Not 'doing' Santa

miss_independent

Growing up "Santa" was the most exciting and magical part of my childhood. It was only from the ages of around 3 - 8, didn't take my parents a huge amount of effort (they were getting me presents anyway!) and its the reason for some of my fondest childhood memories. If you are not into it then that's your prerogative but there is no way I would deprive a child of the "magic".

podperson

maman wrote: »

Which I'm sure you manage as an adult, although as you say it's tricky.

I think OP's daughter is potentially going to have a hard time as she gets older. She can either 'go with the flow' at school and any other organisations she's allowed to join or she speaks up and says 'my mum told me that's not true'. For most children their class teacher is a real adult focus for a few years and OP's DD may find it hard to cope with the conflict. It's not going to just happen at Christmas (over both Santa and Nativity) but throughout the year when bible stories are told which mum is encouraging her not to believe. To learn such tact and tolerance at such an early age is a big ask.

I must question OP's real conviction to atheism if she's already decided that she won't be withdrawing her child from assembly and will be allowing her to visit Santa with grandparents. How important is this belief/lack of belief to you?

I think as long as the OP is honest with their child about the fact that 'this is what some people believe, personally I don't, when you get a bit older you can decide for yourself'. My family was very non-religious but I ended up going to a faith school - simply because it was the one we both agreed was the best one in the area at the time. Being surrounded by people constantly saying to me 'this is fact' rather then belief did make me question things and I did have a brief few month period when I started to attend church - but then I worked through to my own personal beliefs and would now consider myself as atheist. I do appreciate the fact that I learnt about religion though as otherwise how could I have made an informed decision?

OrkneyStar

Idiophreak wrote: »

Not really...most of this thread has been a debate about presenting beliefs as fact....If people on this thread were just a little more cautious about doing so, it would be much jollier.

Personally, I'd never dream of having a signature that said "the tooth fairy is real - Jesus is not", especially around Christmas time...Comes across as a little... intolerant?

In light of the discussion today, I have added a disclaimer .
I stand strong with what I believe, but I don't tell anyone else they must believe it.
Anyway, I think we're over it now, the discussion seems to be about what you can 'leave out for Rudolph' i.e. eat yourself when kiddiwinkles in bed!

balletshoes

maman wrote: »

Of course I would want to encourage tolerance, I'm just saying it's tricky for young children.

I'm not sure where OP is going to find this non-relgious school? AFAIK all state schools in this country are religious although only some are faith schoools. The multi-cultural/multi faith aspect could cause OP even more issues as presumably she'll have similar views about Divali or Eid?

this has been brought up on MSE before - no, not all state schools are religious. My DD's wasn't, and its a big city state primary school. Its non-demoninational, and theres no prayers etc, at all. I believe from teachers/governors etc that there should be a "time of reflection" or something like that built into the school day, but in practice, at both her primary and now her secondary school, theres nothing like that. To my recollection the only time anything from the bible was discussed at her primary school was the nativity.

Idiophreak

OrkneyStar wrote: »

In light of the discussion today, I have added a disclaimer

Which in no way helps, because you're still presenting your opinion as fact.

For a proper disclaimer, just put:

"In my opinion:
Jesus is real, Santa is not real."

peachyprice

balletshoes wrote: »

this has been brought up on MSE before - no, not all state schools are religious. My DD's wasn't, and its a big city state primary school. Its non-demoninational, and theres no prayers etc, at all. I believe from teachers/governors etc that there should be a "time of reflection" or something like that built into the school day, but in practice, at both her primary and now her secondary school, theres nothing like that. To my recollection the only time anything from the bible was discussed at her primary school was the nativity.

Really? All schools here seem to have basic christianity embedded throughout the school day.

At the end of every assembly they prey, the local vicar visits frequently, infact at every opportunity, they all go off to church at easter, harvest and christmas etc. They do cover other religions but there's no doubt that christianity is dominant.

OrkneyStar

balletshoes wrote: »

this has been brought up on MSE before - no, not all state schools are religious. My DD's wasn't, and its a big city state primary school. Its non-demoninational, and theres no prayers etc, at all. I believe from teachers/governors etc that there should be a "time of reflection" or something like that built into the school day, but in practice, at both her primary and now her secondary school, theres nothing like that. To my recollection the only time anything from the bible was discussed at her primary school was the nativity.

I think children are supposed to be taught 'about' faith but not that they should believe any particular one, at non-denominational schools, and about morals, that sort of thing. While I believe in God and am Christian I can see a place for state schools being non-denom, parents can teach their children about a faith at home (and we will teach DS our faith though he will also be told that there are other faiths too).
DS class is doing a nativity and we have a carol service too, most of the parents enjoy the cuteness aspect even if they don't believe the story!

OrkneyStar

peachyprice wrote: »

Really? All schools here seem to have basic christianity embedded throughout the school day.

At the end of every assembly they prey, the local vicar visits frequently, infact at every opportunity, they all go off to church at easter, harvest and christmas etc. They do cover other religions but there's no doubt that christianity is dominant.

Can I ask, is this in England?
My experience of non-denom schools in Scotland is really not like this at all.
My experience of Catholic schools was slightly more biased toward certain things (guilt trips during his catholic education was mentioned by a colleague one time).

balletshoes

peachyprice wrote: »

Really? All schools here seem to have basic christianity embedded throughout the school day.

At the end of every assembly they prey, the local vicar visits frequently, infact at every opportunity, they all go off to church at easter, harvest and christmas etc. They do cover other religions but there's no doubt that christianity is dominant.

nope, no prayers, the local vicar only visits the school if invited (ie if they're doing their religion topic term, which is usually, but not always, Christianity and one other major religion, compare and contrast kind of deal - and then in that same term they will go visit a mosque/temple etc).
They only troop off to church as a whole school once a year for Christingle (and they can opt out of that if they want to). They don't do harvest festival etc.

peachyprice

OrkneyStar wrote: »

Can I ask, is this in England?
My experience of non-denom schools in Scotland is really not like this at all.
My experience of Catholic schools was slightly more biased toward certain things (guilt trips during his catholic education was mentioned by a colleague one time).

Yes, England. My children have been to 3 different primary schools in the LEA, all within the same cluster, all have had similar strong links with the church.

Which is fine, but we also have a large jewish, muslim and hindu community, I wish their leaders were encouraged too.