much as we can between the major events. Appreciate the other things going on.

notanewuser

fluffybunny wrote: »

so how exactly will you tell her?

Each year she goes back to school and all the other children are excited and ask her what she got from Santa. She says, "Nothing at all"
How is a young child supposed to comprehend that she is different from all the other children?

Did you have Santa when you were growing up? I assume you did as your Nan gave a stocking for your daughter when she was born.

I am curious as to how you both came to this decision.

I had Santa, very briefly. I'm an October baby too, so 1st, 2nd and 3rd xmases I wouldn't have had much understanding of it. 4th Xmas (aged 3 and fully into it) I apparently almost gave my mother heart failure by changing my mind about what I really really wanted from Santa on Xmas eve. She spent hours trying to get it for me.

5th Xmas, age 4, I don't recall. 6th Xmas, age 5 and mum was back at work after having my sister. I asked for a specific thing in pink. Couple of weeks before Xmas she asked if it mattered if it was green instead. Xmas day, present unwrapped, green one inside. I put 2 and 2 together and my relationship with santa was over. The next 6 xmases I was sworn to secrecy for my sister's sake and I absolutely hated having to pretend. Once I hit my teens Xmas meant nothing to me, and as soon as I started work at 15 I worked every Xmas eve, Xmas day and Boxing Day until I turned 20.

My sister works in the emergency services, so it's rare we do Xmas at Xmas now anyway. DD will more likely than not be having her Xmas before any of her school friends anyway!

I doubt very much that most 5/6 year olds remember what came from whom by Xmas afternoon anyway, so will list everything they got rather than the one "from Santa".

balletshoes

notanewuser wrote: »

I had Santa, very briefly. I'm an October baby too, so 1st, 2nd and 3rd xmases I wouldn't have had much understanding of it.
4th Xmas (aged 3 and fully into it) I apparently almost gave my mother heart failure by changing my mind about what I really really wanted from Santa on Xmas eve. She spent hours trying to get it for me.

5th Xmas, age 4, I don't recall. 6th Xmas, age 5 and mum was back at work after having my sister. I asked for a specific thing in pink. Couple of weeks before Xmas she asked if it mattered if it was green instead. Xmas day, present unwrapped, green one inside. I put 2 and 2 together and my relationship with santa was over. The next 6 xmases I was sworn to secrecy for my sister's sake and I absolutely hated having to pretend. Once I hit my teens Xmas meant nothing to me, and as soon as I started work at 15 I worked every Xmas eve, Xmas day and Boxing Day until I turned 20.

now theres a perfect example of doing the Santa story your way - in our house the letter to Santa is done by mid December at the latest, and once its done and sent to Santa, you can't change your mind .

Person_one

lostinrates wrote: »

I have been thinking about this since yesterday and the blaming of the yanks for Santa klaus (of course, they got it from europe so it's a pass the parcel of blame surely?).

I must admit, I'm not a fan of hearing 'Santa' in this country. Not because I think its worse or not as valid, just because I think 'Father Christmas' is a really nice name for the character and I'd hate to see it disappear completely.

We adopt so much American culture without even noticing, its nice to keep a bit of what makes us different.

lostinrates

Person_one wrote: »

I must admit, I'm not a fan of hearing 'Santa' in this country. Not because I think its worse or not as valid, just because I think 'Father Christmas' is a really nice name for the character and I'd hate to see it disappear completely.

We adopt so much American culture without even noticing, its nice to keep a bit of what makes us different.

I think that's fair, but Santa is not an American word, and While we adopt the culture I think we have to accept blame for not pushing ours, and those that add to cultural wealth that we have adopted.


Oh, and on the misappropriation.....I have another example....food. I like some misappropriated food!

Person_one

lostinrates wrote: »

Oh, and on the misappropriation.....I have another example....food. I like some misappropriated food!

Ooh, yes, I plan to have some food misappropriated from Thailand and distorted in my own special way later on tonight!

fluffybunny_2

"I apparently almost gave my mother heart failure by changing my mind about what I really really wanted from Santa on Xmas eve. She spent hours trying to get it for me. "

If one of my three children did this, I would tell them that they sent their Christmas list to Santa weeks and weeks ago and he couldnt possibly change it at this late stage. Also, I wouldnt have "heart failure". You sound like you were the type of child who was very demanding and she did her utmost to please you.

5th Xmas, age 4, I don't recall. 6th Xmas, age 5 and mum was back at work after having my sister. I asked for a specific thing in pink. Couple of weeks before Xmas she asked if it mattered if it was green instead. Xmas day, present unwrapped, green one inside. I put 2 and 2 together and my relationship with santa was over

these days, I don't think it would happen...you getting the wrong colour. Years ago people used to camp outside toysrus to get certain toys but these days, the power of the internet, you can get anything in any colour. saying that, if there was something that I couldnt get in the desired colour, I think its how you handle it with the child. I wouldnt ask "would it matter". I would plant seeds of info from time to time that Santa might get it wrong as he goes to thousands of children in one night but I wouldnt mention a specific alternative colour. My children are usually accepting of what they get.
But, it just wouldnt happen now due to the internet.

Nicki

notanewuser wrote: »

The next 6 xmases I was sworn to secrecy for my sister's sake and I absolutely hated having to pretend.

So the bit you hated about the whole Santa tradition is the bit that you want your own child to experience for the whole of her childhood, without even getting the pleasure of a few years where she does believe and is entranced

Or is it your intention to tell her that she doesn't have to keep the secret from other children she will meet socially and in school, and therefore take the choice of preserving the Santa tradition away from every other family your child comes into contact with over the Christmas period (including those who have no choice about this because they attend the same school/Brownies/Sports Club, etc?

JimmyTheWig

notanewuser wrote: »

I doubt very much that most 5/6 year olds remember what came from whom by Xmas afternoon anyway, so will list everything they got rather than the one "from Santa".

I think there's a lot of truth in that.
In our house, Father Christmas brings the children their main present each and a stocking with little bits in.
I always worry myself about who has bought what, and making sure my wife and I are in agreement. But the children are never bothered.

As a child we had stockings - and presents with the stockings that didn't fit inside - from Father Christmas (which appeared overnight ready for Christmas morning, none of which were wrapped up) and wrapped presents under the tree from our mum and dad (which were put there about a week before Christmas). We continued this for many years after knowing that there was no Father Christmas, so I know what the distinction was from then. What I don't know is if I remember there being a distinction between the sets of presents from when I believed. [If I ever _really_ believed - I don't remember finding out it wasn't true!]

Nan63

notanewuser wrote: »

and my relationship with santa was over.

Is it just me that finds that so sad? The thought of a little 5 year old giving up on Santa?

I am guilty of perpetuating the Santa myth to my grandchildren and will long continue to do so. I've just had a quick straw poll round my office and not one person even remembers when they stopped believing in Santa, let alone being emotionally scarred by it.

I believe!