Not 'doing' Santa

jellyhead

Janepig wrote: »

I've used the Father Christmas "threat" on DS tonight, not that he'll take a blind bit of notice. Don't think I ever used it on DD, never had to, but DS, well I wouldn't be surprised if he gets up on Christmas morning to a stocking full of coal!!

Jx

Have you used the 'portable north pole' thing? You put in your details and Santa sends an email with a link to a video for your child.

I put my 16 year old on the naughty list because his room is messy. He's gutted :rotfl:

I watched other people's videos before deciding whether to do it for my 7 year old who is a sensitive soul. It's very positive - even if you're on the naughty list he says that he and his reindeer know you can improve. My 7 year old has had a nightmare start to year 3 and his target was to try harder at school. He knows this means specifically to try to do something before flapping his arms and saying he can't do it. I don't like star charts and I don't use threats. I've never threatened him with Santa, so I wasn't sure about this - but it's worked really well because Santa said he knew he could do it. Of course it may just be that he's matured a bit or is finding a change to the syllabus much easier than previous topics, but it hasn't done him any harm. He's very proud that Santa sent him a video :rotfl:

notanewuser

gingin wrote: »

Can I ask what you wanted to get out of this thread? It didn't really pose a question, it was just a statement. Nobody seems to have changed their opinions from either side.

It's not intended to be an antagonistic question, I'm just genuinely curious.

I'm not really sure, to be honest. Somebody said "that's a whole other thread" to something I wrote elsewhere, so I thought I'd make the thread.

Didn't expect such a debate!!

jellyhead

notanewuser wrote: »

I'm not really sure, to be honest. Somebody said "that's a whole other thread" to something I wrote elsewhere, so I thought I'd make the thread.

Didn't expect such a debate!!

Most aspects of parenting lead to fierce debate on here, especially if anyone feels that their own choices are being criticised.

The working mums vs stay at home mums is always an enjoyable one

neneromanova

jellyhead wrote: »

Most aspects of parenting lead to fierce debate on here, especially if anyone feels that their own choices are being criticised.

The working mums vs stay at home mums is always an enjoyable one

*coughs* Stay at home mums are better *coughs*

The reason I asked earlier about did the people who aren't giving them "santa" have santa themselves, I just wanted to see why they felt that they were allowed to have it (OK their parents never said he wasn't real) but felt their child wasn't deserving enough to be able to find out for themselves?

Surely if you tell them that this doesn't exist, that doesn't exist, the whole world is crap, then they'll grow up to be bitter little souls... *just an observation*

balletshoes

jellyhead wrote: »

Most aspects of parenting lead to fierce debate on here, especially if anyone feels that their own choices are being criticised.

The working mums vs stay at home mums is always an enjoyable one

neneromanova wrote: »

*coughs* Stay at home mums are better *coughs*

take cover !!

jellyhead

Funnily enough, my friend mentioned that the girl who was in our children's class but is now home-schooled has said that they don't believe in Santa in their house ... we reckon it's a 'stay at home mums' thing

ETA: Joking! I'm a SAHM myself.

OrkneyStar

jellyhead wrote: »

Funnily enough, my friend mentioned that the girl who was in our children's class but is now home-schooled has said that they don't believe in Santa in their house ... we reckon it's a 'stay at home mums' thing

ETA: Joking! I'm a SAHM myself.

Crazy most of those SAHM's, and as for the home educating SAHM's, well don't start me on them :eek::eek:. Of course, those working mums are a whole other kettle of fish, words cannot express how insane they must be . And as for fathers, well fathers are just off this planet insane. In fact parents, on the whole, are completely bonkers.....they'd have to be .

(disclaimer- this is 'tongue in cheek', a joke, not meant to be in anyway true or offensive! , hence the font and text colour).

neneromanova

OrkneyStar wrote: »

Crazy most of those SAHM's, and as for the home educating SAHM's, well don't start me on them :eek::eek:. Of course, those working mums are a whole other kettle of fish, words cannot express how insane they must be . And as for fathers, well fathers are just off this planet insane. In fact parents, on the whole, are completely bonkers.....they'd have to be .

(disclaimer- this is 'tongue in cheek', a joke, not meant to be in anyway true or offensive! , hence the font and text colour).

Your font just hurt my eyes

notanewuser

peachyprice wrote: »

Exactly!

What not letting your child enjoy a magical time has to do with being a atheist I don't know.

Absolutely nothing. Point was that we don't believe in any religion, so we'll be teaching what others believe, both in terms of organised religion and santa.

peachyprice wrote: »

OP, do you intend to not tell your child about the tooth fairy too? How would she feel when everyone else in school gets a coin everytime they lose a tooth and she doesn't?

Does the tooth fairy have the monopoly then? Can't me/her dad/one of her teddies do something to mark the loss of a tooth (and another milestone?)

quinechinoise wrote: »

I am religious but I don't "do" the santa thing either. However, nursery and school have other ideas so my kids are constantly going on about it. (How they pair up "santa" bringing gifts with mommy buying gifts, I really don't know - but they seem okay with it.) If they ask me, I tell them about St Nicholas of Myra and the nativity story and giving gifts in the same tradition. I don't actively tell them school is rabbiting nonsense but I equally don't actively go against what their teachers tell them. It's a tricky situation that I mostly manage by ignoring it!

I have never been comfortable with the notion that you only get gifts if you are very good and that, following such logic, rich kids are somehow extra good because they get more gifts. My kids understand that some people are poor, some people are rich and most people are just average and they get what their parents can afford.

Absolutely agree with this. Thank you.

Alikay wrote: »

As offspring of a Jehovah's Witness, I'd say to the OP, that whatever your views may be on the season, the obscene commercialism, religious claptrap, pagan origins etc etc your children WILL be very exposed to it via school, friends, TV and so on. It may be better to have your own special traditions than make them feel they're missing out on other people's and getting nothing to make up for it.

I'd love to know why you (and others) assume we won't be doing anything at all, and that DD will in any way whatsoever think she's missing out.

shegirl wrote: »

I've never understood people who don't give their kids the pleasure and excitement of Santa.

It's the most magical thing at Christmas -for kids and parents, and those memories of their excitement will stay with them for life.

It's completely harmless.

For many, perhaps, but not for all.

shegirl wrote: »

As for 'being about spending time together' yeah, it is, but I spend time with my son every day of the year, I play with him every day of the year. So, without the magic and the present giving it wouldn't be much different to any other day aside from the fact we can't go to the shop.

We spend time with our DD every single day too, but Christmas is probably the only time she gets to spend any real time with her extended family, who all live 200+ miles from us in any direction. Yes, we see them for weekends throughout the year, but they're pretty rushed (we try to see 6 sets/14 people in about 48 hours each time). Christmas is pretty much the only time that everybody has a bit more time to spend together. As such, those times are and will be pretty damn special for DD. That's what I mean by spending time together!

quantumleap wrote: »

Are you actively discouraging her from believing her nightlight gives out magic biscuits and are you insisting that dragonfly's cannot possibly live under the fridge? If you are not prepared to allow her to believe in Santa by telling her he isn't real (which I'm assuming is what you are doing because if you don't then of course she will believe as most people will assume children will believe and treat her as such) then why would you allow her to think magic biscuits given out by her nightlight and dragonfly's under the fridge are real!

We won't be telling her he isn't real. We intend to tell her that some people believe that santa brings presents in the same way that some people believe in this god or that god and let her make up her own mind!

I didn't plant the magic biscuit/dragonfly idea into her head, and I shan't be putting the santa idea into her head. I don't encourage it, but she talks to me about it and I ask her questions about it. If she picks santa up from elsewhere, that's fine. If she becomes a catholic in the future that's fine too - because it will be her decision, not ours. Do you really not understand the difference here?!

eg "Mummy, in school they say that Jesus came back after he died. Is that true?" "Well, darling, some people believe that, and as long as you don't use that as a reason to hurt others, that's okay."

notanewuser

neneromanova wrote: »

*coughs* Stay at home mums are better *coughs*

The reason I asked earlier about did the people who aren't giving them "santa" have santa themselves, I just wanted to see why they felt that they were allowed to have it (OK their parents never said he wasn't real) but felt their child wasn't deserving enough to be able to find out for themselves?

Surely if you tell them that this doesn't exist, that doesn't exist, the whole world is crap, then they'll grow up to be bitter little souls... *just an observation*

It's not about saying anything doesn't exist!!! It's about letting kids come to their own beliefs/decisions. So I'm not going to tell her he does or doesn't exist. If she asks me, then it's something some people believe, and she can believe it too if she wants to!

It's not about denying her, or limiting her imagination or controlling her, it's about giving her the freedom to explore ideas without opinion from us.